Stunt Granny Audio #66

Jon Gosselin, minus Kate and the eight, could be the next big WWE superstar!

If you don’t think Dusty and Kevin host this particular audio update, you are deeply mistaken, because they do. They talk about the abundance of wrestlers in the news lately talking about the need to build new stars. They talk about Jim Ross echoing that sentiment and giving a win one for the Gipper speech to Jack Swagger in the process. They would be remiss if they didn’t point out that Stephanie McMahon listens to the fans every Monday night, but it would probably help if she took the plugs out of her ears before doing so. They also talk about a whole bunch of other stuff, but you’re going to need to listen to find out what, and we suggest that you do.

Stunt Granny Audio Show #66

Stunt Granny For TNA Bookers

We could be this tool on a weekly basis.

A Twitter campaign (Story here at Prowrestling.net if you don’t have Twitter.) has made Dixie Carter cave to  friends and family pleas of Shannon Moore to give him another chance in TNA. That’s all it takes? Shameless plug – Become our followers on Twitter, write into Dixie and tell her that instead of Vince Russo and company booking TNA, let the Stunt Granny crew take it over. Hogan isn’t going to put TNA over the top especially when he’s delusional enough to think he taught Vince McMahon everything he knows about wrestling. Stunt Granny for bookers commences now! Tweet to your little heart’s content until we get the job. Thanks in advance. – Kevin

King of Hype

I hyped her crappy album. Do you think I'll have a problem hyping TNA?

According to Prowrestling.net (and the Startribune.com), Hulk Hogan said that he was a thorn in the side of Vince McMahon once when he went to WCW and hopes to do the same with TNA. The King of Hype has forgotten a couple of key things in his near geriatric state. First and foremost, it isn’t 1994 any more. Secondly, your hip is doing as well Kevin Nash’s knees are. Both of you can have the biggest guns in the world but it’s not going to hide your chicken legs. Third, Ted Turner and his near limitless pockets are not available. Dixie Carter may be better to look at than Jane Fonda now but that’s not going to help lure any WWE talent to your side that aren’t viewed as table scraps. At least you popped their ratings up a whole 0.2 last week, brotha! - Kevin

TNA Roster Game: DJK Edition

Dusty, Jordan & Kevin wanted to commit hari-kari after playing the TNA roster game.

Dusty, Jordan & Kevin take their turns skewering the TNA roster while trying to stay on track. Count how many times we say “Do I have to?”, “Who should I pick on this line?” and “Oh gawd, this row is terrible.” We wax poetic about how some superstars would make a great home furnishing, whether anyone will pick a woman, what coming in fifth place in the Special Olympics is compared to and so much more. Join us on the this self inflicted torture.

TNA Roster Game DKJ Edition

TNA Roster for those playing along at home.

Don’t like what ya hear or just want to shower us with praise? Visit us at the Stunt Granny Forum and follow along.

TNA Roster Game: E&J Edition!

This isn't a roster picture but who cares. Splitz!

Yes yes y’all it’s the return of The Roster Game to StuntGranny. In part one, Eric and Jeremy dissect the TNA roster and give their opinions and thoughts on who should stay, go and just leave wrestling altogether. They discuss the reason why Bobby Lashley is not needed and why he is bad for MMA in general at this time. They also come up with a good mash up for Sharmell and Jay Lethal. (Hint: It has something to do with Hulk Hogan.) There is also a discussion on who has a bad gimmick that can be salvaged with the help of Hot Topic and how so many wrestlers end up with porn names. There is a bunch more; hell there has to be since this is over an hour, so you better listen.

TNA Roster Game 2009 E&J Edition

TNA Roster for those playing along at home.

Don’t like what ya hear or just want to shower us with praise? Visit us at the Stunt Granny Forum and follow along.

So Easy, A Dinosaur Could Do It

I had no idea that Tyler Reks had a show on WWE.com until he tweeted about it yesterday. I’m glad I have something to mock because the news is slow even with Hogan going to TNA. Neither company seems to worried about putting out new merchandise even though a couple of new things have trickled out for both companies.

First off, we’ve got a completely silly name for the show but then again so does this article. At least I know I’m being stupid though. I do have to admit to being a surf music fan so I like the tunes that go along with his introduction. His verbal skills seem to be better than anything I remember him uttering on TV but the material is gawd awful. Shame-O’s is even a bad name by WWE standards. I don’t actually mind T-Reks as a nickname considering the number of ways sports announcers try to short athlete’s names. The biggest problem, obviously, is the 42 grams of Power Packed T-Reks Beat Down Coming Your Way. You haven’t been on TV for at least a month so no beat down is coming. T-Reks should try kissing John Cena’s ass since HHH’s ass is being spit shined by the Celtic Warrior who is intended for the beat down.

In this week’s video, T-Reks gets another minute to talk and again, I don’t think his delivery is the problem but it’s the material he’s being fed. The script didn’t match the visuals supplied. Reks mentions the “Complete and Utter Butthead” twice so I’d guess he wasn’t free lancing yet the book about Ryder simply said “How To Be A Butthead”. Is douchebag not allowed in the PG-13 world? The promo would have more bite to it with that change in words. I do find it quite humorous that Reks equates Zach’s ring jacket to women’s lingerie because it does look like it. I’m also glad that he came up for a name, trites, for those awful things Ryder wears in the ring. I get the douchebag vibe from Zach without those things.  Unfortunately for T-Reks the skit comes to a screeching halt because his pick up lines are no better than the fake phone call used by Ryder.

There was some positive in these skits and negatives. Anyone not getting ring time should be smart enough to ask management to get their own online segment because it catapulted Cryme Tyme and more prominently The Miz & John Morrison into stardom. Tyler Reks can work out the kinks of his delivery and character while not making a complete ass out of yourself on the much larger stage of WWE. - Kevin

The Glory Days of Survivor Series

Due to the fact that people don’t give a damn about Survivor Series 2009, I figured I would try to remind you all how great Survivor Series builds used to be.  I order you to enjoy these. How can you not when Hogan talks about Paul Bearer’s “mortuary face”.

Survivor Series ‘91 Report:

Flair and Razor Ramon hype up their match against Perfect and Savage at Survivor Series ‘92:

This may not be the best Survivor Series of all time, but dammit, I would watch this 1000ty times in a row before I bought this year’s. Survivor Series 1993 Report:

Stay tuned. I will be posting as many Survivor Series treasures as I can find. – Jordan

Stunt Granny Audio #65

The weather out there today is hot and shitty with continued hot and shitty in the afternoon. Tomorrow a chance of continued crappy with a pissy weather front coming down from the north. Basically, it's hotter than a snake's ass in a wagon rut.

Dusty and Kevin are back with us this week for a jaw dropping, rim rocking, death defying audio update. Is there big news to talk about? You better believe there is! Are there things to be grumpy about? You better believe they’re grumpy! Our two heroes talk about the big news of Hulk Hogan signing with TNA. They also talk about how Triple H and Sheamus are now BFFs 4 Life. They talk about Kofi Kingston, they talk about how most things in today’s wrestling landscape make no sense whatsoever, and they talk about a whole bunch of other stuff, too, so you need to listen to this audio or they’re going to reap your soul.

Stunt Granny Audio #65

Hulk Hogan Signs With TNA

I have no clue what this means for TNA, but I know I am excited! Does this mean Russo and Ferrara are out? Does this mean that Hogan’s Australia crew is in? Does this mean that a month from now, AJ Styles will not be the TNA Champion? (Yes, and thank god for that.)

While the speculation runs rampant, I do know that TNA was in serious need of some kind of change, and hiring the carniest carny that ever carnied is certainly a change from staying the course with the imbeciles they have running the ship right now. So I applaud them for at least recognizing that they needed to do something differently.

Maybe they can hire Tony Schiavone to declare that TNA is “cool again.” – Dusty

Hulk Hogan on Larry King Live (ugh), Jimmy Fallon (UGH)

So, are they playing Rock Paper Scissors, or are they arguing over what Hulk is gonna do to Brooke later?

Hulk Hogan is releasing a new book, brother, that is sure to be full of revelations about his and his family’s pathetic lives, dude. And not only has Hogan become a parody of a real celebrity, BRAH, he’s beginning to make the talk-show rounds, you stinky, nasty, wart-infested brothers! According to Prowrestling.net, Hogan will be on Larry King Live tonight at 9 EST/8 CST (wait, are we on standard or daylight right now? eh, fuck it), and you can bet grizzled ol’ Larry will really rake the Hulkster over the coals. Better yet, maybe King will fall ill and be replaced by Kermit the Frog again! Then the insufferable Jimmy Fallon will host the No. 1 Hulkamaniac on “Late Night with Dipshit McGee” on Thursday night. If you thought Fallon was awkward and unfunny already, what’s he gonna do when Hogan’s mannish daughter, slut wife and brain-dead family friend come up, dude?! Set your DVRs, people! -Eric