Final lineup for tonight’s TNA No Surrender

It wont be half as good as this.

It won't be half as good as this.

Can you feel the excitement in the air?! I can’t! It’s TNA No Surrender, and it’s one hour away! But my predictions are no minutes away. Here’s the final lineup, according to TNAWrestling.com, and totally not taking into consideration the possibility that Booker T might not make it since he lives in the current shitstorm that is Houston, Texas, and can’t exactly be flying all over the country:

MAIN EVENT FOR THE TNA WRESTLING WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP
FOUR WAYS TO GLORY MATCH:

Champion Samoa Joe vs. Booker T vs. Kurt Angle vs. Christian Cage

Thoughts: Who cares? No matter what, everyone will come out looking worse, and that goes double for Samoa Joe.

TNA WORLD TAG TEAM CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH

Beer Money, Inc. vs. The Latin American Xchange

Thoughts: Who cares? Beer Money fifty-percent sucks, and the other 50 percent might have suffered a concussion at last night’s house show, says the Wrestling Observer/Figure Four Online. And Shelly won’t wrestle me in my apartment. LAX are rad, though. They deserve better than Storm and Roode for opponents.

X DIVISION CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH

Champion “Maple Leaf Muscle” Petey Williams vs. Consequences Creed vs. Sheik Abdul Bashir

Thoughts: Who cares? I kinda like Consequences Creed, but his outfit is stupid, his Rough Cuts are running too long, and his work name is awful compared to his real name. Petey Williams is ten types of nothing-happening these days. Shaun Daivari is the man, but Abdul Bashir gets his ass kicked by referees.

MIXED MARTIAL ARTS MATCH
“The Phenomenal” AJ Styles vs. Frank Trigg

Thoughts: Who the fuck cares?

TAG TEAM MATCH
Abyss & Matt Morgan vs. Team 3D

Thoughts: Jesus Christ, who in the flying fucking world cares? At least this is addition by subtraction.

KNOCKOUT WOMEN’S CHAMPIONSHIP
Champion Taylor Wilde vs. Angelina Love of The Beautiful People

Thoughts: Hot chicks, lots of momentum, OK wrestling, and one woman with a roll-up as a finisher. A mixed bag, but I’ll probably be playing with my bag during this match.

LADDER OF LOVE MATCH
“Black Machismo” Jay Lethal vs. “The Guru” Sonjay Dutt

Thoughts: Who cares? Jay Lethal is now stuck with this awful gimmick (that I used to love, when I thought they’d show some restraint and cut it off before it was too late), Sonjay Dutt is just awful, and So Cal Val looks like her mom irons clothes with her face. End this shit now.

CHALLENGE MATCH
The Rock N’ Rave Infection (Lance Rock, Jimmy Rave and Christy Hemme) vs. The Prince Justice Brotherhood (Curry Man, Shark Boy & Super Eric)

Thoughts: Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fucking stupid. All of you, go kill yourselves.

FALLS COUNT ANYWHERE

ODB vs. Awesome Kong w/ Raisha Saeed

Thoughts: I wonder if ODB ever dumped that doofus who kept standing in the way of my camera while I was taping an indy show she was on?

OK, enjoy the show. I’ll have the car running and the garage all sealed up if you want to join me.

Yell at Eric by writing to eric@stuntgranny.com.

Jake Roberts At It Again

God damnit, Jake ‘The Snake” Roberts has fallen off the wagon again it appears. After a stint in a WWE provided rehab program Jake appeared at some indie show in Ohio and completely fell apart.

The video is shot with a cell phone so of course the quality sucks but you can get the point. He is nearly impossible to understand. He then no sells and gets pinned because not only is he fat and old, he is drunk or stoned. After the match he then gets verbally attacked by his opponent and then physically attacked by Jack Hanna in the ring.
 
The outside confrontation is noteworthy for the fact that the bunch of animals in the crowd can’t get enough of seeing Jake get berated by Jack Hannah and the wrestler he lost to outside the venue as well.  It really is sad that Jake has slipped once again it appears but at the same time who didn’t see this coming. -Jeremy

It Really Is The Age Of Orton

It's my time now.

It's my time now.

If the last two weeks haven’t made things perfectly clear, Vince McMahon is panicking and bringing back his top heel months earlier than he should. Randy Orton supposedly, even though there is no documentation of his accident, reinjured his shoulder and was supposed to be away an additional three months of time. Instead he shows up on Monday Night Raw two weeks later in a sling. The following week he is back, slingless, and getting involved physically.

The timing of Randy’s return is no coincidence as John Cena is down until at least next year’s Royal Rumble. Vince McMahon needed a top act for Raw. Yes, he has Batista and Shawn Michaels, but after those two, the star power is dim.

JBL has been a mainstay, but his return to active wrestling has been met with a tepid response. Chris Jericho is just now hitting his stride and is currently doing the best work of his career. Rey Mysterio has been oft injured, so relying on him has become difficult. Vince does have CM Punk to continue building for a top position, but right now his success hinges on a strong heel.

This is where Randy Orton comes in. Continue reading

Smackdown Your Taste

I looked on both the Pro Wrestling Torch and Prowresling.net but I didn’t see mention of any special appearances by Batista so it appears as if Stunt Granny has it’s first exclusive.  I’ll admit up front that I’m an Iron Chef America junkie.  I was a huge fan of the Original Iron Chef also.  The show originally aired last Sunday, September 7th, but it always repeats Saturday night the next week.  Alton Brown, the host, doesn’t introduce the judges until after the first commercial break.  Lo and behold, Batista is one of the judges.  During his introduction, they mentioned that he was a big fan of the show.  Batista was dressed in a black pinstripe jacket with a black t-shirt underneath.  He presented himself fairly well especially considering that the secret ingredient for the show was snails.  Brown asked him if he liked them and he admitted that he didn’t eat them very much.  That was his only camera time before the judging.  During the judging, Batista wasn’t as knowledgable as the other judges but he also didn’t make a fool out of himself.  Both the challenger, Floyd Cardoz and Iron Chef Bobby Flay made sure to present him with larger meals.  His favorite dish of the evening was prepared by Bobby Flay because it was something he could easily identify, a snail pizza.  If you’re up on the East Coast, it airs again at 2 AM. – Kevin

I said the snail pizza was excellent.  Do you have a problem with that?

I said the snail pizza was excellent. Do you have a problem with that?

For any other culinary guest appearances, contact me at kevin@stuntgranny.com

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