The Art of Wrestling – Smackdown’s Men Part II

After doing some more viewing this past week, the men’s side will be a three part series.  I may break the women up by the individual since they all change close to weekly.  Let’s start this series with the King of Kings.

HHH – He always wears his most recently designed t-shirt to the ring.   HHH’s in ring garb starts with his white taped wrists with his right hand being covered.  He wears black elbow and knee pads.  His black boots have the HHH Iron Cross.  HHH sports black tights have a white thin lined iron cross that has a skull in the middle of a circle on both the front and back.  The HHH Iron Cross has been around for a while and is a decent design but the tights seem a little too cluttered with the skull in the middle.  If they separated the designs with one on the front and the other on the back.

The Big Show– Shockingly, he wears a single strap singlet that mimics Andre The Giant’s garb.  Even if it’s obvious, the parallels will always be there because of both athlete’s size so there is no reason to dodge the comparison.  It’s basic black which is nice and simple, just like this review.

Victor Kozlov– The “Moscow Mauler” has a basic look too.  He wears black boots, elbow and knee pads.  He also sports white trunks.  When a Russian character is portrayed, I’m always a little surprised that he isn’t wearing red with a yellow hammer and sicklelike Boris Zhukov or Nikolai Volkoff.  Because they taut him as Sambo champion, they could have given him a ring jacket called a kurtka, a belt and shorts and Sambo boots called sambovki.  Read more about Sambo and their attire here.  With Kozlov’s demeanor, his outfit works so I won’t argue with the fact that it is basic.

Shelton Benjamin– From the bottom up, he has gold on the front and back of his boots with black on the sides, soles and laces.  Shelton has gold tights with a white design with black trim on the left hip and a black design with white trim on the right hip.  The bottom of the short leg has a thin black and white band that overlines the word “Gold” in black letters on the right thigh and “Standard” on the left thigh.  He also has black knee pads and elbow pads.  The “Gold Standard” lives up to his nickname with his outfit.  If they’d only let him grow out that poorly dyed hair, he’d look even better.

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Finally something to say about Jeff Hardy

WHEEEEEE! I wanna get on the fly-fly!

"WHEEEEEE! I wanna go on the fly-fly!"

According to Dave Meltzer’s report on Wrestling Observer/Figure Four Weekly… well here, let me just put it in a blockquote:

Southwest Airlines reported that Jeff Hardy was not allowed to board yesterday’s flight from Nashville after Tuesday night’s tapings, back to Raleigh, because he was intoxicated.

Southwest Airlines spokesperson Chris Mainz reported that Hardy appeared intoxicated and an airlines employee reported it and he was not allowed on the flight.

The Nashville Tennessean web site reported that Hardy was cooperative when asked to leave. Hardy was not arrested, nor was a police report filed on the incident according to Nashville airport security police. Hardy was allowed to wait it out and take a later flight home.

We’ve triple-checked our sources and realize there’s nothing much to talk about here. Jeff Hardy didn’t go cartwheeling off the wagon, tumbling down Snake River Canyon and causing his family to lose three days on the Oregon Trail. There will be no tombstone that reads “HERE LIES JEFF FUCK SHIT HAHA” the next time someone loads the game. OK, he, like many other wrestlers, has a disposition for intoxicating substances, and while we all wish he was “clean” 24 hours a day, that’s just not an option. But if an airline and/or airport security — which is more anal about this stuff than three of Jeremy’s ex-girlfriends combined — didn’t think it was a big enough deal to do more than ask him to wait a little while before boarding another flight, no one else should worry their pretty little water noggin, either. -Eric

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