See! We told you! (Win a date with Salinas on eBay)

Were not the kind of guys to say we told you so, but we... told you so! HAHAHAHA!

We're not the kind of guys to say we told you so, but we... told you so! HAHAHAHA!

Alright, kids, start sending your UNICEF pennies to me: Shelly Martinez, aka Salinas, aka Ariel, aka Jeremy’s boo, has put herself up for bid on eBay:

Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls … Have we got a very, very special auction for you! Up for your bidding pleasure is a chance to sit down, eat great food, talk and enjoy an afternoon/evening with one of the hottest ladies in professional wrestling … Shelly Martinez! This is a once in a lifetime opportunity deal! You don’t want to miss out on this one…

This auction includes lunch/dinner with Shelly at the world famous Mr Chow restaurant in Beverly Hills, California. Art, celebrity and superb cuisine all blend together in this internationally renowned restaurant under the direction of Michael Chow. The MR CHOW in Beverly Hills very quickly became a hangout spot, and exhibition space for some of the biggest stars in Hollywood’s Cafe Society. (more information about this historical restaurant can be found at http://www.mrchow.com/therestaurants/beverlyhills/)

I’m Mr. Chow, that’s my name, that name again is Mr. Chow…

And just to be sure everyone is clear, they reprint this important information:

This offer cannot be transferred into any other offer. (SG Note: I’m assuming this is directed toward us and means if we win, we can’t make a sexual offer. Nuts.) If date and time has been scheduled and winning bidder does not arrive, you cannot receive any type of refund.

Winning bidder will get the following:
– Lunch/Dinner with Shelly Martinez (date & time to be determined by both parties)
– Your photo with Shelly, which she will autograph for you!

She needs to autograph my crank and chow down on my balls. She is so hot… but doggone it, there’s just something in me that won’t allow me add to the THIRTY-EIGHT OTHER BIDS which have gotten up to $12,800. I mean for fuck’s sake, people. She’s not even gonna sexify you. She made that abundantly clear when we offered to pay for an apartment wrestling match with her: Shelly Martinez’s services are not up for sale! Oh… -Eric

P.S. To fully get my “up for bids” reference, check out my band Hold For Swank’s song “Does She Realize?” available on iTunes now!

GLOW Coming Back For No Reason

So Much Sexy

So Much Sexy

In yet another piece of evidence that American media has no original ideas left, PWInsider has some news up about possible resurgence of G.L.O.W. You remember G.L.O.W. right? It was the promotion that was in heavy syndication in the 80’s and featured random women “wrestling.” They wrestled somewhere and they called it Las Vegas even though there was no actual proof of wrestling being done other than climbing in the ring and flopping around like an epileptic wiener dog.

If this comes to fruition this could set back women’s wrestling all the way back to 1950 again. No women’s wrestling is not setting television ratings records but having a promotion centered around women wrestling poorly on a national showcase could be incredibly damaging to the small inroads made by TNA’s Knockout division. I am begging, yes begging, Jason Deadrich and Dave Prazak to do whatever is necessary to get their legitimate promotions, ChickFight and Shimmer, a national TV deal with a large amount of market saturation. Please, just a legit television deal so that people can be exposed to actual wrestling with actual wrestlers. If that sounds snobby then tough shit. Jeremy

Jeff Peterson Memorial Cup to raise money for child

2004 + 4 = 2008

2004 + 4 = 2008

Hmmm, maybe getting e-mails from that goon Shannon Rose isn’t such a bad deal, if it means we can tell you about this:

In November, 2002 independent wrestling phenomenon Jeff Peterson lost his long battle with cancer. May 16-17, 2003 saw the beginning of the Jeff Peterson Memorial Cup, a sixteen competitor tournament in honor of the fallen star. Each year since the event has grown to international levels. Previous winners of this prestigious tournament are “Reckless Youth” Tom Carter, Justice, Chris Sabin, Milano Collection AT and Chris Hero. If you have never seen it in person or purchased a DVD of the event we highly recommend this year is the year you become a part of the Jeff Peterson Memorial Cup.

This years Jeff Peterson Memorial Cup will be a fundraiser with ALL proceeds going to little boy named Devin Deschaine. Devin is a 2 yr old Port Richey boy with stage 4 Neuroblastoma. His form of Cancer is one of the most rare, & aggressive pediatric cancers. Only about 600 kids in the USA will be diagnosed with Neuroblastoma each year. About 70% of them will NOT survive. Devin is very close to our hearts & there is no other option for him but to SURVIVE. He’s a born fighter. He was a little fighter long before he was diagnosed. Neuroblastoma shouldn’t be any different. He just needs a little help with this fight.

The Jeff Peterson Memorial Cup in conjunction with the Tammie Hamaoui Foundation, Pro Wrestling Riot, World Wrestling Network & Floridawrestlingfans.com will be running this year’s tournament as fundraiser for Devin & his mom. She is single & needs help getting the bills paid during his treatment. Not to mention that he has a few procedures coming up that his insurance won’t cover. This family needs our help!

Friday, September 26, 2008
The New Lakes in Regency Park Civic Center
8330 Civic Drive – Port Richey, FL 34668
Doors Open 7:00 PM – Bell Time 8:00 PM

First Round Matches:

Erick Stevens vs. Chris Jones
Jigsaw vs. Kenny King
Sal Rinauro
vs. Chris Gray
Larry Sweeney
vs. Tommy Taylor
Jaison Moore vs. Rhett Titus
Nooie Lee vs. Brad Attitude
Gran Akuma vs. Craig Classic
Jon Davis vs. CJ O’Doyle

Also Featuring:
“The Marquee” Bruce Santee versus Kory Chavis w/ “Hardcore Giant” Ron Niemi
Dogmatika (Sideshow and Dany Only) vs. Francisco Ciatso & Shawn Osbourne w/ “Hardcore Giant” Ron Niemi

Saturday, September 27, 2008
Brooksville National Guard Armory
16386 Springhill Drive – Brooksville, FL 34604
Doors Open 7:00 PM – Bell Time 8:00 PM

Featuring the 2nd Round, Semi-Finals and Finals of the Jeff Peterson Memorial Cup 2008!

PLUS:
Tag Team Gauntlet: The Loggers versus The Heartbreak Express versus The Lifeguards
War Games Style Match: Bruce Santee, Sideshow, Sedrick Strong, and Black Market versus 911 Incorporated of Kory Chavis, Shawn Osborne, Francisco Ciatso, Mike Shane, and Ron Niemi

Two Night VIP Package (Limited Availability) – $50
Includes: Ringside Admission, Two Night VIP Meet & Greet & A Limited Addition 2008 JPC Poster

Two Night General Admission
Adults $25 and Kids 13 and under $15
Single Night Ringside $20
Single Night General Admission: Adults $15 and Kids 13 and under $10

For more information call 813-960-8412
To purchase tickets or to make donations go to: http://www.jpc2008.com

Damn, Stunt Granny is full of good news today. It’s like we’re doing all of this charity ourselves!

Dawn Marie helping raise something in my pants

This post was really just an excuse to post this picture.

Let's be honest: This post was really just an excuse to use this picture.

According to the Wrestling Observer/Figure Four Online, former ECW and WWE star Dawn Marie is asking for help for Hurricane Ike victims sweet jesus she’s a hot piece of ace…

–Dawn Marie is trying to raise supplies for Hurricane Ike victims in Houston.  She is asking people to send food, toothpaste, toiletry items, and towels to Torrie Wilson and Nick Mitchell, who will distribute them to the community, by sending to Wilson at 9595 Six Pines Dr., The Woodlands, TX  77380.  Make sure to donate with your name and mention it is for Wrestlers Rescue.

My friends Merz, Otto, Brad and myself got front-row tickets to an ECW on TNN TV taping in May 2000 in St. Paul, Minn. Dawn Marie was at ringside, and the camera caught me blatantly staring at her hot ass and making lewd comments to Merz. My girlfriend at the time (and current skank) saw me and wondered what I was doing, so I told her I was laughing at a comment Merz — who is by far the most religious person I know — made about Dawn’s sweet, sweet can. And you know what? I would trade in the two years I spent with that piece of filth for one more look at Dawn’s sweet, sweet can. -Eric

The Art of Wrestling – Smackdown’s Men Part II

After doing some more viewing this past week, the men’s side will be a three part series.  I may break the women up by the individual since they all change close to weekly.  Let’s start this series with the King of Kings.

HHH – He always wears his most recently designed t-shirt to the ring.   HHH’s in ring garb starts with his white taped wrists with his right hand being covered.  He wears black elbow and knee pads.  His black boots have the HHH Iron Cross.  HHH sports black tights have a white thin lined iron cross that has a skull in the middle of a circle on both the front and back.  The HHH Iron Cross has been around for a while and is a decent design but the tights seem a little too cluttered with the skull in the middle.  If they separated the designs with one on the front and the other on the back.

The Big Show– Shockingly, he wears a single strap singlet that mimics Andre The Giant’s garb.  Even if it’s obvious, the parallels will always be there because of both athlete’s size so there is no reason to dodge the comparison.  It’s basic black which is nice and simple, just like this review.

Victor Kozlov– The “Moscow Mauler” has a basic look too.  He wears black boots, elbow and knee pads.  He also sports white trunks.  When a Russian character is portrayed, I’m always a little surprised that he isn’t wearing red with a yellow hammer and sicklelike Boris Zhukov or Nikolai Volkoff.  Because they taut him as Sambo champion, they could have given him a ring jacket called a kurtka, a belt and shorts and Sambo boots called sambovki.  Read more about Sambo and their attire here.  With Kozlov’s demeanor, his outfit works so I won’t argue with the fact that it is basic.

Shelton Benjamin– From the bottom up, he has gold on the front and back of his boots with black on the sides, soles and laces.  Shelton has gold tights with a white design with black trim on the left hip and a black design with white trim on the right hip.  The bottom of the short leg has a thin black and white band that overlines the word “Gold” in black letters on the right thigh and “Standard” on the left thigh.  He also has black knee pads and elbow pads.  The “Gold Standard” lives up to his nickname with his outfit.  If they’d only let him grow out that poorly dyed hair, he’d look even better.

Continue reading

Finally something to say about Jeff Hardy

WHEEEEEE! I wanna get on the fly-fly!

"WHEEEEEE! I wanna go on the fly-fly!"

According to Dave Meltzer’s report on Wrestling Observer/Figure Four Weekly… well here, let me just put it in a blockquote:

Southwest Airlines reported that Jeff Hardy was not allowed to board yesterday’s flight from Nashville after Tuesday night’s tapings, back to Raleigh, because he was intoxicated.

Southwest Airlines spokesperson Chris Mainz reported that Hardy appeared intoxicated and an airlines employee reported it and he was not allowed on the flight.

The Nashville Tennessean web site reported that Hardy was cooperative when asked to leave. Hardy was not arrested, nor was a police report filed on the incident according to Nashville airport security police. Hardy was allowed to wait it out and take a later flight home.

We’ve triple-checked our sources and realize there’s nothing much to talk about here. Jeff Hardy didn’t go cartwheeling off the wagon, tumbling down Snake River Canyon and causing his family to lose three days on the Oregon Trail. There will be no tombstone that reads “HERE LIES JEFF FUCK SHIT HAHA” the next time someone loads the game. OK, he, like many other wrestlers, has a disposition for intoxicating substances, and while we all wish he was “clean” 24 hours a day, that’s just not an option. But if an airline and/or airport security — which is more anal about this stuff than three of Jeremy’s ex-girlfriends combined — didn’t think it was a big enough deal to do more than ask him to wait a little while before boarding another flight, no one else should worry their pretty little water noggin, either. -Eric

Daizee Haze Killer Promo Alert

The New ROH Video Wire has a really well done promo by Daizee Haze around the three-minute mark. Being the resident women’s wrestling guy, this is pretty much what women can bring to the table when not in the ring. Daizee speaks with a lot of passion and seemingly genuine emotion and the entire thing clicks very well. Sure she may repeat herself a bit but when given a real opportunity she absolutely killed. Maybe I am just a sucker and enjoyed that a woman was featured in a prominent role with her clothes on for a change.   Hopefully this isn’t pushed to the side and ROH continues to give their women athletes a stronger role in the company other than just eye candy. Not that there is anything wrong with making a living like that. But then….nevermind, We like women here at Stunt Granny, isn’t it obvious?

Too bad it is wasted on Rhett Titus but oh well you can’t have everything.

One other note, the crowd absolutely sucks for the in ring segments. They only got up for the Briscoes and for Steen and Generico flipping off the top rope. You could hear a homeless guy yelling for a break at one point and he was outside. Can anyone else guess where this took place? If you said Cleveland you would be right. Wait, a bad crowd in Cleveland? No fucking way! -Jeremy

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