The Art of Wrestling – ECW and Smackdown Update

As I mentioned in the Audio, I found out this week that I will no longer be able to watch Smackdown because I was under the assumption from some crawlers that my UPN/WB/Whatever was going to change to My Network TV but no dice.  So after I get through the Diva’s Division for the next month or so, I’ll be sticking to Raw, ECW and TNA.  For this week though, you get an update on both Smackdown’s and ECW’s men.

Brian Kendrick – Not long after throwing down my analysis of his first awful outfit, Kendrick got another one at the last pay per view, Unforgiven.  To the ring he now wears a black leather jacket with white lapels.  On the lower left lapel, neon green feathers run horrizontally at even spacing while there is a solid patch on the upper lapel.  The entire right lapel has multicolored metallic studs.  On the right, there is a gold strap from the lapel to the shoulder where it meets a round shoulder pad with tassles much like an old Naval uniform.

As for his new tights, the base is white with three red claw marks with black trim on the front.  The sides have matching designs while the rear has a black square with rounded off corners that contains a white silhouette of a person on the left with a red heart on the right.  Kendrick wears white boots with black soles.  The boots extend up to meet his white knee pads.  I just don’t get the outfit and think it’s horrendous.  He touts himself as beign smarter than everyone else but he isn’t smart enough to make a coherent design.  The tights and jacket are too cluttered and asymmetrical.  You can make an asymmetrical design that makes sense but it’s not easy.  I’m going to move on before I vomit on my monitor.

Say old chap, do I have to hear a rear admiral joke everytime we have a formal function?

Say old chap, do I have to hear a rear admiral joke everytime we have a formal function?

Bam Neely – Bam only got a minor upgrade.  Instead of being another one of the completely black brigade, they put three white stripes on the shin portion of the boot and one diagonal strap across his foot.

Ryan Braddock – He sometimes strays from the all black look by wearing rust colored tights that still has the angler fish like design on the back.

I really liked Finding Nemo so I put an Angler Fish on my trunks.

I really liked Finding Nemo so I put an Angler Fish on my trunks.

The Miz – He started wearing a new fedora that is grey with the a sparkling yin and yang on the front.  Below it is a mat black band with white rectangular jewels evenly spaced with ropes bordering it at the top and bottom.  On back back side of the hat, the band in interrupted my “The Miz” and flames that also sparkles.  I liked the previous versions of the fedora he wore.  As usual, things got over designed and it’s a clustermess.

The Miz also wore a new pair of clam diggers to the ring.  They were a charcoal grey with copper flames on the bottom.  In the flame was a black patch that had eyes in copper under which is either the white word “Beware” or “The Miz”.  On the left leg, “Beware” was on the front while “The Miz” was on the back.  It was the opposite order on the right leg.  On both hips there was a silver design.  At the top was a black belt with a silver belt buckle and loops.  It seems I forgot to mention the last time around that he wears black knee pads and boots.  The Miz also wears MMA type gloves that are black.  He cut back his wrist band quota from three on each arm to two.  I think these are the best shorts that the Miz has worn yet because the cluster has been cut back some and the contrast in colors is greater.

See clam diggers are still cool.  Rafael Nadal wears them.

See clam diggers are still cool. Rafael Nadal wears them.

 John Morrison – The Shaman of Sexy changed up his outfit in and out of the ring.  In the ring, he was wearing long white pants that ended above his ankles with a black band that had round silver studs.  Below the band was white fur covering his boots which are black.  Working back up the pant leg, Morrison has a vertical silver design with a black outline that has horns at the top and bottom along with three horizontal lines with diamonds at the end.  Each diamond has a round silver stud in the middle of it.  The design was on the shin and thigh along with on the back of his leg centered on the back of the knee.  His back pockets were black with a smaller silver design that only had on vertical and two horizontal lines with diamond heads and the round silver studs in the middle of them.  The Shaman went simpler and it defintely pays off.  White black and silver are a nice combination of colors and the design is simplified so that it reads clearly.

To the ring, John was sporting a new robe that was patchy white fur with a multihued silver lining where there is no fur.  The cuffs of each arm were such an area.  All of these areas also had round silver studs on them.  It matches the new pants but it doesn’t look as good because of the patchiness of the fur.

I wish Swagger's outfit weren't as bland as my mother-in-law's apple pie.

I wish Swagger's outfit weren't as bland as my mother-in-law's apple pie.

Jack Swagger – The All American American has moved on from the all black brigade too but introducing a light grey to the top of his trunks that is straight on the front, arcs down to a point at his hips and then arcs back up in the rear to become flat again.  The change doesn’t do a whole lot for Mr. Swagger but they really could have picked a color that had a little more contrast and didn’t look so dirty. – Kevin

That’s it for another week in fashion in the WWE.  If you want to get a look at my snazzy new bowler hat, contact me at kevin@stuntgranny.com

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