Lose Some Weight Flatso!

Over at ProWrestling.net they some news about WWE telling Manu he needs to lose some weight. Never mind all of the other fat guys on the roster they decided to target this Samoan guy right off the bat. Has anyone looked at Big Shows waist lately? He is back to his old BIG self and no one is whispering a word to that guy. Instead, the guy who has a genetic resistance to being skinny is singled out and told he is fat. Nice move, here we have a Little Big Show on our hands and they are preventing him from fulfilling natural his born role. How else are we going to have that dream angle of Boogeyman placing a curse on Big Show and as he rolls under the ring an incredibly shorter version rolls out the other side? How else is JR going to yell “I don’t believe what I just saw.” -Jeremy

The Art of Wrestling – HHHalloWWEen

The next target of my mocking in the world of wrestling is Hunter Hearst Helmsley.  The King of Kings has quite a little collection with his HalloWWEen package.  I already went thru my thoughts on the WWE Title Belt so I’ll leave it alone.

The first item in the package is the Triple H Iron Cross pendant.  I’ve wondered for quite a while where HHH’s obsession with a Prussian turned German military decoration started.  Considering that his real last name Levesque is French for Bishop confuses the matter even more in my book.  His family may be from near the French and German border.  I seem to be getting away from the critique of the pendant though.  The wings are completely unnecessary and don’t match anything on the other items sold in the package and causes clutter on a pendant that is only 1 1/2″x1 1/2″. If the wings were removed, the skull could move down allowing “Triple” to not be so crowded on what I assume to be a sun or moon.  The “H” on the skull looks disproportionately large to the skull itself.  I hope any children that plan to wear this outfit decide to leave the pendant at home before asking for treats.

The Triple H Skull/Crown Baseball hat is up next and is a little more tolerable.  I like the skull design because it incorporates the Iron Cross into the crown and the skull itself reminds me a bit of the Ring Wraiths or Nazgul from Lord of the Rings.  The minor problem with the design is that it goes down onto the bill of the hat.  Unless someone is taller than you, people will never see this portion of the design.  On the back is the Latin phrase “Genibus nitito Canis” which is a poorly constructed way of saying “Bow down on your knees, dog!”  So now, the WWE and HHH have decided to throw an Italian language into the mix instead of using a the German phrase.   “Beugen Sie sich auf Ihren Knieen, Hund” is the German version which really wouldn’t fit on the back of the hat well, so I suppose they want us to think about the original German Moncarchs from the Holy Roman Empire.

HHH would be mucher cooler if he spit his water bottle onto the Witch King's flaming sword.

HHH would be mucher cooler if he spit his water bottle onto the Witch King's flaming sword.

 The third piece of gear coming out of this package is the Triple H Bandanna Mask.  I’m confused by the description because there aren’t any cut outs to use this bandanna as a mask.  It’s black with a white king skull which doesn’t make any sense since the rest of his gear is grey or silver.  As stated above though, the king skull design is fairly sharp so this item is a minor thumbs up.

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