Adam Pearce spreads power like cream cheese

Oh, uh, what, Mom? You want me to come inside? Sorry guys, I gotta go home, gimme my basketball...

"Oh, uh, what, Mom? You want me to come inside? Sorry guys, I gotta go home, gimme my basketball..." (totally borrowed from http://www.onlineworldofwrestling.com)

Are you fucking kidding me? PWInsider.com is reporting that…

New Ring of Honor booker Adam Pearce informed the locker room over the last 24 hours that he would be curtailing his responsibilities when it came to being on the road and in dealing directly with talent due to outside responsibilities with his family and other obligations.

Moving forward, Pearce will still be booking but will not be attending ROH’s Friday night events. He will fly in from the West Coast and help with the Saturday events. On events Pearce is not backstage for, Austin Aries (who has gained considerable power under the new regime) will be running the ROH locker room.

Larry Sweeney has also been tapped as something of a liason between the wrestlers and Pearce in an effort to cut back some of Pearce’s time management. In the past, wrestlers would email or call Pearce directly with concerns and suggestions. Now, they will go to Sweeney, who will then report to Pearce. The change is made to take some of the workload off of Pearce’s shoulders.

What fucking workload? You book a wrestling company that runs *at most* five shows a month. What, is that gonna cut into your self-challenges to eat whole barrels of Sam’s Club cheese puffs in 6 hours? Do you need to keep your phone line free so your three-times-a-day Papa John’s orders go uninterrupted? “Hey, sorry Austin, my aunt’s cat is getting spayed, I’m not gonna be able to make it to Dayton. *click* Mmmm, delicious pickle wraps…” -Eric

WWE releases Gene Snitsky, something that rhymes with “uterus”

Frrfrff... well, I guess looking back, hindsight being 20/20 such as it is... maybe it was my fault.

Frrfrff... well, I guess looking back, hindsight being 20/20 such as it is... maybe it was my fault.

WWE.com just announced the release of Gene Snitsky. Here, read this:

World Wrestling Entertainment has come to terms on the release of Raw Superstar Gene Snitsky as of today, December 11. WWE wishes Gene the best in all future endeavors.

Eh, whatever. He was a limited big man, and he was just fucking gross. I’m surprised he wasn’t released the week WWE announced it was going hi-def. Seriously, you could see through what unclogged pores he had all the way into his black soul. But now there’s room on the roster for his OVW brother Mike Mondo. There, just had to name-drop that guy for Dusty’s sake. Oh, favorite Snitsky memory: When Heidenreich was about to wrestle Undertaker in a casket match at probably Royal Rumble 2005 or something, he was acting all scared and stuff, right? So Snitsky comes in, they stand nose-to-nose breathing heavily (like they did at Survivor Series two months earlier in another funny moment — “I like your poetry”/”I like what you do to babies”) and Snitsky says, “Don’t worry, I have a plan.” Heidenreich’s immediate response without hearing the plan says, “Yeah, that sounds good.” So does Snitsky’s release. Goodbye. -Eric

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