Christian Cage Missing!

christian_cage_aka_captain_charisma

Yep, you read that right; Christian Cage is missing from TNA’s superstar page. I can’t take credit for this of course since I discovered it over at ProWrestling.net. If it hasn’t become clear by now to everyone that Christian is gone from TNA and WWE bound, well, I am at a loss for words to comment on your stupidity. There is no chance TNA is clever enough to play around with this and actually play with its fans and turn it into a giant angle. Instead we can all anticipate a Christian appearance, hopefully, at The Royal Rumble interfering in Jeff Hardy’s championship match. -Jeremy

One Slap, SALAD!

Ok, so this has nothing to do with wrestling and Eric will inevitably take this down and scold me but this has to be seen by as many people as possible. This is the greatest invention I have ever seen and really, why wouldn’t I trust this guy and buy at least forty-five of these? Vince ShamWow or whatever his last name is a tremendous pitchman and would make a fine addition to TNA or at the very least ROH as a manager. No one can like this guy so he would make a wonderful heel manager for the likes of, well, anyone in ROH. He would be especially useful as a manger for Abyss in TNA. Imagine Abyss gets tossed through a stained glass window in the next Hallowed ground barbwire exploding pulpit match. As he slumps in a pool of his own sweat and blood, Vince comes over with the ShamWow and magically he stops bleeding. He then hands Abyss a Slap Chop and Abyss dices up his opponents forehead enabling him to hit the blackhole slam for the victory. Consider it a modern day cheese grater to the forehead and also a reason to watch an actual Abyss match. -Jeremy

Now This Is More Like It

Thank god I received this in my e-mail. Colin Vassallo of Wrestling-Online.com, included a link to some pics from the latest Flex magazine of Beth Phoenix, Layla and Candice Michelle. I have to say this is the hottest Beth Phoenix has ever looked and I now officially place her on top of the wrestler I want to violate list. She bumped off Batista but really he did himself in after he dumped Kelly Kelly.  I didn’t care to ay attention to the photographer but whoever you are, kudos. You managed to take Candace Michelle and make her spectacular. This is the hottest she has ever looked and that includes all of the movies and layouts of her nude. How is it possible a woman looks better with clothes on than naked? It is against the law of probability I am sure.

Layla , who has come a long way from her “mom” days as Dusty and I coined. But really, the star of the photos is my new boo Beth Phoenix. I find it disgusting she looks that good and all I can do is violate 8×11 glossy photos of her. -Jeremy

This Is Fucking Gross

This is just gross (repeated for effect). WWE.com has pictures up of Vickie Guererro nude on its family oriented web-site. Now I don’t give a shit if a child sees porn but this, this is where I draw the line. Seeing Scott Hall’s stillborn twin in the nude is damaging to everyone. Why WWE thinks this is a good idea is beyond me. Why not have Jim Ross in a thong ladling the remnants of a bukakee film over Chavo Guererro’s hair plugs forever enshrined in film? Pretty sure that would give me a raging hard on before this crap.

Oh wonderful, WWE realized their mistake and pulled them down but at least we have this one to remind us why we chopped off our dicks and stuffed them in our eyes. -Jeremy

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