The Art of Wrestling – Coverleaf Mick Punk

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Luck is for losers

The WWE is advertising early for Saint Patrick’s Day and I don’t miss a chance to exploit a holiday and turn it into an article about something merchandise related.  My inbox got an offer for a discounted CM Punk Clover Baseball Cap which is old, but I haven’t covered it so I’m going to take a whack at it.  I was hoping to find a reason and a picture of his shamrock tattoo (if you’re desperate, go to this link and look at photo 138 on his left arm), but the best I can come up with is his Wikipedia entry

A sleeve tattoo on his left arm that reads “luck is for losers” and features numerous good luck symbols, including a rabbit’s foot, four-leaf clover and a horseshoe.

Punk’s real name is Phillip Brooks for those not in the know.  From my research, the shamrock isn’t an homage to an Irish ancestry since Brooks is an English surname.  So the tattoo must be all about “luck is for losers.”  Which makes me wonder how the WWE decided to pick that particular piece of the tattoo onto the front of the hat.  The bigger mystery is why the WWE decided to change the popular shamrock from green (picture 138 again) to blue.  That change seems especially strange to me in light of the fact that they’re using orange lettering which fits in nicely with the Irish flag.  The WWE also decided to use different lettering instead of Punk’s Gothic script that is on his stomach.  The light cream front quarter panel would be fine on it’s own but it doesn’t make much sense since the highlights in the banner with the lettering is white.  Choose cream or white and go with it designers.  I do like the idea of having the main panel a different color than the other three but again, the color choices are baffling.  You have a dark blue shamrock, why are you going with black for the bill and three other panels of the hat?

We here at Stunt Granny are honorary members of the IDT.

We here at Stunt Granny are honorary members of the Irish Drinking Team.

The back of the hat is simplistic and highlights why the WWE should have stuck with white for the front quarter instead of cream.  The words “CM Punk” pop much better on a black background with white surrounding the lettering since they contrast so much.  The same could be established on the front panel if the shamrock was black instead of dark blue.

The WWE swung and missed hard with this hat even if it does have potential if they just tweeked the colors. – Kevin

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PWO – Season 2 – Episode 9

“Bloody” Morty Rackem came to the ring with Matthew Justice as Joe Dombrowski and Jamie Scott explained the trouble the two have been having problems.  “Omega” Aaron Draven was his opponent.  Rackem kicked Draven during a handshake.  Draven tossed Rackem outside with a head scissors and hit a moonsault onto the floor.  The action went back and forth until Draven was blocked attempting a top rope huracanrana.  Rackem used the ref as a shield.  He tried to cheat, Justice stopped him briefly but he used his belt to knock out Draven.  The referee woke when Rackem made the cover and he got the three count.

Analysis: They furthered the storyline of Justice and Rackem having problems.  The match was bad considering that these two are solid workers.

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Manu Sent Packing As Well.

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Is this even news? Manu was released by WWE today. There, that’s it. Just wanted to let everyone know. Should there be jokes following this? Maybe, but you can make your own.  See ya chubby. -Jeremy

Sonjay Dutt Breaks Outta Orlando

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According to PWInsider.com, Sonjay Dutt has joined Petey Williams on the list of recently departed TNA wrestlers. I was just thinking what the hell happened to this guy as I fast forwarded through Impact this week. Dutt leaving TNA is kind of surprise just as Petey Williams departure was. Not a surprise in the fact that they’ll be missed, since they won’t, but more so that they have nothing that WWE is looking for in their wrestlers. There is a chance that TNA and Dutt will work something out and really they should. Other than ROH and the independents his future in this country looks dim. Who in their right mind would hire a tiny, balding, acne backed man for any other purpose other than shooing him out of a cannon?

You know that isn’t fair, Dutt is a totally decent wrestler who was saddled with that stupid add Guru gimmick. He did his best with it but really, it is like making the best out of a bag of feces, lemons and tampons. Sure it sounds like a party but is it? -Jeremy

Colt Cabana Released. Leaves Shitty Name Behind

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I’d love to be completely snarky and rant about WWE being clueless but I am much too hung over for that right now and really, I am not convinced this is a bad thing. WWE released Scotty Goldman aka Colt Cabana Friday. We don’t know yet if he asked for his release or if WWE simply released him.  It doesn’t appear that this is another massive roster cut so it is feasible that he wanted out to pursue other options.
Colt though will definitely land on his feet, especially with two other promotions with some sort of television clearance. The obvious choice is to go back to ROH. They need a steady hand and with their upcoming television tapings he would pop the crowd huge and make for a special moment. It could be something worth promoting not just for ROH fans but for the “on the fencers” to make them seek out their show.

This is the obligatory section where it must be mentioned that TNA is also an option. This is also the part where I reiterate the sentiments of all of us at Stunt Granny and say I have no faith in anything TNA does. So if Colt wants the money feel free and sign with them. -Jeremy

The Art of Wrestling – Travis H

Travis H (go to the explanation here) shilled his new shirt last week on Smackdown before WWEshop promoted it and it’s already the top selling piece of merchandise on the site.  The King of Kings is certainly popular, no matter how much he reminded me of an enraged chimpanzee on Monday.  Travis H actually didn’t wear his new shirt on Monday.  You can’t directly link to each picture but you can go to this set of photos.  It does provide you a good still of what Travis looks like when he gets constipated.

Me Travis, me climb larger wrestlers and squash them like King Kong.

Me Travis, me climb larger wrestlers and squash them like King Kong.

I might have to stop complaining about shirts being too complicated because this is another example of them staying fairly simple especially in the color department because it’s just black and white.  The WWE has also done a good job of continuing the same imagery like the war hammers, iron cross and skulls on a pike.  I did notice that his crown is quite similar to the most memorable Holy Roman Emperor, Charlemagne.

The jewels were replaced with iron crosses.

The jewels were replaced with iron crosses.

I know Travis would like us to all think he’s really that ripped but the iron cross leather belt is helping to hide his marriage gut.  If he started to step over a pile of skulls, he’d blow out his quad again.  I railed against using the bill of a hat for part of the design (I can’t figure out which article I mentioned that in) since it mainly goes unseen.  On a t-shirt though, it works especially since the character’s arms are on the sleeves.

On the back, the design is a little funky since the iron cross and cloth that translates from the Latin “eversoris” to the English “Destroyer” are both centered on the back.  The skull on the pike and the pile of skulls are both on the right hand side of the shirt.  If they would have moved either to the left, it would have weighted the shirt better.

Obviously, from the sales already this shirt is a hit and I can’t really disagree with that assessment even if you wouldn’t catch me wearing it with a troupe of chimpanzees in Tanzania. – Kevin

Prepare Dicks For Beating.

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Boy that silly Jason Powell over at Prowrestling.net sure got me to click on this link. Yep, everyone’s favorite walking dead girl is set to appear in yet another home made porn flick. As if seeing two retarded people fucking wasn’t enough the first time around here’s the encore. I don’t get how the press release gets off saying that the first video with Waltman and Chyna even ranked on the charts. Sure it may have sold decent but no way was it a top seller. I say top fifteen at worst. But enough of that, the real news here is that we all get to see Chyna and her baby penis getting hogged by Waltman over and over again. Who doesn’t like watching tranny porn anyway? Man, I would have killed to see a video of this if it was around the time of her Playboy days. She was buff and Playboy airbrushed out all of the rest of her imperfections and made her seem genuinely feminine. Ahh, the good old days of cranking it out and not feeling totally gay afterwards, unlike how I felt after watching the first video. -Jeremy

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