Mr. Kennedy is totally not injured

I'm so glad the Rock isn't around anymore to make fun of my goofy facial expressions!

I'm so glad the Rock isn't around anymore to make fun of my goofy facial expressions!

Mr. Kennedy recently posted a video of himself on Facebook (which is where I go for all my news), and in said video he is shaking both wrists around with much gusto, like a kid out in the rain. This is to apparently dispel the rumors circulating online that he injured his wrist in that Lakers vs. Nuggets match on Monday Night Raw.

Here is the video, so you can judge for yourselves.

Of course, it should be noted that this does nothing to dispel the rumors that he is a complete chump who runs his mouth about steroids every chance he gets, and has done nothing to improve his work since his actually good feud against the Undertaker in 2006.

On the bright side, however, I bet someone from TNA saw this video and started rubbing their hands together vigorously, like Russell Huxtable preparing to play pinochle against his over-matched son. – Dusty

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WWE releases Mr. Kennedy, I release hearty laughter

PLEASE, give me another chance, PLEASE!

"PLEASE, give me another chance, PLEASE!"

We’re speechless: WWE announced today the release of Mr. Kennedy. Why was he released? Because as my headline a couple of days ago said, he sucks. I feel a blog bubbling up inside me… -Eric

Poll: Which show was better this week, Raw or iMPACT!?

You put that shit on TV, and *Im* the bad businessman??

"You put that shit on TV, and *I'm* the bad businessman??

I know Powell just did one of these on Dot Net, but since Impact just ended about 90 minutes ago, we’re doing one for this week. Raw sucked. Impact always sucks. The question for you fine people is, which show was better this week (May 25-29), WWE Monday Night Raw or TNA iMPACT!? Was the EEEEENOS Stanley Kroenke skit as captivating for you as Vince McMahon hoped it would be? Did Mick Foley’s promo have you climbing up the walls in anger (ONCE A YEAR? YOU SON OF A BITCH!) Let us know, and leave comments! (P.S. We will get a new audio up as soon as Jer stops trying so hard to get laid, Eric stops trying so hard to get in shape so he can get laid, and Kevin and Dusty hang up their respective spaghetti jackets.)

Haha, you suck, Mr. Kennedy

Looked like this wrist from my vantage point.

Yeah, I ripped that headline style off from What Would Tyler Durden Do, but it’s true. I thought I saw it happen, but Jason Powell at Prowrestling.net confirmed it: Mr. Kennedy injured his wrist during his return match on Raw last night, a 10-man tag featuring many wrestlers much higher on the card (and deservedly so, at this point) than Mr. “One of These Things is Not Like the Other” Kennedy.

Mr. Kennedy suffered a wrist injury during the 10-man tag match on Monday’s Raw. He rolled out of the ring after taking an RKO from Randy Orton and then clutched his wrist in pain. He winced when Jerry Lawler touched his wrist at ringside.

And here I was secretly (openly, on the PWTorch.com VIP Forum) hoping the tennis-shoed Batista would injure himself last night. I mean, that’s what big oafs do in multiple-man tags on Raw. But I’m not least damn bit surprised this dolt Kennedy hurt himself. He truly is the Ahmed Johnson of the post-Attitude era. -Eric

Video update: Not good quality, but check it out while it lasts. Happens late in the 3:30 clip.


TNA Adds Two More Washouts

Seriousluy? You are paying me?

Seriousluy? You are going to pay me?

 

So for those of you who watched TNA’s Sacrifice PPV last night you may be wondering just who is coming to Impact on Thursday. You know what I am talking about right? Jeremy Borash, he of the famed 1920’s bug eyed reaction shot face, teased us all and then told us to text TNA to find out just who the former world champions will be. It was an exclusive deal for all us who were watching the PPV last night. It sounded like a nice gesture, especially since we paid for the , well, wait a second, some paid for the PPV, and since that hard earned money was not going to be rewarded with their appearance on the show at least we would know before it got posted in message boards all over the internet.

Not being a total rube I just waited it out and much to my surprise TNA has pulled off a shocker in new signings. They have brought in my boo, Victoria, which has already been covered here. They are also bringing in Raven and Shane Douglas. Talk about shocking announcements.

Normally, and as I did just before this, I would rip a company for not giving the paying audience the first shot at seeing debuting people. In this case, they did a good job. Victoria would have been nice but the two duck farts that are returning on Impact didn’t even warrant the hype given for the text service.

Judgment should be reserved until we read the spoilers for the Impact tapings but it is increasingly difficult to believe anything good is going to come of this. Raven and Douglas are nowhere near household names. I guess Shane working in the household section of Target may be something but it isn’t going to help a company with a bloated roster of has beens and never wills. At least Victoria’s signing helps bring a veteran presence to the Knockouts. Raven and Douglas bring nothing. Sure Raven has “the business mind” but he sucks in the ring. He looked horrible in his last appearance and if history teaches us anything it is that wrestlers out of the spotlight come back looking atrocious. Are they going to market XXXXL Raven shirts to cover his gut? –Jeremy

Victoria TNA Bound?

wwe_diva_victoria

According to James Caldwell over at PWTorch.com via a whole slew of detective work, TNA has apparently signed my former flame Victoria. By former flame I mean my former masturbatory fantasy of course. Victoria left WWE earlier this year and claimed it was a retirement. Well, she retired from WWE apparently but not wrestling. Last I knew she was training for MMA fighting but you still gotta pay the bills somehow I suppose.

I like this move for Victoria and for the TNA Knockouts division. For TNA it gives the division a veteran presence now.  There was a creative lull for the division for a few months but the Kong/ Beautiful People feud has been rather good. On top of that there is the possibility that after the Kong/Love feud ends Victoria can immediately move in to the ring with Angelina Love. Just typing that sentence is giving me a chub. The idea of those two hard bodies rolling around on top of each other………see ya.  -Jeremy

May 23, 2009: 10th anniversary of Owen Hart’s death

I will be known from this day forward as The King of Harts!

"I will be known from this day forward as 'The King of Harts'!"

We miss you, Owen. SG readers, feel free to leave comments with your favorite Owen Hart moments. -Eric

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