Mr. Kennedy is totally not injured

I'm so glad the Rock isn't around anymore to make fun of my goofy facial expressions!

I'm so glad the Rock isn't around anymore to make fun of my goofy facial expressions!

Mr. Kennedy recently posted a video of himself on Facebook (which is where I go for all my news), and in said video he is shaking both wrists around with much gusto, like a kid out in the rain. This is to apparently dispel the rumors circulating online that he injured his wrist in that Lakers vs. Nuggets match on Monday Night Raw.

Here is the video, so you can judge for yourselves.

Of course, it should be noted that this does nothing to dispel the rumors that he is a complete chump who runs his mouth about steroids every chance he gets, and has done nothing to improve his work since his actually good feud against the Undertaker in 2006.

On the bright side, however, I bet someone from TNA saw this video and started rubbing their hands together vigorously, like Russell Huxtable preparing to play pinochle against his over-matched son. – Dusty

WWE releases Mr. Kennedy, I release hearty laughter

PLEASE, give me another chance, PLEASE!

"PLEASE, give me another chance, PLEASE!"

We’re speechless: WWE announced today the release of Mr. Kennedy. Why was he released? Because as my headline a couple of days ago said, he sucks. I feel a blog bubbling up inside me… -Eric

Poll: Which show was better this week, Raw or iMPACT!?

You put that shit on TV, and *Im* the bad businessman??

"You put that shit on TV, and *I'm* the bad businessman??

I know Powell just did one of these on Dot Net, but since Impact just ended about 90 minutes ago, we’re doing one for this week. Raw sucked. Impact always sucks. The question for you fine people is, which show was better this week (May 25-29), WWE Monday Night Raw or TNA iMPACT!? Was the EEEEENOS Stanley Kroenke skit as captivating for you as Vince McMahon hoped it would be? Did Mick Foley’s promo have you climbing up the walls in anger (ONCE A YEAR? YOU SON OF A BITCH!) Let us know, and leave comments! (P.S. We will get a new audio up as soon as Jer stops trying so hard to get laid, Eric stops trying so hard to get in shape so he can get laid, and Kevin and Dusty hang up their respective spaghetti jackets.)

Haha, you suck, Mr. Kennedy

Looked like this wrist from my vantage point.

Yeah, I ripped that headline style off from What Would Tyler Durden Do, but it’s true. I thought I saw it happen, but Jason Powell at Prowrestling.net confirmed it: Mr. Kennedy injured his wrist during his return match on Raw last night, a 10-man tag featuring many wrestlers much higher on the card (and deservedly so, at this point) than Mr. “One of These Things is Not Like the Other” Kennedy.

Mr. Kennedy suffered a wrist injury during the 10-man tag match on Monday’s Raw. He rolled out of the ring after taking an RKO from Randy Orton and then clutched his wrist in pain. He winced when Jerry Lawler touched his wrist at ringside.

And here I was secretly (openly, on the PWTorch.com VIP Forum) hoping the tennis-shoed Batista would injure himself last night. I mean, that’s what big oafs do in multiple-man tags on Raw. But I’m not least damn bit surprised this dolt Kennedy hurt himself. He truly is the Ahmed Johnson of the post-Attitude era. -Eric

Video update: Not good quality, but check it out while it lasts. Happens late in the 3:30 clip.


TNA Adds Two More Washouts

Seriousluy? You are paying me?

Seriousluy? You are going to pay me?

 

So for those of you who watched TNA’s Sacrifice PPV last night you may be wondering just who is coming to Impact on Thursday. You know what I am talking about right? Jeremy Borash, he of the famed 1920’s bug eyed reaction shot face, teased us all and then told us to text TNA to find out just who the former world champions will be. It was an exclusive deal for all us who were watching the PPV last night. It sounded like a nice gesture, especially since we paid for the , well, wait a second, some paid for the PPV, and since that hard earned money was not going to be rewarded with their appearance on the show at least we would know before it got posted in message boards all over the internet.

Not being a total rube I just waited it out and much to my surprise TNA has pulled off a shocker in new signings. They have brought in my boo, Victoria, which has already been covered here. They are also bringing in Raven and Shane Douglas. Talk about shocking announcements.

Normally, and as I did just before this, I would rip a company for not giving the paying audience the first shot at seeing debuting people. In this case, they did a good job. Victoria would have been nice but the two duck farts that are returning on Impact didn’t even warrant the hype given for the text service.

Judgment should be reserved until we read the spoilers for the Impact tapings but it is increasingly difficult to believe anything good is going to come of this. Raven and Douglas are nowhere near household names. I guess Shane working in the household section of Target may be something but it isn’t going to help a company with a bloated roster of has beens and never wills. At least Victoria’s signing helps bring a veteran presence to the Knockouts. Raven and Douglas bring nothing. Sure Raven has “the business mind” but he sucks in the ring. He looked horrible in his last appearance and if history teaches us anything it is that wrestlers out of the spotlight come back looking atrocious. Are they going to market XXXXL Raven shirts to cover his gut? –Jeremy

Victoria TNA Bound?

wwe_diva_victoria

According to James Caldwell over at PWTorch.com via a whole slew of detective work, TNA has apparently signed my former flame Victoria. By former flame I mean my former masturbatory fantasy of course. Victoria left WWE earlier this year and claimed it was a retirement. Well, she retired from WWE apparently but not wrestling. Last I knew she was training for MMA fighting but you still gotta pay the bills somehow I suppose.

I like this move for Victoria and for the TNA Knockouts division. For TNA it gives the division a veteran presence now.  There was a creative lull for the division for a few months but the Kong/ Beautiful People feud has been rather good. On top of that there is the possibility that after the Kong/Love feud ends Victoria can immediately move in to the ring with Angelina Love. Just typing that sentence is giving me a chub. The idea of those two hard bodies rolling around on top of each other………see ya.  -Jeremy

May 23, 2009: 10th anniversary of Owen Hart’s death

I will be known from this day forward as The King of Harts!

"I will be known from this day forward as 'The King of Harts'!"

We miss you, Owen. SG readers, feel free to leave comments with your favorite Owen Hart moments. -Eric

TNA is a joke, tries to leech off WWE/NBA snafu

Would you all be acting this way had WWE just held Raw out here?

Would you all be acting this way had WWE just held Raw out here?

I don’t think I technically used “snafu” correctly (it’s Army-talk for “Situation Normal: All Fucked Up,” and the Pepsi Arena thing was all fucked up, so it might not be that wrong), but I didn’t want to use Jason Powell’s/Dot Net’s word, “debacle”. I truly think so little of TNA, the little engine that can’t, that I will spend the first full sentence of this post explaining what “snafu” means and relating it to WWE. Anyway, according that Prowrestling.net post I linked above, TNA is trying to pander to Colorado fans by giving a discount on upcoming TNA shows to not-at-all-WWE’s-fault-that-they’re-disgruntled WWE ticketholders…

“It was sad to see the WWE pull out of all their scheduled shows in Colorado recently because of the scheduling conflict with the NBA playoffs. I want everyone in Colorado to know that TNA Wrestling is coming and we hope to see you at our first shows ever in your state. For WWE fans that paid for any of these cancelled events, we are offering you $10 off the purchase of tickets to come see us and enjoy the best fan experience in pro wrestling.”

Fuck you, you filthy c-unit. You and Stan Kroenke both. You’ve tried to turn this around on Vince, which is typical of a couple of women like yourselves. (OOOH, did I just go there??) WWE’s hands were tied and, whether or not you agree with them moving all three CO shows to Los Angeles, they did what they felt they had to do because of the Pepsi Arena management’s poor planning skills. End of story. That is, until IWA-MS offers $2.18 off any $5 ticket in Colorado to fans who bring their ticket to Raw and a handy light tube. -Eric

Stunt Granny Audio #44

wwe_raw
Yup you guessed it; Stunt Granny Audio is back and Jeremy and Kevin talk exclusively about the drama with this week’s Monday Night Raw. The guys go over both sides of the coin and discover that Jeremy’s healthy disdain of the NBA is in full effect. They both bitch about the scheduling of not just the NBA playoffs but that of the NHL as well. They then discuss the merits of Coachman and Neil Everett and why Coachman was granted the McMahon interview. Like I said, they cover all the bases and it’s a good listen so get to downloading.

Stunt Granny Audio Show #44

WWE Raw moved from Denver to Los Angeles next week

Shoulda just watched from home, kid.

Shoulda just watched from home, kid.

According to the Orlando Sentinel, next week’s WWE Monday Night Raw has a new home: the Staples Center in Los Angeles. That’s funny, the L.A. Lakers are playing the Denver Nuggets at the Pepsi Center in Denver, the arena WWE was unceremoniously kicked out of. Says the article:

The Staples Center actually called Vince McMahon and said that the building was available for the show and they would be more than happy to accommodate the WWE that night.

You saw in the post/link below (and in 30 years of business) how vindictive Vince McMahon is; let’s see what kind of shit storm Vince & Co. intend to lay on the Nuggets and Pepsi Center management when they’re in the home of WrestleMania 21 and your friendly neighborhood rapist/title whore Kobe Bryant. -Eric

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