SG Poll: Which n00b made the best debut on ECW?

Tonight’s ECW featured the debut of four new and undoubtedly, undeniably future SUPERSTARS (ugh) in Yoshi Tatsu, Abraham Washington (you know what I’m sayin’), Sheamus and Tyler Reks (dude, that’s how it was spelled in FCW, dude). The poll is simple: Which man made the best debut? Just base your vote on what he did, but feel free to leave comments discussing your opinions on each guy, his future potential, his upside and shortcomings, etc.

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WWE roster moves: Who benefits, which ones were dumb?

Ah, these were the good ol days.

Ah, these were the good ol' days.

WWE just announced a BLOCKBUSTER (read: stupid, unnecessary) shake-up of each of its three rosters. Fifteen wrestlers, five from each brand, just finished a game of musical chairs or, in some cases, musical pink slips. Let’s see how the moves stack up, for the wrestlers, for the brands and for the fans.

MOVES TO RAW

Evan Bourne: Hard to argue with an exciting newcomer the company likes moving to the flagship show. Bourne spent a little time on Raw last year feuding with Mike Knox; look at how far each of them has come (*shed tear for Knox*). It’s not out of the realm of possibility, though, that Bourne will get lost in the shuffle. Who can he feud with? Miz? A face feud with Kofi Kingston? A lateral pass, feuding with Jack Swagger? He still gets a bigger audience to perform for, so that’s cool.

Jack Swagger: Same goes for Swagger: Small fish with a push moving to a big pond. I’ve said it a million times, but there are still certain aspects of his character and entire package that just don’t go well together: big, smiling doofus promoting his all-American status coming to the ring to Rage Against the Machine knock-off music, for instance. He’s a good wrestler and a good character, though, who could have stood a little more pickling in ECW. Possible feuds with MVP and… fuck, I don’t know, Kofi again, might not be shabby.

Gail Kim: The recently returned Kim vs. Beth Phoenix or Maryse has a lot more appeal than Kim vs. Michelle McTaker. Looks good to me.

Alicia Fox: Who truly fucking cares?

Mark Henry: Given the re-debut he made Monday night (decisively beating WWE Champion Randy Orton) and the response he received from the crowd (favorable for the first time in years), WWE must have big things in mind for this 13-year veteran. That’s fine, he’s earned it. He’s still not the best wrestler they have, but he’s much, much better than he’s ever been, and it looks like he’s shed that awful Tony Atlas, so he can talk for himself and sink or swim on his own. Let’s see what happens.

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PWO – Season 2 – Episode 13

This picture is as connected to the PWO as one of their segments.

This picture is as connected to the PWO as one of their segments.

Super Hentai took on Morty Rackem, with Matthew Justice.  Hentai and Rackem countered easy moves from each other. Hentai clotheslined Rackem outside then hit a sling shot cross body on the floor. Rackem executed a swinging neck breaker. Rackem tried to hit a top rope suplex but was thrown off. Hentai missed a top rope cross body. Rackem hit a DDT but didn’t get a three count. Rackem distracted the referee by throwing a chair in the ring. He tried to use his belt but it was taken away by Matthew Justice. Hentai then executed a Northern Lights Suplex for the win. Rackem attacked Hentai with the belt when Justice made the save.

Analysis: Good match. Dombrowski, flying solo, advanced Hentai’s obsession with Johnny Gargano and the rift between Justice and Rackem. The later of the feuds needs to move along further because it’s been treading water for too long.

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WWE’s The Bash review audio

His god damn foot was under the ropes?

His god damn foot was under the ropes?

All right folks, we got an audio up in a timely fashion. That’s right; Stunt Granny presents the WWE’s The Bash 2009 Audio review. We actually got this accomplished as soon as the show ended so all of our thoughts are unfiltered, totally not thought out and probably down right incorrect but it’s all good. Join Kevin, Eric Jeremy and junior member Jordan as they discuss all of the good, not so good and down right bad of The Bash. They discuss the Rey Mysterio / Chris Jericho match and how it fared up against CM Punk and Jeff hardy for the match of the night. They rightfully take the main event between Orton and Triple H to task for being a plodding borefest. They even manage to talk about Samoa Joe and the Main Event Mafia as well as the whereabouts of one Mr. Dusty Giebink. It’s a riproarious good time so check it out won’t ya?

Stunt Granny Audio- WWE The Bash 2009 Review

Balls Mahoney loses tooth (wait for it……)

Somewhere, a dentist is jerking off into a piggy bank.

Yikes. Somewhere, a dentist is jerking off into a piggy bank.

… This is only news because there are so few Balls Mahoney teeth in existence. It’s like if someone shot a black rhino. (News courtesy Prowrestling.net) -Eric

Lilian Garcia leaving, WWE looks for new bullseye

Mushmouth? Maybe. Smoke-dog? Shit yeah.

Mushmouth? Maybe. Smoke-dog? Shit yeah.

WWE’s company dartboard (TM my friend Scotto) Lilian Garcia announced on her website that she is leaving WWE when her contract expires.

The truth of the matter is that they are looking for someone new because I have given them my notice that I will be leaving at the end of my contract this year.  It is with a heavy heart that I have made this decision because WWE has been my family from day one and you, the WWE Universe have always been incredible to me.  The fact is that I am getting married later this year and have decided to enter into a new phase of my life…

If nothing else, she is pretty attractive, and she made her on-air debut in Ames, Iowa, at a Monday Night Raw I attended (the infamous “Blonde Bitch Project” episode and the one where Triple H beat Mankind for the WWF Title). So she’s got the Iowa thing going for her. I keep telling you people this state is full of wrestling history. And although you can hear a vast improvement in her delivery since that August 1999 show, she’s still prone to mistakes, even calling Kofi Kingston the “Intercontinental Champion” a couple of weeks ago. Oh well, WWE will find some other bangable chick who can belt out passable renditions of “The Star Spangled Banner,” attribute the wrong belt to the wrong person and take 33 minutes to explain the rules of a 30-minute ironman match until her biological clock grinds to a stop. QUIERO VIVIR!!! -Eric

WWE’s The Bash 2009 Preview Audio

bash

Yes you are seeing this right; Stunt Granny is back with a preview of WWE’s The Bash. Kevin and Jeremy go over the event match by match, well unless we didn’t care about it, for WWE’s latest PPV. They cover the possibility of Rey Mysterio keeping his mask and how it is not as much of a foregone conclusion as you may think. They talk about the matches they look forward to the most and just what match they can totally do without. It’s all very interesting so you should check it out. So do it now before the PPV starts.

Stunt Granny Audio- WWE’s The Bash 2009 Preview

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