Slammiversary Blogging

They're passed out right now.

They're passed out right now.

I’m not expecting anyone to stick with me for the duration of this pay per view but no one else is on instant messenger, my dogs are passed out and I just fueled up on some fantastic Chinese from Pacific Eatery so what the hell. I’m not going to try and go move by move

Jeremy would be having a conniption because of the mass involvement of the Detroit Tigers. I don’t care how many times it’s said because it needs to be said again, the rules for the “King of The Mountain” matches are just stupid. They had a couple of nice high spots so far which is TNA’s calling card. The seesaw move with Lethal, Creed and Suicide was pretty cool. I wonder if TNA has ever had one of these matches in which a fighter didn’t have a chance to hang the belt. Somehow I doubt it which makes that part of the stipulation pretty dumb. Lethal acted way too gassed after gettig out of the penalty box. Nice Sliced Bread by Shelley on Creed. Glad to know that Vince McMahon isn’t the only moron who has the hometown favorites lose.  A win by Shelley or Sabin would have gotten the Palace rocking and set the tone for the rest of the night.  Good match though if you like high spots.  Suicide’s ladder walk on Lethal’s back took too long but that happens on a regular basis.

I did forget to mention that I didn’t watch iMPACT! this week because of a UFC marathon on Saturday morning.

Shane Douglas makes me embarrassed that he wears black and gold all the time because he’s from Pittsburgh.  You’re sullying the colors that have had a great year this year. Lauren needs to buy new facial expressions other than disgusted.

At least Douglas is keeping his shirt on tonight so he doesn’t show off that farmer’s tan he has. Don West just said the “experience” made Shane Douglas take advantage of a damaged elbow on Daniels. No, any moron should know to pick on any injury. That was the ass kicking that it should have been. Daniels is an in shape guy who has been wrestling. It makes no sense to have this match on the pay per view though because it proved nothing.

Pointless Mick Foley interview. Thanks TNA.

I needed to up the hot quotient of this blog.

I needed to up the hot quotient of this blog.

Why did TNA give Lisa Marie Varon an awful name like Tara? Why not stick with her real name if you’re going to go that plain? I hope beer makes the remainder of the pay per view more watchable. At least this match has a very high hotness content. It’ll actually probably be the best match of the night. OK match that ended with interference which must be a first for TNA in that they waited until the thrid match of the card to include interference.

Why isn’t JB interviewing Stevie Richards and crew? Raven still knows how to talk but it’s all just a way to make sure Abyss doesn’t learn how to wrestle.

A mixed tag team Monster’s Ball Match sounds awful. I started drinking way too late. I’ve gotten this far along with saying how awful Mike Tenay and Don West are. I’m amazing and they suck. Don West would be better if Mike Tenay didn’t turn into a whining ninny when he goes heel on his ass. West shouldn’t ever cave on his heeldom but he does left and right. I hope Daffney is OK after completely nailing the back of her head on the stairs. I don’t have any old tapes of ECW but I liked the garbage matches back then. I wonder now if more wrestling was involved. It’d be great to watch some of that stuff now. I’m not sure why Dr. Stevie hasn’t been in this match the whole time. Abyss kicked out of the Even Flow way too easy. We can all pray that this is the last match that involves Abyss and Dr. Stevie’s faction. Somehow I doubt it though. Yuck.

I don’t even need to watch this next match but I will. What a stupid stipulation. Sting isn’t going to lose his spot in the Mafia. That’d be plain stupid. Being TNA, they can’t concentrate on the match the whole time so they talked about Team 3D arriving from Japan because of their match the nigth before in Osaka. Couldn’t Team 3D given them (or management) their flight number so that they’d know when they’d be in? Sting couldn’t pull of the Scorpion Death Drop from the Hellovator. Morgan did a good job of covering for him by pinning him. Sting wins with a second rope Scorpion Death Drop. He did seem to change his offense because of the size of his opponent. That was a nice little touch. A bit of a pointless match again though because you knew who was winning. You know what, no interference again. TNA is on a roll tonight.

Team 3D against Beer Money should be pretty good. The “Get The Tables” spot took way too long. TNA keeps touting their “Tag Team Division” but they really only have 3 teams, 3D, Beer Money and the British Invasion. The Motor City Machine Guns and Lethal Consequensces wrestle separately too often and were teaming with each other for no good reason the last couple of weeks. Shockingly the match ends with interference from the British Invasion. I’m not sure who Beer Money will take on unless they go with a three team story line for the belts.

Everyone in the main event has had a promo tonight even if I haven’t mentioned it. I usually got out of my seat because it’s uncomfortable so I didn’t type much in between some of the matches. It was kind of lame that AJ and Joe had their interview at the same time but they had their own separate time with that time limit. I haven’t looked at the wrestling news, except what Jeremy posted, so I wonder if Taz(z) will finally show up. That’d be a nice surprise. Kurt Angle is wearing a Sidney Crosby jersey. That’s fabulous but it should be a Malkin jersey. The whiner label probably gets them a little more wound up though. JB even mentions the jersey during Angle’s promo.  I missed them putting an Osgood jersey on Samoa Joe. They put Samoa Joe in the penalty box for starting the match before the ring of the bell and make Kurt Angle eligible to hang the belt. What a weird random thing to do by the refs. I decided to watch the main event while talking to my dad, whoops almost for got Father’s Day, but the finish is the only thing that will stick in my mind. Why is Samoa Joe working with the Main Event Mafia? It does explain the shortness of the First Blood matches a coyuple of weeks ago. It doesn’t make a lick of sense unless Taz(z) isn’t going to be the advisor anymore. Angle as champ just sets up more friction with Sting which I really don’t feel like watching on TV any more.

The pay per view was passable if not actually decent if you can forget the mind bending booking that TNA employs. Thanks for reading. Time to watch some Criminal Intent. – Kevin

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