Kurt Angle = Unending Source of Amusement

This is what I looked like as a pill head. The residue of the pills are now fucking with my head. Thanks to wrestledeals.com.

My head was actually much larger. I mean look at the size of my frontal lobe. Hmmmmm. Thanks to wrestledeals.com.

Thanks to the ceaseless reporting of Prowrestling.net we were handed an outstanding interview by Kurt Angle on Filmsinreview.com. I’ll start at the top of this interview and mock n’ roll to the bottom.

“Hopefully, I will have the same success that Dwayne Johnson has had these past few years. I can picture myself doing that.”

My lord is this piece of white trash unbelievably insane. You suck as “The Godfather” because you come up with weak lines about roses instead of people sleeping with the fishes or horse heads and you’ve already sucked in one movie. Sure, you might improve the more you act but the track record for wrestlers turned movie stars starts and ends with Dwayne Johnson. At least he admitted as much but he’s delusional for thinking he’ll be the second person to do it.

“I really enjoyed doing the film (Chains) even though I did not like the character that I played. It was a lot of fun to step outside myself, and be that ignorant person for that week.”

You are ignorant person, pal. It wasn’t just a one week stint for you. Read the first quote I listed from you and you’ll realize how ignorant you are.

“I knew I had to make a choice. I knew being in the WWE, the money was there, the movies were there with WWE Films, but I wanted to go outside the circle, the realm of WWE, and spring out on my own. When you are with WWE, you are under the WWE umbrella.”

Fucking ass clown, he just made sense. Does that mean I’m going to stop mocking him?  Hell no.

“If I were to compare it, the character is a lot like Dolph Lundgren’s when he played the Russian in ROCKY IV which really jump-started his career.”

If by jump start, you mean started having Dolph star in Z grade movies for the remainder of his entire career, then you are correct. Come on, his best parts were He-Man or the Punisher.

“I have always enjoyed playing the baby-face role, but for some reason I always get cast back to the heel role…I prefer the heel. I like the heel character.”

You just contradicted yourself within two paragraphs. How hard is it to keep straight what you prefer? Well, you did switch from liking women to men so maybe you’re a flip flopper like any good politician.

“It’s time for me to give back to the younger generation…We had to make the Main Event Mafia before we could start making guys. We are still trying to make the Main Event Mafia, before we turn it around.”

Still making the Main Event Mafia? You guys have been around the block more than a hooker. The Main Event Mafia has been around for a solid year. What is there to make?  On top of that you all have your problems. Kevin Nash just turned 50 and won’t ever put over Samoa Joe now because he’s in the Main Event Mafia. Booker T has had more accents than meaningful matches since he got to TNA. Scott Steiner can’t even get a new shirt. Sting has looked like a dope his whole career and you just made him a dope for the millionth time over after Slammiversary by getting Joe in the Main Event Mafia behind his back. I already mentioned your lack of verbal skills and your in ring skills are deteriotating as quickly than your mental faculties. Your collective bunch couldn’t put a sack of potatoes over right now. Thank goodness that’s the last stupid thing Angle said in the interview. -Kevin

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