UPDATE: Kurt Angle’s lawyer says white trash is innocent

Should have gotten a ride from this guy.

Should have gotten a ride from this guy.

WPXI in Pittsburgh posted an update on the Kurt Angle fiasco on its Web site. Here are a couple of snippets worth examining:

“According to the criminal complaint, his girlfriend had filed a protection from abuse order against him, which was served at Angle’s home Saturday morning.”

“Angle’s attorney, Michael Santicola, also said that there was no corroborating evidence to prove the woman needed a protection from abuse order.”

Hey, lawyer, it really doesn’t matter if someone proves she “needed” the order, SHE WAS GIVEN THE ORDER! So I’m pretty sure by following Rhaka Khan to Starbucks, he was violating an order that was already served. Unless…

“Santicola said there’s no way Angle could have known the woman was at the Starbucks where he is accused of violating the P.F.A.”

Yes, there is a way. In fact, there are many ways. “I’m going to Starbucks”… “Hey, she usually goes to Starbucks”… “What are all of these Starbucks cups doing piling up here?” I know the lawyer is just doing the job he’s paid for, but he sounds like an idiot. As Dusty speculated in our super secret conversation, maybe this Santicola character is just Santino Marella in a wig pretending to be a lawyer. -Eric

TNA Hard Justice Preview

Watch your back bitch.

Watch your back bitch.

Just in time for tonight’s show, Kevin and Jeremy come at ya with a complete rundown of TNA’s Hard Justice PPV. They guys go over each match in detail (sarcasm) and give their respective predictions. Who thinks Samoa Joe will win the TNA Heavyweight title? Who thinks Traci Brooks has a say in the Knockouts Title match? Who thinks a certain wrestler may like it in an uncomfortable place? Someone thinks Matt Morgan isn’t worth the proverbial hill of beans? Who said it and what other outlandish and ridiculous things were said? All you have to do is listen to find out.

Hard Justice 2009 Preview

Stunt Granny Audio #54

Dude, dont open your eyes yet, wrestling isnt worth watching now.

"Dude, don't open your eyes yet, wrestling isn't worth watching."

Dusty and Jordan combine forces to talk about the big news item of the day: Kurt Angle proving his white trashiness by being arrested for stalking, public intox and possession of HGH… all at 8 o’clock in the fucking morning! The two discuss Angle’s current problems, his less-current problems, his past problems, and his really past problems. They wonder what will become of the TNA Hard Justice main event, including who should (and scarily who might) walk away with the TNA World Title. This segues into a discussion of wrestling’s desperate need for change, among other rants usually reserved for old curmudgeons (“Why, back in my day…”). So check it out!

Stunt Granny Audio #54

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