Ben Roethlisberger Guest Hosting Next Week’s Raw

Don't front.

Don't front.

According to every single place ever on the internet, including sites that haven’t been updated since 1996, Big Ben Roethlisberger will be the guest host next week for Monday Night Raw, as it comes at you live from the Wachovia Center in beatiful, scenic, rustic, historic Wilkes-Barre, Pennsylvania. That’s right, my double main, the starting QB on my fantasy football team, coming at you in stunning high definition on Monday Night’s premier wrestling extravaganza!

There’s only one small problem. The quarterback is apparently going to be taking his offensive linemen with him, and according to left tackle Max Starks, no one bothered to tell to any of the coaching staff that they would be there. Now, the Steelers play on Sunday, have a team meeting on Monday, and have off on Tuesday, so it’s not really that big of a deal, but you know all the talking heads and football announcers are going to have a field day with it, so I hope Ben is prepared for that.

And, real quick, what is it with people whenever something wrestling related comes up in the news? Like, you just know if Big Ben takes a hit on Sunday, some announcer dumbass is going to say that the guy PILEDROVE HIM down to the grass or whatever. And then the other guy will laugh for like an hour and a half at it, and then they’ll joke about how wrestling is probably fake har har, and then I’ll stab myself and die in a puddle of my own vomit. – Dusty

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Matt Morgan Has ADHD

This is a day for good pub for TNA, it looks like, because I have nothing bad or sarcastic to say in this post either. In the above video, Matt Morgan talks about his dealing with ADHD. As sappy as this sounds, something like this can really make him a role model for children growing up with ADHD. There are much worse people to look up to, in this day and age, than a seven foot butt kicking wrestler.

There was a nicely written article about Matt Morgan and ADHD that you can read here: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/michael-b-laskoff/matt-morgan-youre-my-hero_b_192340.html. For more information about ADHD, go here: www.chadd.org. – Dusty

Samoa Joe Tweets for Tsunami Help‎

A serious picture for a serious post.

A serious picture for a serious post.

On the opposite side of the human being spectrum is Samoa Joe, who has used his Twitter page to ask people to help donate for tsunami relief:

Please give to help in Samoa’s recovery. Please I implore you to help… If you’re American be rest assured you are helping fellow Americans.

Joe went on to write that his family is accounted for, but the amount of damage is staggering. The body count is now in the hundreds. This is a tremendous example of someone using their celebrity for a good cause. I applaud Samoa Joe in his efforts. If you wish to contribute to this cause, go to american.redcross.org for more information. – Dusty

Matt Hardy is a whining bitch

What an absolute chump.

What an absolute chump.

From this Twitter page:

I’m exhausted from being punished because of someone else’s sins.

So Matt Hardy thinks he is being held back because of what happened with his brother. This is yet another sad day for personal responsibility. I would posit that perhaps, just perhaps now, Matt Hardy is being punished for being a goofy redneck who recently gained a bunch of weight, cannot talk to save his life, and has modest in-ring skills at best.

But instead of taking responsibility for being the complete and utter liability and waste of roster space that he is, he’d rather blame it on what has happened with Jeff recently. What a miserable excuse for a human being. – Dusty

YouTube Wrestling Treasures #3: Jim Cornette

In honor of Jim’s escape from the line-crossingest place on Earth, I felt people should see some wonderful and “wonderful” clips of Mama Cornette’s baby boy.

Jim awkwardly makes his Memphis debut

Jim gets caked by the Fantastics in 1988

The infamous Dairy Queen video from 1994

I could post about 5,976 more wonderful James E. clips but I thought this was a nice sampler. – Jordan

ROH Is Watchable Again!

General Cornette commands you to watch good wrestling!

General Cornette commands you to watch good wrestling!

That breath of fresh air you all just collectively breathed in was a direct result of what is coming to us from prowrestling.net from their live report of Saturday night’s ROH show. That being, Jim Cornette is back as the “executive producer” of ROH.

Cornette was quoted as saying, “Sarah Palin will give Barack Obama a lap dance on the  steps of the capital before I get behind Vince Russo,” and had some truthful things to say about the Hornswoggle and Cody Deaner characters as well. He reiterated what he said on his Who’s Slamming Who interview, which I posted this past week in case you haven’t listened to it yet, that he was let go from TNA because he could never be 100 percent behind Vince Russo’s creative direction.

Cornette ran an angle on the show with Austin Aries, with Aries interrupting Cornette’s speech and getting all up in his grill. Cornette said Aries has been weaseling out of facing tough competition and said if he had anything to say about it, Aries would be facing much harder opponents from here on out.

This is great news for ROH, and great news for professional wrestling. As I’ve stated before, TNA doesn’t appear to be a serious wrestling company at this point, after the laughable decision to head up their creative team with Vince Russo and Ed Ferrara. And WWE is never going to promote a serious wrestling product. WWE needs competition in order to stay interesting, and here’s hoping that with Cornette in a prominent position with the company, ROH can once again be that alternative. – Dusty

Stunt Granny Audio #60

Godzilla and King Kong really knew how to rampage

Godzilla and King Kong really knew how to rampage

Dusty and Kevin take a spin on the turn tables this week. We talked on a couple of “old” topics that are keeping our interest, Jim Cornette & Bret Hart, a new star that could be created and his Vince McMahon-esque ex-employer,  Quinton “Rampage” Jackson & Dana White, then finally meander our way into talking about some of the problems on Raw with the lone highlight coming from a now replaced Diva and end on a positive note yapping about the quality of ECW.

Stunt Granny Audio Show #60

Eric’s blog: A look at WWE’s ill-balanced rosters: ECW

A) Unbelievable that I found a picture of Tommy Dreamer wearing a T-shirt. B) Holy shit, is that Monty Brown? He needs to come back from the Serengeti.

A) Unbelievable that I found a picture of Tommy Dreamer wearing a T-shirt. B) Holy shit, is that Monty Brown? He needs to come back from the Serengeti.

Finally, it’s time to take a look at the roster of WWE ECW, the red-headed (no offense, Sheamus) stepchild (no offense, Sheamus) of World Wrestling Entertainment. While no longer your daddy’s ECW, Brand No. 3 has turned into a proving ground for new talent (CM Punk, John Morrison, Jack I Love You Swagger) and a place for cast-offs (Christian, William Regal) to ply their trades with a little angle behind them. ECW’s is a small roster, making this a short read (plus they seem to do a lot of even-steven booking; see Burchill, Paul v. Cane, Hurri), and this will probably be the blog entry that doesn’t rank the wrestlers by tier but rather “in order.” But hey, it’s my chance to rank the useless, vapid Bella Twins all the way at the bottom!

(1) Christian: He’s the champ and he wins a lot. He gets the mic and can talk a lot. He still probably won’t headline pay-per-views anytime soon, but after his few-year hiatus, he won the ECW Championship, which means he gets to be on pay-per-views, which means exposure and bonuses. It’s nice to see WWE likes him, they really like him!

(2) William Regal: He’s still being positioned as a/the top contender for the ECW Championship, whether or not Zach Ryder won that battle royal. He gets to talk quite a bit, and he has an entourage. That’s more than the rest of the roster gets. Plus, like Finlay, he’s an old-timer who wrestles tight, which it seems Vince McMahon appreciates.

(3) Sheamus: This big, red blue-chipper is in the same spot Jack Swagger was before being moved to a more prominent brand: getting a push with wins over veterans and talking on occasion. And he deserves it, as he was probably the best prospect in Florida Championship Wrestling at the time he was called up. With his size, good skill, unique look and weird charisma, he could be a big player down the road.

(4) Hurricane Helms: Blecch. He gets that stupid extended entrance, he gets all sorts of face time, and he gets to beat people. God, I hate this fat turd.

(5) Zach Ryder: It seemed for a while that for every win Zach Ryder got over Tyler Reks, he’d lose a match to Goldust or the like. But he kept wrestling on TV, and we all kept deciding we liked him and his ridiculous Guido gimmick. Well, he won a battle royal to face Christian for the title, so that was cool! He’s a goofy fucker with a funny but memorable catchphrase, but Matt Striker is right when he says on commentary that Ryder can be aggressive at times. Which would explain why Ryder got a gimmick and Curt Hawkins is sitting at home not answering his phone.

(6) Goldust: I think Dustin Rhodes is the man — I know he can wrestle and I know he can talk — but it does pain me a little bit to put this 21-year veteran higher on the list than Shelton Benjamin. But that’s Benjamin’s fault.

(7) Ezekiel Jackson/Vladimir Kozlov: I’ll lump these two together because, even though they have distinct looks and personalities, they’re essentially the same person right now. I feel like almost all of the wrestlers above these two would be given wins, even if flukes, against these two, but the wrestlers below them would be less likely to see victory against Regal’s roundtable.

(8) Shelton Benjamin: I love ya, man, but potential don’t pay the bills.

(9) Tommy Dreamer: Probably the best spot for him, someone who can be seen standing next to Christian and not look stupid but who should be putting over younger guys. It’s hard to imagine him beating Zeke or Vlad, but not as hard picturing him pinning Paul Burchill.

(10) Paul Burchill: Poor bastard, stuck trying to unmask the Hurricane. He’s not a great, dynamic wrestler or anything, but he’s serviceable.

(11) Yoshi Tatsu: Has victories over wrestlers higher than him on this list, but he’s still a newbie and has a long way to go. But people who know him better from FCW than I do insist that he could be something big down the road.

(12) Tyler Reks: Turd.

(13) DJ Gabriel: Who?

(14) The women, the least of which being the awful Bella Twins.

The Architecture of Wrestling – Ring My Bell

Overview of the Bell Centre in Montreal

You couldn't create a little more space between you and the giant glass tower?

The WWE’s last pay per view Breaking Point took place at the Bell Centre in Montreal, Quebec, Canada.  It was finished being built in 1996 (more information on the history here).  I noted how old Joe Louis Arena is but this one was designed and built after HOK started making stadiums and arenas well designed structures. Bell Centre was actually designed by the Consortium of Quebec Architects, which obviously is not one specific firm and I couldn’t find confirmation on who was in the group.

Same elevation, different perspective

Same elevation, different perspective

On to the building design which is the important part. The above photos show the northwest side of the building (Google map here) although the lower photo does show the southwest face too.  They have used three different materials – brick, block and glass – but what is strange to me is the use of two different type of stone, one of which is a beige color and the other which is more gray. The beige block matches the block from St. George’s Anglican Church which is  so I would think that they would stick with it rather than having two different types. The beige stone along with the brick and glass also matches some of the other buildings around the area.  I’d suggest using the “More” tab on the map to click around the area’s pictures. The gray stone continues to make little sense after leafing through the photos. The glass could be lighter and still be opaque so that it would match the surrounding area more but the contrast in colors that it creates helps offset that problem.

The stone tower, with the Centre Bell sign, along with brick with the small slats help to create a vertical feel visually which terminates with the beige stone. On top of the stone is the black (maybe a dark blue) glass which continues the horizontal banding which carries around the northwest face to the soutwest. The banding helps to make the building flow. Normally, stone or brick is built up in a staggered formation (called stretcher bond) but the beige stone is a stacked bond, which lines it up so that the joints are linear. The stack helps to emphasize the verticality of the tower and also the horizontal nature of the stone above the brick and glass corner. To the left of the tower is a combination of gray stone and glass. It also does a good job of combining horizontal and vertical banding. The stone columns and the mullions (or fenestration if you prefer) create the verticals. The horizontal nature comes from the stone above and below the main portion of the glass. The condensed nature of the windows on the top help provide the horizontal feel too.

That’s all I can analyze though because all of the pictures that I found on Google are of this elevation.  It’s quite obvious the design quality has been upgraded since 1979. -Kevin

WWE Needs Your Help!

Well, it's better than a red bird cage.

Well, it's better than a red bird cage.

I just checked my email a minute ago, and there was one from WWE. They need my help! Apparently, even though they have a full “creative” team on their payroll, they need to do fan surveys to figure stuff out. I’m starting to wonder if the creative team serves any purpose whatsoever other than figuring out ways to get themselves on television because they are all marks for themselves and are hurting the business and deserve to suffer great pain for the rest of their lives.

But I digress. The point is, I was sent a survey to help the helpless figure stuff out. The purpose was to determine what should be the name of the PPV that features Elimination Chamber matches in the main events of the show. The choices were as follows:

-Elimination Chamber

-Heavy Metal

-Battle Chamber

-Chamber of Conflict

-No Way Out

They had you rank the five choices in the order you like them. I voted for No Way Out since, as logic would dictate, that’s the name they’ve gone with in the past, it’s not a bad name by any means, and why change something that doesn’t really need to be changed? I also wouldn’t mind using the name “Elimination Chamber” much in the same way WCW called their show “War Games” when it featured a War Games match.

The other three names are ridiculous and if that’s what the creative team gets paid to come up with, where do I sign up? – Dusty

Just a reminder, you can discuss the Elimination Chamber, the Chamber of Conflict, the Halloween Havoc Chamber of Horrors, and whatever else you like to discuss by registering for our free message board: http://www.stuntgranny.net/cgi-bin/yabb24/YaBB.pl

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