TNA Roster Game: E&J Edition!

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This isn't a roster picture but who cares. Splitz!

Yes yes y’all it’s the return of The Roster Game to StuntGranny. In part one, Eric and Jeremy dissect the TNA roster and give their opinions and thoughts on who should stay, go and just leave wrestling altogether. They discuss the reason why Bobby Lashley is not needed and why he is bad for MMA in general at this time. They also come up with a good mash up for Sharmell and Jay Lethal. (Hint: It has something to do with Hulk Hogan.) There is also a discussion on who has a bad gimmick that can be salvaged with the help of Hot Topic and how so many wrestlers end up with porn names. There is a bunch more; hell there has to be since this is over an hour, so you better listen.

TNA Roster Game 2009 E&J Edition

TNA Roster for those playing along at home.

Don’t like what ya hear or just want to shower us with praise? Visit us at the Stunt Granny Forum and follow along.

So Easy, A Dinosaur Could Do It

I had no idea that Tyler Reks had a show on WWE.com until he tweeted about it yesterday. I’m glad I have something to mock because the news is slow even with Hogan going to TNA. Neither company seems to worried about putting out new merchandise even though a couple of new things have trickled out for both companies.

First off, we’ve got a completely silly name for the show but then again so does this article. At least I know I’m being stupid though. I do have to admit to being a surf music fan so I like the tunes that go along with his introduction. His verbal skills seem to be better than anything I remember him uttering on TV but the material is gawd awful. Shame-O’s is even a bad name by WWE standards. I don’t actually mind T-Reks as a nickname considering the number of ways sports announcers try to short athlete’s names. The biggest problem, obviously, is the 42 grams of Power Packed T-Reks Beat Down Coming Your Way. You haven’t been on TV for at least a month so no beat down is coming. T-Reks should try kissing John Cena’s ass since HHH’s ass is being spit shined by the Celtic Warrior who is intended for the beat down.

In this week’s video, T-Reks gets another minute to talk and again, I don’t think his delivery is the problem but it’s the material he’s being fed. The script didn’t match the visuals supplied. Reks mentions the “Complete and Utter Butthead” twice so I’d guess he wasn’t free lancing yet the book about Ryder simply said “How To Be A Butthead”. Is douchebag not allowed in the PG-13 world? The promo would have more bite to it with that change in words. I do find it quite humorous that Reks equates Zach’s ring jacket to women’s lingerie because it does look like it. I’m also glad that he came up for a name, trites, for those awful things Ryder wears in the ring. I get the douchebag vibe from Zach without those things.  Unfortunately for T-Reks the skit comes to a screeching halt because his pick up lines are no better than the fake phone call used by Ryder.

There was some positive in these skits and negatives. Anyone not getting ring time should be smart enough to ask management to get their own online segment because it catapulted Cryme Tyme and more prominently The Miz & John Morrison into stardom. Tyler Reks can work out the kinks of his delivery and character while not making a complete ass out of yourself on the much larger stage of WWE. – Kevin

The Glory Days of Survivor Series

Due to the fact that people don’t give a damn about Survivor Series 2009, I figured I would try to remind you all how great Survivor Series builds used to be.  I order you to enjoy these. How can you not when Hogan talks about Paul Bearer’s “mortuary face”.

Survivor Series ’91 Report:

Flair and Razor Ramon hype up their match against Perfect and Savage at Survivor Series ’92:

This may not be the best Survivor Series of all time, but dammit, I would watch this 1000ty times in a row before I bought this year’s. Survivor Series 1993 Report:

Stay tuned. I will be posting as many Survivor Series treasures as I can find. – Jordan

Stunt Granny Audio #65

adriancronauer

The weather out there today is hot and shitty with continued hot and shitty in the afternoon. Tomorrow a chance of continued crappy with a pissy weather front coming down from the north. Basically, it's hotter than a snake's ass in a wagon rut.

Dusty and Kevin are back with us this week for a jaw dropping, rim rocking, death defying audio update. Is there big news to talk about? You better believe there is! Are there things to be grumpy about? You better believe they’re grumpy! Our two heroes talk about the big news of Hulk Hogan signing with TNA. They also talk about how Triple H and Sheamus are now BFFs 4 Life. They talk about Kofi Kingston, they talk about how most things in today’s wrestling landscape make no sense whatsoever, and they talk about a whole bunch of other stuff, too, so you need to listen to this audio or they’re going to reap your soul.

Stunt Granny Audio #65

Hulk Hogan Signs With TNA

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I have no clue what this means for TNA, but I know I am excited! Does this mean Russo and Ferrara are out? Does this mean that Hogan’s Australia crew is in? Does this mean that a month from now, AJ Styles will not be the TNA Champion? (Yes, and thank god for that.)

While the speculation runs rampant, I do know that TNA was in serious need of some kind of change, and hiring the carniest carny that ever carnied is certainly a change from staying the course with the imbeciles they have running the ship right now. So I applaud them for at least recognizing that they needed to do something differently.

Maybe they can hire Tony Schiavone to declare that TNA is “cool again.” – Dusty

Hulk Hogan on Larry King Live (ugh), Jimmy Fallon (UGH)

Hulk Hogan

So, are they playing Rock Paper Scissors, or are they arguing over what Hulk is gonna do to Brooke later?

Hulk Hogan is releasing a new book, brother, that is sure to be full of revelations about his and his family’s pathetic lives, dude. And not only has Hogan become a parody of a real celebrity, BRAH, he’s beginning to make the talk-show rounds, you stinky, nasty, wart-infested brothers! According to Prowrestling.net, Hogan will be on Larry King Live tonight at 9 EST/8 CST (wait, are we on standard or daylight right now? eh, fuck it), and you can bet grizzled ol’ Larry will really rake the Hulkster over the coals. Better yet, maybe King will fall ill and be replaced by Kermit the Frog again! Then the insufferable Jimmy Fallon will host the No. 1 Hulkamaniac on “Late Night with Dipshit McGee” on Thursday night. If you thought Fallon was awkward and unfunny already, what’s he gonna do when Hogan’s mannish daughter, slut wife and brain-dead family friend come up, dude?! Set your DVRs, people! -Eric

Bragging Rights Preview

These matches are as meaningful as this shirt.

These matches are as meaningful as this shirt.

Jeremy and Kevin are back for another pay per view preview, this time for the WWE’s Bragging Rights. The boys realize that there are only five matches which is as short as the hype for this pay per view. They get off to a rollicking start talking about the Women’s match and mow through the card leading up to the big seven against seven tag team match which won’t even be the main event of the show. They discuss the John Cena Randy Orton Iron Man Match in small detail as both are skeptical this is actually the final match between the two. They talk about the possibility of heel turns and how it will affect future storylines for WWE. Enjoy this because you won’t get a review and it’ll be better than the pay per view.

Bragging Rights 2009 Preview

Stunt Granny Audio #64

We weren't this nauseatingly positive but we tried.

We weren't this nauseatingly positive but we tried.

Dusty and Kevin are back for another round and decided that bitching about today’s product should be left off the agenda for a change. Well, we started off negative but still had about 50 minutes of positive. So being as though we were positive we talked about the two shows that usually get skipped, Smackdown and ECW. Listen to us while you grab a snack, beer and whatever else you can jamb in your mouth just like Kevin did while recording.

Stunt Granny Audio #64

Feel free and disagree with Dusty and Kevin over at the FREE Stunt Granny Forum. All you have to do is sign up and sultry pics of Eric Nelson will be at your disposal.

The Architecture of Wrestling – The Igloo

Yes kids, it did really open.

Yes kids, it did really open.

The WWE is putting on their next pay per view, Bragging Rights, at Mellon Arena in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania. The venue is near and dear to yours truly as I’ve attended several games there to watch my beloved Penguins. The Civic Arena, as it was originally known, was originally built in 1961 for the Pittsburgh Civic Light Opera. As usual, if you want more about it’s history, head here.

Only I would draw parallels between the Pantheon and Mellon Arena.

Only I would draw parallels between the Pantheon and Mellon Arena.

I’ll do a revisit on this building if I attend a game before they implode the oldest venue in the NHL for the new Consol Energy Center which will be completed in August of 2010. It does give me time to make a correction about the architects who build a lot of arenas and stadiums. They were formerly HOK Sport Venue Event but are now called Populous who designed Consol Energy Center. For now, I’ll go off fond memories and a bevy of pictures, something that has been sorely lacking in most of my write ups.

A little perspective to show the surrpounding area.

A little perspective to show the surrounding area.

There actually isn’t a large amount to say about the design of the building. As anyone can tell, the main portion of this building is the retracable roof. Because it is supported by a 260 foot arch so there is no internal framing which leaves all views unobstructed inside the arena. The roof still can retract into the 2 panels to each side of the support arch. The design of the roof (and the lower portion even) reminds me of another self supporting dome, the Pantheon in Rome. It also happens to have an opening (the oculus) in it too.

It's the 260 foot support arch, like duh!

It's the 260 foot support arch, like duh!

The lower portion of the building takes cues from the Pantheon because it doesn’t mimic it directly. Columns come down at a regular interval which is similar to the ones that support the dome inside the Pantheon. The columns are stripped down which is unlike the decorative Corinthian columns used at the Pantheon. The height of the lower portion limits the design possibilities and makes it pretty utilitarian.

A ticket window with an awning and sets of double doors are all pretty dull.

Ticket windows with awnings and sets of double doors are all pretty dull.

Even though I have a lot of fond memories and the fact that this arena was the first one with a retractable roof, the building itself is pretty plain. I have already started forming opinions on the Consol Energy Center but I’ll wait until it is finalized before review it. At least I still have the bragging rights to say that the defending Stanley Cup Champions play in this building for one last season. – Kevin

Like Shooting Fish in a Barrel

This is just Joe's food at his home in Samoa.

This spread is just Joe's portion at his home in Samoa.

According to the Pro Wrestling Torch (they report news once every four months) Samoa Joe and AJ Styles blew up at this weeks tapings. AJ Styles stated the obvious to Vince Russo who is the only person on the planet that doesn’t realize that the first month of Styles’ TNA Heavyweight Title reign has been a disaster. A short recap of Styles’ title reign, he was barely on TV the show after he won the title belt. No matter how formula it is in the WWE, at least they give a new champion mic time to berate or thank the crowd. He lost to Kurt Angle before his match at Bound For Glory. A beat down by your opponent makes you look vulnerable. A clean loss to another main eventer makes you look weak. Styles then won a short (by main event standards) match with an out of the blue finish over Sting who mailed in his end of the performance. Good for Styles standing up for himself. The worst thing that can happen is he gets fired, signs with the WWE, makes more money and feuds with Evan Bourne and Hornswoggle for the next five years.

On to the serious story now, Samoa Joe yelled at TNA management because they didn’t use his friend’s catering service at Bound For Glory. Evidently the caterers TNA used didn’t supply Joe with as much food as his dojo does. – Kevin

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