WWE Royal Rumble 2010, by the (approximate) numbers

 statistician

We all love statistics, and we all love statistics about the WWE Royal Rumble, so here are the (approximate) entrance and exit times of the 30 superstars who participated in the Rumble:

# Entered | Wrestler | Time of entry || Eliminated by (Time in Rumble) | # Eliminated
01 | Dolph Ziggler | 00:00 || CM Punk (2:30) | 2
02 | Evan Bourne | 00:00 || CM Punk (2:29) | 1
03 | CM Punk | 1:51 || Triple H (10:26) | 7
04 | JTG | 3:28 || CM Punk (0:35) | 3
05 | Great Khali | 4:55 || Beth Phoenix (2:15) | 4
06 | Beth Phoenix | 6:24 || CM Punk (1:49) | 5
07 | Zack Ryder | 7:58 || CM Punk (0:57) | 6
08 | Triple H | 9:32 || Shawn Michaels (19:55) | 17
09 | Drew McIntyre | 11:17 || Triple H/Shawn Michaels (15:27) | 16
10 | Ted DiBiase | 12:49 || Shawn Michaels (12:57) | 14
11 | John Morrison | 14:20 || Shawn Michaels (11:52) | 15
12 | Kane | 15:53 || Triple H (8:23) | 11
13 | Cody Rhodes | 17:29 || Shawn Michaels (8:48) | 13
14 | MVP | 19:12 || himself (3:32) | 8
15 | Carlito | 20:42 || Shawn Michaels (4:47) | 12
16 | The Miz | 22:14 || MVP (0:30) | 9
17 | Matt Hardy | 23:47 || Kane (0:28) | 10
18 | Shawn Michaels | 25:12 || Batista (20:54) | 26
19 | John Cena | 27:02 || Edge (7:12) | 27
20 | Shelton Benjamin | 28:35 || John Cena (0:56) | 18
21 | Yoshi Tatsu | 30:08 || John Cena (0:34) | 19
22 | Big Show | 31:37 || R-Truth (4:19) | 21
23 | Mark Henry | 33:08 || R-Truth (2:48) | 22
24 | Chris Masters | 34:28 || Big Show (0:41) | 20
25 | R-Truth | 35:43 || Kofi Kingston (4:19) | 24
26 | Jack Swagger | 37:05 || Kofi Kingston (2:15) | 23
27 | Kofi Kingston | 38:36 || John Cena (3:06) | 25
28 | Chris Jericho | 40:07 || Edge (2:36) | 26
29 | Edge | 42:11 || WINNER
30 | Batista | 43:32 || John Cena (5:13) | 28

Longest time in the Rumble: Triple H (19:55)
Shortest time in the Rumble: Matt Hardy (0:28)
Most eliminations: Shawn Michaels (6)
Entrance/exit number the same: Cody Rhodes (13/13)
Only person to eliminate two people at once: R-Truth (Big Show/Mark Henry
Only person to be eliminated by two people: Drew McIntyre (Hunter/Michaels)
Only wrestler to eliminate himself: MVP (MVP)
Wrestler to eliminate the most women: CM Punk (1, Beth Phoenix)

2010 Royal Rumble Random Draw Kick-Ass Pick’ Em (Kinda) Game

We dont worry too much about copyrights around here.

We don't worry too much about copyrights around here.

Remember last year when we did that amazing game where you all signed up, then I picked numbers from 1 to 30 out of a Baltimore Colts fitted cap, and whoever had the number of the man who won the Royal Rumble match got bragging rights and a date with their attractive cousin? Well, Stunt Granny wants to share that fun with you again! For this game (which is totally not affiliated with WWE), all you need to do is leave a comment on this post saying you’re interested in playing. DEADLINE IS 6 P.M. CENTRAL, SUNDAY, JAN. 31. At that time, Eric will randomly draw numbers from 1 to 30 in the order you signed up (don’t worry, the five of us won’t play, including Jordan, who won last year); once Eric gets to the end of the list, he’ll start from the top again, making it first-come, first-served. So if 10 people sign up, everyone gets three numbers. If 29 people sign up, everyone gets one number, but the first person to sign up gets an extra number. We have nothing to give you, so all you’ll win is the chance to gloat in a comment. But *what a comment!* So sign up today, then order the 2010 WWE Royal Rumble (we’re totally not affiliated with WWE), and take a spot on the edge of your seat! Whoa!

Stunt Granny Audio #80

three monkeys

Eric, Kevin and Jordan team up this week to hash over a surprisingly newsworthy week. With TNA and Spike TV announcing plans to air iMPACT! on Monday nights starting in March — annually the point of WWE’s hottest creative streak — and Chris Jericho and Hurricane Helms being arrested for not drinking moonshine while in Kentucky — as bow-legged Matt Hardy ran away — there’s plenty to talk about and plenty to make fun of. Also, how did Monday Night Raw do as WWE’s almost-go-home show for the Royal Rumble? Give a click and give a listen! (58 minutes)

Stunt Granny Audio #80

Matt Hardy Joins The Fun

It’s about time we had some old fashion drunkenness to report on in the world of wrestling. Last night, according to everyone but cited on Prowrestling.net for fun, Greg “Hurricane” Helms and Chris Jericho were arrested for public intoxication.  They were arrested in Kentucky of all places. This normally slides as common behavior but it gets better.

They apparently started fighting in a taxi cab and then took it outside a gas station where Helms hit not only Jericho but the other passengers in the cab, one of which is a female. Yup, Hurricane went Parallax on everyone including the women. Idiot. Unless he was going berserk, swinging his arms like a lunatic and accidentally struck her. If not, well he is going to get what’s coming to him.

As Dusty said “In any event, WWE should fix this by firing Helms and giving Jericho a two year long World Title reign.” Oh and to make matters worse, Helms was last known to date Velvet Sky.

But wait, it gets even better. TMZ.com is now reporting Matt Hardy fled the scene like a bitch. Once the cops were called Matt ran for it and never returned to the scene like Helms did. Who is dumber here; Jericho for staying, Hardy for running or Helms for running and then returning? According to the story they aren’t going to charge Hardy so I say running was a good choice. Even if it is a bitch move.

All of this begs the important question: what the fuck was Chris Jericho thinking by hanging out with Gregory Helms and Matt Hardy? -Jeremy

Gregory Helms Should Be Fired

According to TMZ.com:

WWE wrestler Greg “Hurricane” Helms allegedly smacked several people — including a woman — before he and Chris Jericho were arrested at a Kentucky gas station yesterday, law enforcement sources tell TMZ.

We’re told several people were in a taxi cab with Helms and Jericho when things allegedly got violent around 4 AM yesterday.

Cops say they spoke to several members of the group who told them Helms struck three people — including Jericho, a man named Gary Kelley and a female passenger named Ashley Storer.

Witnesses told cops Helms ran from the scene right after the violent incident but returned to the gas station soon after, where he — along with Jericho — was arrested for being drunk in public.

Cops say Helms was not arrested for the alleged attack because the alleged victims have not pressed charges — a requirement for an arrest in Kentucky if the police do not witness the attack.

Ashley told cops she did not want to file charges against Helms — but Kelley told police he’s mulling it over and may go after the wrestler.

It is just fantastic to see that in addition to being one of the worst wrestlers ever, Helms is also a useless human being. I pray to god WWE fires his useless ass so he can go to TNA with the rest of the has-beens and the never-weres. – Dusty

Their Numbers = Our Numbers UPDATED

Wrestling numbers go up, our numbers go up.

According to Prowrestling.net (by way of prowrestlingevents.tk)  TNA iMPACT! will be going head to head with Monday Night Raw on March 1st. I did a simple search on TNA’s site and they have no information regarding this event. I looked on the WWE’s site and their event will be in Oklahoma City with guest hosts Cheech Marin and Tommy Chong. TNA still has nice dreams (Obvious movie tie in that I’ll beat you over the head with by the end of this article) that they can still compete with the WWE. TNA’s poor timing will probably make their higher ratings go up in smoke (Feel free to groan) because this date will be 27 days before Wrestlemania. The WWE will be in full swing with their preparation for their big show and big names will be swapping brands more than Cheech & Chong passed joints in Still Smokin’. TNA did get a minor bump in ratings (up to 1.3 from 1.0) this past week but they’re going to need to sustain that momentum for another month for this second skirmish to matter. I’ve got no faith in TNA especially since one of Hulk “Yellowbeard” Hogan’s best ideas is to recreate an angle that occurred in the WWE twelve years ago with Kurt Angle playing the part of Bret “The Hitman” Hart, AJ Styles being Shawn Michaels and Hogan acting like Vince McMahon. The WWE will happy to have the opposition hype Hart versus McMahon at Wrestlemania while also doing so on their own programming. – Kevin

Update: There’s a second report from Prowrestling.net that iMPACT! will indeed be moving to Monday’s permanently March 1st. I’m just giddy that TNA may be crushed by the time my birthday hits two days later. They are going to be live one week and tape the next week’s on Tuesday and repeat the cycle. If the WWE is smart, they won’t pull a Bischoff and announce title changes on air about their “competition”. Even the WWE’s crowd could have given a shit less about TNA programming on January 4th because they didn’t mention TNA at all. The Orlando crowded chanted “We don’t need Bret” and other anti-WWE chants. Vince will thank you later for the free advertising. – Kevin

PWO – Season 3 – Epsiode 4

Dawn Decadence looked like this, except in pink.

Joe Dombrowski hyped the main event match between Benjamin Boone and Jason Bane as the battle of the largest men in PWO for later. Bobby Shields came to the ring with Dawn Decadence (wearing a naughty elf costume.  The episode aired Jan. 3rd) to take on “Omega” Aaron Draven for the TV Title. Draven hit three straight arm drags to get the match rolling.  Dombrowski said that Mike Tolar would get a rematch against Johnny Gargano while Draven had Shields on the mat with a headlock. Shields took over with a slam and a fist drop that had as much hoopla as “You Can’t See Me” which is odd for a heel. Shields kept punishing Draven with head butts to the stomach and a reverse chin lock. Draven took over with a high kick and a running clothesline. Shields got a near fall out of a jack hammer. Draven got caught on the top ropes, blocked a super-plex and then stood up instead of hitting a frog splash onto Shields. Shields tried to roll up Draven but he turned it into an Oklahoma roll which got him the three count. Sex Appeal came out and they hit the triple thrust kick on Draven. Beverly curb stomped Draven to end the beat down.

Analysis: Solid match and good ending if they want to continue this feud. Draven and the three members of Sex Appeal match up well in the ring. I didn’t like the fact that they cut to the following promo as soon as Beverly hit the curb stomp.

The Puerto Rican Wrecking Crew started a promo in Spanish. Isaac Montana grabbed the mich and said his name and his partner’s, Luis Diamante, in English and said they were ready to take on The Clash which had run legends like Greg “The Hammer” Valentine, Jim “The Anvil” Neidhart and Brutus “The Barber” Beefcake out of  PWO. They vowed to take the Tag Belts back to the Latin American community.

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Stunt Granny Audio: Kevin reports after attending live Raw

wish you were here

He *was* there, silly!

If you’ve been following this site for the past 24 hours, YOU KNOW that Kevin attended WWE Monday Night Raw tonight. He called Eric soon after the show was over to check in and comment on the state of things from a live perspective, including who shot off the T-shirt cannon, who got cheered by everyone except some hick in a sleeveless, sideless shirt, and how the Columbus, Ohio, crowd stacked up tonight in comparison to previous shows attended by “Flash” himself. Click to listen, in all of its unedited glory! (~25 minutes)

Stunt Granny Audio: Kevin/Post-Raw Edition

Spoilers from tonight’s WWE Monday Night Raw taping

Raw granny

This granny likes it RAW~!

Kevin is texting us updates from the Nationwide Arena (Nationwide is on your side) in Columbus, Ohio (the University of Iowa is on my side). Here they are, in a timely fashion (with my asshole comments in italics):

7:33 p.m.: They have to top (tarp?) half of the arena behind the hard camera. The areas open are packed. Superstars match is the Bella Twins vs. Katie Lea & Jillian. (Godspeed, Kevin.) The Bellas win with a victory roll. The Bellas didn’t look bad until after the hot tag. Decent match. Katie got the most cat calls. Guards have passed out some DX glow sticks.

7:44 p.m.: Chavo vs. Primo vs. Masters for a spot in the Rumble. Chavo is locked for a Masters win. Too bad the crowd lost. (Ba-dum ching.) Masters got an OK reaction. Looks like a SS match. (I hope he’s not referring to the SS like the tattoo on Ludvig Borga’s leg.)

7:52 p.m.: Jericho came out and said he’d win the RR. Truth came out to a big pop (sad) and ran down Y2J. Truth claims he’ll win the RR (that’ll be the fuckin’ day). Short brawl & Jericho bails.

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