Jeff Hardy indicted on drug possession charges. Duh.

Jeff Hardy is in no way on drugs

"DRUGS DRUGS DRUGS DRUGS!"

According to Prowrestling.net by way of PWInsider.com (I right-clicked Powell’s link to copy PWI’s shortcut and almost opened it in a new tab; my computer almost went bye-bye… not that Dot Net hasn’t been gacking up my shit lately, too), Jeff Hardy was formally indicted on drug possession charges, which if you remember all started back in September, just after Hardy left WWE. Good timing, WWE. No need to have that stuff happen on your watch… when it can happen on TNA’s!! I agree with something Dusty said in his almost-real-time blog: There’s still money in Punk vs. Hardy. In fact, there’s still a lot of money in Hardy vs. most people in WWE. There is literally no money to be made wrestling anyone in TNA. But at the same time, he loves drugs and WWE doesn’t, so what’s an addict to do? -Eric

Fall out Headlines

Steve's fist was coming at my head like this...

Snap (Stallone’s Neck) – Steve Austin decided to go a little too far while filming a fight scene for the movie “The Expendables” with Sylvester Stallone and broke his neck. It’s only a hairline fracture which I suppose is good. I recovered from a hairline fracture in about a month. Granted it was in my wrist from jerking off. Stallone’s got way better doctors than me (wink, wink, nudge, nudge) so it could happen. If not, he’s a big pussy.

Crackle (From Bubba’s Microphone) – Bubba The Love Sponge, who didn’t get to the bottom of the attackers last night, is pissed on two fronts. Large swaths of his Army didn’t get into The iMPACT! Zone last night after he guaranteed they’d get in. Evidently like much of America, Bubba hasn’t watched TNA because he should know that the building only seats 1500 people so his Army alone would have packed the joint. Bubba also said that the backstage area was unorganized and chaotic. What did he expect from a show that constantly is unorganized and chaotic? Oh that’s right, he was sucking on Hogan’s teet for too long to watch any of iMPACT!

Don't the Bella Twins make you miss me already?

Pop (Goes Melina’s Knee) – Melina had surgery to repair her torn left ACL. Even Dr. James Andrews realized she was a terrible babyface.

Thanks to Prowrestling.net for Snap, Crackle (Part 1 & 2) and Pop.

Dusty’s Blog: Diary of the new Monday Night Wars

The new Monday Night Wars are so exciting, you're not going to want to turn your TV off ever!!!

So about a million years ago, back in the early ’90s, I remember reading this Sports Illustrated column where the guy did a diary type piece tracking the several college football bowl games that were on in one day. And I thought it was funny, and well written, and a good concept, and so I decided to jack it for Stunt Granny on what is being hyped as the most important night in pro wrestling in god only knows how long. Speaking of long, that’s what this is. Here is my story:

7:00 p.m. I turn on Impact. Lord help me.

7:03 p.m. TNA has the worst announce team, maybe ever. And yes, I realize that David Crockett exists. The two idiots hype Bubba the Love Sponge as a new backstage interviewer. What an embarrassing name for a new viewer to hear.

7:05 p.m. Talking to fans about their opinions is always cringe-worthy. Bad idea. They’re most likely plants anyway, so what’s the point?

7:06 p.m. The Motor City Machine Guns come out to job in the red birdcage clusterfuck match.

7:07 p.m. Jay Lethal really, really sucks.

7:09 pm. Is that cage made of plastic? It seems awfully poorly constructed.

Me: Why are there so many people in this match?

Becky: Because zebra finches need to be in a large group.

7:11 p.m. Tazz: There’s so much going on – it’s hard to follow!

Well, right.

Continue reading

Hulk Hogan Returns! TNA Rules, Brother!

After reading the forum, you'll know why I choose this picture.

I’m begging you like Mike Rowe at the end of every Dirty Jobs episode (You should be watching that) to go to our forum and respond to my take live as it happened (most of the time anyway) when Hulk Hogan took over TNA. He said he was going to change wrestling forever. Did he?  See what I think because I’m important. I bought a website domain and started posting my thoughts with three other jackasses. I don’t care if you think I’m an idiot. Tell me why and I’ll gladly reconsider. Agree with me and doggie pile on the rabbit. Just go to the SG Forum tag in the upper left/middle of our page and sign up. – Kevin

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