Linda McMahon’s purse strings loose like sleeve of wizard

"I wish I could make her money appear in my gloved hands!" -Jimmy McMillan

According to Yahoo Finance, Linda McMahon has spent a total of $41.5 million of her own money — that she earned as a WWE employee and as WWE talent, alongside cashing in cans and opening a lemonade stand, I’m sure — on her campaign for U.S. Senate in Connecticut, meaning she has spent more of her own money on her campaign than anyone else in the running for a U.S. Senate seat. And she intends to spend upwards of another $8.5 million. According to a high-ranking source within Stunt Granny, her campaign’s rent is too damn high! -Eric


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Kevin’s Blog: Almost Live, Definitely Half Assed Review of Raw

I'm pissed of at my PC.

After taking way too long to boot up my computer, I’m going to get to reviewing Raw. Jeremy wanted to do a recording with me tomorrow night. It might not be happening but hopefully we’ll get you some quality ear candy for this week about the WWE.

Teddy Long told me not to adjust my TV set. Outstanding. Teddy always rocks a good suit. I do get a kick out of Cole doing the GM stuff. It’s sucking to admit liking any aspect of that person. This yearly quickly manufactured heat between brands blows. Go with it Teddy, disconnect that computer. Nice time waster announcing Team Smackdown so I got to hit FF. I like Tyler Reks new look. Not sure why he’s in this event though. He’s going to get booted early so they’re going to kill his momentum. More FF action for Miz. Awesomeness, Zeke is back! I’m shocked, a big brawl. Cole is so over hyping the event. There, I feel better ripping on him. I love the little stuff Punk is doing to talk Miz into the match against Big Show. I got to FF thru the hype for Barrett/Orton too. I might catch up quicker than I thought.

Another match uo between these four guys. Fabulous. I have noticed that Kidd is being highlighted in the Hart Dynasty matches and that’s a good thing. DH Smith has been marginally better too. Disension in the Hart ranks. As good a place as any to start breaking them up. Really shocked another small guy might make it.

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Bob Holly moves to Iowa… oh no!! (*car tires squeal*)

bob holly

"I'm-mo be tha may-ir of Duh-byook!"

According to a TNA house show report, at Prowrestling.net (submitted by Stunt Granny friend MattheWWFanatic), Bob Holly, who was in attendance at the live event, now lives in the city where the show was held, Dubuque, Iowa.

Wait… I live in Iowa.

And Bob Holly lives in Iowa?

I’m dead.

Well, let’s think about this. It’s not like Bob Holly knows we’re saying any of this stuff about him; if he has the Internet, I’ll eat my hat. Christ, have you seen his wrestling school’s Web site? No one’s made a site at Tripod since the fucking dancing baby. Holly seems like the type of guy who’s been trying to find a place to plug his TV into his typewriter for the last 10 years. “I’m-mo git this gawd damn thang ta workin’ yet!” He probably thinks “going to Yahoo” means riding the mule to the next town over.

And anyway, Dubuque is three and a half hours away from Des Moines. If he finds anyone first, it’ll be Dusty, a mere 2.5 hours away in Fon du Lac! -Eric

Twitter and YouTube work! Matt Hardy released! He got his wish! (Nerd.)

Wait, see what I did with that picture?

According to Prowrestling.net, Matt Hardy has been released from WWE. Good riddance. If you’re so god damned adamant about not being a company man for the people who put you on the map… if you’re so full of yourself that you Tweet and YouTube about yourself 12 times a day… if you’re so self-loathing that, as an athlete, you fail to go to the gym for months and then fake an injury (*cough*GilbertArenas*cough*) or OD or whatever gets you sent home like a huge baby, then you deserve to be released, not because you want to go help your brother make TNA the best garsh-darneded rasslin’ company they ever was, but because you’re complete trash and have no place in the biggest company in your field. Have fun continuing to toil in mediocrity, which, if Google Latitude is correct, is located somewhere within your drug-addled brother’s shadow. -Eric

The TNA Roster Game 2010

It’s that time of year again grand kids. The leaves are changing and beginning to fall. The air is a tad crisper. Chilean miners are wearing dark shades even at night. You know what that means? It means it’s time foe the fourth annual Stunt Granny TNA Roster game. Yes that’s right; all four members of the crew get together and give the thumbs up and thumbs down for their imaginary TNA promotion. Give it a listen as some of the choices are not as clear cut as you think. So give a listen to the HD version of The TNA Roster game. We make it worth your time, promise.

TNA Roster Game 2010

What TNA Did Right This Week

 

My fellow Italian descendant J-Woww on the right if you have somehow avoided the virus known as Jersey Shore brought to the world by MTV.

 

I’m stealing an old Jeremy bit and mentioning what TNA actually did right this week. After reading the spoilers, I’m positive TNA is doing 2 (more like 4) things right. TNA is finally using a reality TV star that still has some power with J-Woww from the Jersey Shore. The second (set of) thing(s) TNA is doing right is bringing in the hotness known as Cookie aka Becky Bayless. It has scored TNA publicity on TMZ (according to our news source Prowrestling.net).

Unfortunately,  everyone that visits TMZ.com and watches this train wreck of a program (just read these because they are sure to create an extra rant or two during the TNA roster game spoilers), they’re going to realize it’s a bigger pile of trash than Jersey Shore is because Bayless can’t act like a Guidette and whatever the fuck his name is isn’t a proper Guido. Can we all agree that whatever fate South Park has in mind for the cast of the Jersey Shore should be executed? TNA is going to run itself into the ground sooner rather than later so I’ll enjoy the slow motion crash of their demise. – Kevin

 

What, do you think I'd skip a chance to post a picture of the other good set of things TNA is doing?

 

Matt Hardy Has A Low IQ

Courtesy of Meltzer:

Matt Hardy is now claiming that all of his weird behavior, including getting sent home, was part of an elaborate work to get a release from WWE, which he still doesn’t have.  He said he was so convincing in being sent home on the European tour that everyone was fooled, except Christian saw through him.  And everything since then has been a work.  And he’s apparently mad at what Lita said about him and wants to address it.  He claimed he made the decision six or seven weeks ago that he wanted to leave and everything was a plot to get a release.  I was figuring he would say that.  He claimed that he reached a deal with WWE and has held up his end of it, that he has the WWE right where he wants them, and when they hold up their end, something big will happen.

So where do I start with this. First of all, why is the video quality so low? This is 2010, there exists technology to make sure that Youtube videos are not this poor looking. Matt Hardy himself has made videos that look much much better than this. Everything is moving backwards in time. This is very bizarre what is happening here.

In any event, Matt Hardy has a tremendously, mind bendingly low IQ. He thinks he has WWE right where he wants them, yet is complaining about how they have not yet held up their end of the deal. Uh, call me crazy here, but that sounds to me like *they* have *him* right where they want him. I’ve been saying this for months now; this is the slow bury, executed to perfection. WWE is making Matt Hardy completely useless. It is a happy accident that he is helping them in their pursuit to entrench him in complete irrelevance.

It’s the same thing that happened to Charlie Haas, for example. WWE could have let him go at any point over the last couple years. They chose the time they did to finally let him because it was at a point where he was totally irrelevant and would mean very little to TNA if they were to bring him in. (Luckily, he is actually intelligent and went to ROH, where his talents can be utilized properly.) WWE will use and abuse their talent in any way they see fit, and that includes running certain people into the ground for however long they see fit before letting them go.

From a basic psychology standpoint, what Matt Hardy is doing here is pretty straight forward. As he sees his life slipping away from him, he is creating an alternate reality where he can pretend that he is in control of his destiny, that he is calling all the shots in his life. Unfortunately for him, it simply does not ring true. He is claiming to be running his own angles and trying to get himself over, but the reality is that WWE owns him and controls him, and for as long as they do so, they can destroy his career whichever way they choose.

Matt Hardy is a sad case because he has become a very poor pro wrestler, through a combination of food and drug addiction, coupled with a low IQ and a delusional psychological condition that prevents him from seeing reality. His arrogant ignorance makes it hard to feel bad for him in what would otherwise paint a sympathic picture, and so I just wish him pain and suffering for as long as he insists on soiling something that I love. – Dusty

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