Black Friday Shopping Excursion: “No comment.”

“He’s a-no-thar cheep Jew jobroni. I carr-ee for him 8-ball ‘cross de bor-der, AN’ HE ONLY GIVE ME A LITTLE BUMP!”

Happy Thanksgiving

Stunt Granny Audio #120

LISTENNN

 There is a new WWE Champion and his name is the Miz! And so Dusty and Eric were all like, “Let’s talk about that!” And so they did. What did they think of the way the title switch came about? Has Miz earned the reign? Will he just punt it back to Orton on next week’s show? The fearsome twosome get to the bottom of these issues and so much more in this audio extravaganza. They then turn their attention to the coming King of the Ring tournament. Who has qualified so far, who is yet to qualify, and who do they think is going to win the flippin’ thing? Dusty also takes some time to point out that Matt Striker is horrible at what he does, and dusty cobwebs fly out of Eric’s mouth. All this and so much more, so listennnnnn.

Stunt Granny Audio #120

WWE Tough Enough returning, Tony Atlas thinks weird

According to Prowrestling.net, WWE “Tough Enough” is definitely returning, and the company has issued a casting call for athletes who want to become the “next WWE superstar.” Have I already made the “good thing Bob Holly isn’t still on the roster” joke?

Also according to Prowrestling.net, Tony Atlas was on the “In Your Head” online or radio or tin-cans-and-strings show, and admitted he came up with the idea to rub WD40 on himself during WWE’s old-school Monday Night Raw.

Jack asks about the WD40 segment and if Atlas actually put that on his body. Atlas didn’t do that as he was just told to think of something crazy. He thought that was pretty crazy.

I use that stuff to keep my car door latch from freezing open in the winter. My dad has had cans of the shit lying around the house since before I was born. It smells bad, like Sex Panther. I grew up with Water Displacement 40, and never in my three decades of developing my warped sense of humor have I ever thought of rubbing it on myself. I love Tony Atlas. Time to buy his book. -Eric

Stunt Granny Audio #119

willie waylon

It’s a new edition of the Stunt Granny Audio! Dusty and Eric discuss last Monday’s old-school WWE Monday Night Raw and what was awesome about it. Did they talk about anything that *wasn’t* awesome about it? Not really, because those things simply did not exist. What elements of old WWF programming would the guys like to see make a permanent return to the current WWE sh*t show? Who had the most effective promo, and was that a surprise? Also, a slew of WWE talent was just released; does anyone truly care? They even pull a “real radio show” tactic out of their sleeves and promote an upcoming audio topic! What’s it gonna be?!?! Click to listen! (43 minutes)

Stunt Granny Audio #119

Shawn Michaels Uses Swear Words

I bet the dude who hit Michaels was sweating nearly this badly.

According to Shawn Michaels’ Twitter:

The fam&I got hit by a drunk driver 2nite @50mph.All r OK. I did however jerk him out of his seat quite abruptly&say”bad” words;-)
Perhaps, like Aaron Altman falling in love with Jane Craig, perhaps I buried the lead there. Perhaps this sort of thing happens every day. Perhaps swearing in front of children is the real news here. – Dusty

Whoa, even more WWE cuts: Shad, Gallows, jobber, jobber, greasy writer (UPDATE: Ref, too)

 

Lance Hoyt

"Aw, c'mon, why me?" (Yes, that's Vance Archer as Lance Hoyt, and yes, TNA wasted time licensing his action figure.)

According to Prowrestling.net, even more wrestlers have been released today (don’t pick up your phone, Yoshi Tatsu):

Shad Gaspard: A shock to Jeremy, but I think he looked too much like a sweetheart to really be “Da Beast” he was marketed as in OVW. Good wrestler, though, but likely to have been miscast as a monster heel. (Whereas Ezekiel Jackson — who apparently allows WWE to meet its “big black guy” quota — is miscast as a giant babyface.) He would be smart to send a resume to TNA.

Luke Gallows: The Fake Kane, the Freakin’ Deacon, Festus… and now fired. Boy, that’s a lot of Fs.

Fake Kane

"F my life."

Caylen Croft: I liked the Dudebusters, but they were going nowhere. WWE’s tag team division is in shambles just like it’s been for the past eight years, and even though (I think) I like Croft more than Baretta, to WWE they’re the same warm body. Cut one, let the other one dangle. Go to Chikara and be a Ghostbuster instead.

Vance Archer: The former Lance… what the fuck was his name? Lance… Hoyt, that’s right, the former Lance Hoyt from TNA couldn’t find his niche in WWE. Then again his niche is being a smaller, boring version of Diesel with no charisma and a tramp stamp. So long, stinktown.

Big Dick Johnson: Whatever. Go start the next Major League Wrestling and wow us Court Bauer-style into realizing your fat dancer gimmick was untapped brilliance. Gross. -Eric

UPDATE: Aaron “Goose” Mahoney: I at least know who that is, which might be impressive in an era where referees’ names never get mentioned. But then again, I’m obsessed with professional wrestling, so it only makes sense that I sit outside Goosey’s house every night waiting for him to come home know who he is.

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