Royal Rumble 2011 Review Show

Darn tootin!

Holy shit they actually did it. Jeremy  and Kevin came through on their boast and now you can listen to the Stunt Granny Royal Rumble Review Audio. The guys talk about every single match on the card – yep, all four of them – in great detail. They discuss just why the hell Eve was added to the divas match as well as he unnecessarily confusing end. They discuss the possibilities of Kevin Nash and Booker T going forward after their surprise appearances. Jeremy, of course, goes off on John Cena as Kevin takes the opportunity to go paint a room in his house. But they make up for it by discussing the athleticism of Husky Harris. Okay, they talk about it but don’t dwell on it. You know you wanna listen so just download it already.

Royal Rumble 2011 Review

Royal Rumble fallout: Nash speaks, Kong hangs out, TNA scrambles

She was also spotted recently in a police station. Boy, people see her everywhere!

According to Prowrestling.net, Awesome Kong was backstage at WWE Royal Rumble. Good. She wasn’t on camera, though. We already know she signed, and then she was spotted backstage. That’s just what you do when you’re an employee. Moving on…

Also according to Prowrestling.net, Kevin Nash, probably known again as Diesel, was interviewed by WWE.com about how long he plans to wrestle. He said he hoped last night wasn’t his last match, and then said:

I know Randy Orton, he’s got pull around here.

I feel like that was less a joke about who he’s really tight with in WWE and more a crack at jobbers like Mr. Anderson, who claim they were fired because Randy Orton wanted them gone and he has clout. Good stuff from Big Kev, as usual.

Finally, according to Prowrestling.net, a TNA source has said the planned Main Event Mafia angle will need to be revamped now that Kevin Nash (and maybe Booker T) are affiliated with WWE. Says a source:

Big time rewrite mode this week due to their dumb asses writing a plot around guys who are not under contract.

Like it was going to work anyway. They have Ric Flair and Hulk Hogan under contract and still can’t draw a 1.3 unless you round up. Ten Kevin Nashes could squash forty hundred Kurt Angles every quarter hour for infinity, and TNA would still suck. -Eric

Kevin’s Blog: Almost Live, Definitely Half Assed Review of the Royal Rumble

Are You Ready to Rumble?

I’m actually going live for a change since this starts the road to Wrestlemania for the WWE and Stunt Granny. I’m hoping my dogs are down for the count tonight. I’ve kept them busy today with activity so I’ll keep my fingers crossed that I can see this show out. OK, time to start the barley with my homemade chicken stock.

I’m not surprised that a Championship match started this show. They aren’t screwing around though since there’s no review of the Ziggler and Edge build up. Vickie taunts Edge about the stipulation of not being able to use the spear. Kent State stomped on Toledo earlier today. Let’s see if KSU goes 2-0 today. I have my doubts. Edge starts off taking it to Dolph. Ziggler takes over when they come back into the ring. Ziggler worked over the neck. Edge got temporary relief with a silly ass catapult. By the way, it’s really weak watching this in standard definition. I didn’t find an HD feed from my cable provider. Boo!

I’m going to try and update about every five minutes. I have no idea when this started but I’d say we’re around the 10 minute mark. It’s been solid but nothing special so far. The double cross body seems sillier than a double clothesline for some reason.

Ziggler & Edge both get three counts off of counters. Ziggler took a rough landing on Edge’s move. Dolph gets another two count after reversing the top rope cross body. The crowd starts chanting for Ziggler. Nice but short lived.  Edge locks in a sideways(?)  Sharpshooter. Ziggler breaks it on the ropes.  Edge misses another cross body. That’s his 3rd of the match. Ziggler only gets a two count from the Fame Asser.  I’m amused by the Push Zach Ryder sign.  Edge sets up for the spear, thinks better of it then Ziggler got the sleeper momentarily. Edge hit the Impaler DDT. Vickie pulls on referee.

Kelly Kelly attacks Vickie. Dolph connects with the Zig Zag but Edge kicks out. Nice but weird sequence. Double K better have a good reason on this coming Smackdown. Ziggler locks in the sleeper. This could be the most boring way to win a championship. The referee gets knocked down. Vickie is still out and Edge thinks and connects with the spear. Cole is freaking out. Now, he’s just starting to be a heel version of his bad face persona. Edge wins with the Unprettier. Cole has no idea how the Oscars are picked. Cole, he would have had to done his acting last year dummy.

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Another Possible Surprise Royal Rumble Entrant!

Spoiler spoiler, if you read any further you will die immediately.

It looks like WWE has made a big international signing, and it is entirely possible that this person could be another surprise entrant into tonight’s Royal Rumble. Posting it for timeliness, holmes. Thank you PWI:

REPORTS CLAIM HUGE INTERNATIONAL SIGNING FOR WWE
By Mike Johnson & Phil Lions on 2J011-01-30 14:51:12 The Mexican press, specifically Super Luchas magazine are reporting that Lucha star Mistico has signed with WWE. Mistico had a tryout with the company last year and impressed. He’s been one of the top stars for CMLL in recent years.

Seems like his name pops up every few months, but maybe this time it will stick. It certainly would be a significant signing for WWE if it is true. – Dusty

Surprise Entrants For The Royal Rumble!

Don’t read this if you don’t want to be surprised!!!

I’m serious, this is your last chance.

I warned you, dumbo.

According to PWI:

Booker T and Kevin Nash are both booked for the Royal Rumble as surprises, PWInsider.com has confirmed.
As I noted yesterday, I suspected Booker was scheduled based on recent discussions with the company and based on Booker being pulled from his scheduled appearance at the New Orleans Comic Con. Company sources confirmed this morning he is in the Rumble.

WWE sources have also confirmed that Kevin Nash is booked for the Rumble and is scheduled to fly into Boston later today. Nash, who was in discussions with TNA as late as yesterday to finally finalize his deal to return to the company, will instead make his first appearance in a WWE ring in years.

TNA sources confirmed they ended their discussions with Nash within the last several days. The two sides had been going back and forth on signing a new deal in recent months and at one point, sources indicated that a new deal was done. That led to Nash accusing TNA’s office of leaking the information, which led to new rounds of negotiations. Nash admitted in a recent interview he was negotiating with TNA. Those discussions ended sometime within the last 24-48 hours. Nash has been pulled off the TNA website’s roster.

LOL TNA, basically. – Dusty

Stunt Granny Audio: Favorite WrestleMania, Part One

"Toodleoo!"

Inspired by a post on the PWTorch.com VIP Forum asking what everyone’s favorite WrestleMania is, Dusty and Eric discuss the merits of WrestleManias 1 through 13. The overarching question: If Joe Blow had to recommend that Jim Blim watch any particular WrestleMania because it’s his favorite, why would that be the one Mr. Blow recommends? Is it Roddy Piper’s excellent promos? Lord Alfred Hayes’ awful introductions? The atmosphere? The multiple excellent matches? The multiple stinktown matches, bolstered by a couple of incredible main events? See what the boys think of the first baker’s dozen WrestleManias, then stay tuned for the rest!

Stunt Granny Audio E&D’s Favorite WrestleMania’s pt1

The Rattlesnake Strikes Back!

I can't believe they never used this image on one of his shirts.

According to Entertainment Weekly (by way of Dot Net), “The Rattlesnake” Steve Austin will be the host of the new incarnation of Tough Enough. Both articles seem to think that Austin will be taking over Al Snow’s duties as head trainer. I have my doubts about that since the man won’t step back into the ring for a pay day so why would he do it for a reality show that will likely get canceled as soon as the rating drops 0.1? I get the feeling he’ll do enough so that no one feels robbed and the WWE gets to attach a marquee name to a “new” program like they did with all of the cross over appearances when ECW started. Austin could be a great host with his obvious mic skills and the WWE can pimp his news movies. It’s a win win. Did I just get through an article without bagging on someone? Yes I did. – Kevin

Stunt Granny Big 11- Week Ending 1/29/11

1. Daniel Bryan & Gail Kim – Did the Bella’s storyline do anything for Daniel Bryan? Yes it did. It kept him on TV even with the dead weight that is the U.S. Championship. Gail Kim got to say everything everyone on the internet thinks about the Bella twins. They could make a fun wrestling tandem. Too bad their obvious opposition, Ted DiBiase & Maryse are less important than Darren Young. – Kevin

2. Jake Roberts –  “The Snake” slithered (eh? eh?) his way back into the news this week by promoting his “retirement match” against Sinn Bodhi at Pro Wrestling Guerrilla’s Kurt Russellution as part of WrestleReunion 5 in Los Angeles this Saturday, as well as by telling In Your Head Radio that he had part of his foot removed. A) “Retirement match” my once-fat ass, this coke hound will come out of hiding with the first offer of a bump and a bundle of ones for the strip club. B) Him saying part of his foot was removed is as believable as any bum who claims “someone stole my kidney and left me in a tub of ice water, now let me borrow some change, man!” – Eric

3. Kurt Angle – His hot fiancee (I don’t think they’re married yet, sinners) had Angle’s baby one month premature, causing Angle to head home to make sure mommy and baby were OK. This is the first responsible thing Angle has done since helping a black woman across the street in 2004 and not asking her to have sex with him. – Eric

4. Ric Flair – Some will find this sad, as apparently dome TNA wrestlers do but others will and should find the news of him blowing through his money, awesome. Yep, Ric Flair, he of the now shuddered Ric Flair Finance, got in a tiff with TNA management on not getting a payout while in the middle of their European tour. Then TNA wrestlers have come out saying they find it sad when he can’t pay the bill due to his financial woes. There is nothing sad about it. Flair is drinking for free while those dummies foot the bill. Congrats enablers. -Jeremy

5. Royal Rumble – Can you remember a year where this has been so poorly hyped? There is no clear cut winner to build around and boy does the field of forty look a little thin. The title matches took a back seat to free television matches. The under card itself has three championship matches but one of them is a divas match and those don’t count. Regardless this is still getting ordered and enjoyed, hopefully. – Jeremy

6. Scott Hall – Because we can’t have enough drug addicts in our list. Hall told the Miami Herald this week that he plans to go back to rehab in Houston, Texas, his (I believe) ninth stint in a facility like this. Well, of course he’s going back, that’s how you meet people with all the good drugs! It’s like a bum who breaks a law just so he can spend the night in jail and get a warm bed and a decent meal. – Eric

7. Shane Helms – I think we can all breath a sigh of relief that this idiot is heading to Lucha Libre USA instead of TNA. It spares us from seeing 2 hicks with beer guts and 2 tattooed high spot monkeys trying to pass themselves off as the newest rip off of the 4 Horseman. – Kevin

8. Shawn Osborne & Stacy Carter – Osborne, who had been under WWE developmental contract in 2006 working in OVW, committed suicide recently. The kicker to this is that Stacy Carter, who is already on my bad side because I always want to type “Dixie Carter” when I’m referring to her and *nobody* wants to talk about Dixie Carter, went ahead and posted his suicide note on her Facebook page. Pretty sure if he had wanted it made public, he would have gone ahead and done that himself, but who I am to tell a negative IQ’d cumbasket what to do? – Dusty

9. Vince Russo – So it was Vince Russo’s 50th birthday this past week. We here at Stunt Granny hope for another 50 years of terrible booking, cheating on your wife, hiding behind your fake religion and general cowardly nonsense. Here’s to ya, Vinny Ru! – Dusty

10. New Best Match Ever – It’s this:

Dusty

11. Wrestling Roundtable – Just, here:

If you want to listen to total nonsense, you should just listen to Stunt Granny audios. – Dusty

WWE Royal Rumble 2011- Preview

Yes that’s right it has to be WrestleMania time if we are taking time out of our coke and alcohol binges to preview a WWE PPV. What better way to show our dedication than to start with The Royal Rumble. Jeremy and Kevin return this great tradition to all its glory by discussing all of the matches, yup, all four of them in wonderful Spectravision detail. Who do they think will walk out of the Rumble a Champion? Who will be the last man standing, or will it be a woman (Yeah this is a bullshit thing to say but come on go with it)? What surprises should we expect from WWE? Does Triple H come back and bigfoot everyone or does Evan Bourne surprise the masses and make a cameo only to be tossed out by Mark Henry in an act of betrayal? Who the hell knows but they are going to talk about all sorts of things like this. If that isn’t a hard sell well slap your mama.

Royal Rumble 2011 Preview

More Crappy Programming!

I wonder if the contestants will be wearing these cups.

In news that induced a yawn from me and the rest of the WWE Universe, the PWTorch.com reported the news that the Diva Search will take place during “regularly scheduled” WWE programming. Just another reason to tape their shows so that I can fast forward through these segments. The winner is irrelevant since they don’t get any more TV time than other contestants. It does mean that the current Divas are due for a couple of cuts that no one will miss since the Divas aren’t the focus of any show. The best thing about this show coming back on TV is the fact that we’re sure of getting a porno tape or at least some nudie pictures of the hot contestants. NSFW pictures below the jump. Or maybe they’re more like “It depends on where you work so I’ll save everyone some effort pictures” since I’m doing this on my lunch break.

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