Stunt Granny Big 11 #2 – We like to number things.

1. Ken Anderson – Dipshit goes out of his way to prove that WWE and especially Triple H, has him nailed. He has become nothing and has done nothing since being let go by WWE yet he bitches about his former employer. Maybe, just maybe if he had listened to the criticism instead of blowing them off he’d be a big deal in front of tens of thousands per week instead of two hundred.  This also applies to Matt Hardy, Jeff Hardy and whoever else signs with TNA after WWE dumps them.

2. Gail Kim vs. Alicia Fox – These women put on a very good (not great) match on Superstars. I’m not going to claim they’re pushing the women again but it was nice to see.

3. Shawn Michaels – The newest WWE Hall of Famer proved his charisma and connection with the crowd on Monday Night Raw by showing up, saying nothing, landing one superkick and still soaking in a huge reaction from the crowd. It would take 20 DH Smiths and 30 Ted DiBiases to equal one Heartbreak Kid.

4. Monday Night Raw – The latest edition of WWE’s flagship product was their most awkward and ill-conceived in quite some time. CM Punk standing on the TitanTron; Flying in Shawn Michaels for no reason but John Cena phoning in another shitty promo; R-Truth losing yet again to Alberto Delrio but buy count out so he got protected?; CM Punk awkwardly taking reins of Nexus; this show was hard to watch.

5. Ernest Shell  – It’s hard to give the already schysty independent wrestling promoter a bad name, but this guy managed to do it by stiffing his wrestlers *and* be carted out of the building by police. When I put on my one and only poorly attended wrestling show, I at least paid the guys and gave them some food; I didn’t have women wrestlers threatening to kick my ass, too.

6. Hoarders – TNA didn’t have enough Hardy when they hired Jeff Hardy, who allegedly hoards drugs, so they also hired his brother Matt Hardy, who allegedly hoards Twinkies. TNA is definitely hoarding ex-WWE superstars. Immortal was trying to hoard title belts but TNA did something right this week (Trademark to Jeremy) and got it off Jeff Hardy to Ken Anderson, who allegedly hoards injuries.

7. Gabriel & Slater to Smackdown – SD needed some more talent so adding Barrett and this duo will do them a lot of good. It should also allow people like Dolph Ziggler the chance to move up to the main event level while keeping the mid-card intact.

8. Kevin Nash – Like five minutes after announcing his retirement, it was announced that Nash will be returning to TNA at a 20 percent pay cut. Nash continues to be one of the smartest people in wrestling, and I’m sure once TNA goes out of business, McMahon will take him back again as well.

9. Samoa Joe – According to Meltzer, Joe accidentally stabbed himself at his home by sitting on a pocket knife, but was able to use superglue to get the wound closed. So now Joe is exactly Sabu, minus all the stuff that made Sabu awesome.

10. New Best Match Ever – It’s this:

and

11. Only Solitaire – It’s not wrestling related, but who gives a shit. It’s the best resource for music reviews that exists on the internet. Go HERE for all the fun. But then be sure to come back here, because here is more important than there, or everywhere.

The All Purpose Twitter Post

It’s a veritable plethora of Twitter madness that has been unleashed lately on the not-really-news-circuit. Let’s cover a couple of these instances, shall we. We shall.

First of all, Eric Bischoff has been mixing a strange concoction that is one part vodka and two parts epic fail, which doesn’t go well on airplane rides:

“Seriously…I get why most people think wresting fans are morons. The dumbest 10% make 90% of the noise and create the perception. Congrats to the challenged few that keep the image alive! While you may never amount to much, at least you have a village. Wade Keller can be the mayor of the Village of Idiots, and when Dave Sherer finds his penis under 50 pounds of fat he can be Barney Fife! FYI: I have enough money, enough success OUTSIDE OF WRESTLING that I dont give 2 sh*ts if I offend ‘wrestling fans.’ Im not bickering, I am on a plane with nothing else to do but entertain myself with this tripe.”

It’s interesting to me that someone who works in the wrestling business would so fervently attack wrestling fans like Bischoff always does, but then again, I’m just a dumb wrestling fan!!! In other news, Gregory Helms also knows how to operate a computer. Here’s Meltzer’s round-up of that mess:

–Shane Helms’ latest on twitter:

“The HOF is great but I take more pride & comfort in the fact that I’ve never “screwjobbed” ANYONE in life or the biz! $$$ isn’t everything.”

Chris Jericho tweeted saying this:

“Shawn Michaels was my favorite opponent & is the greatest performer of all time.”

Helms also replied to Jericho saying:

“BS! Flair did more & got more people over.”

He then continued his rant with these tweets:

“If u got something to say, say it public. Enough ass-kissing. He wasn’t the greatest when he was cussing u out in catering.”

“Flair got over people that absolutely SUCKED!! Shawn hadn’t gotten over anyone but himself in the last decade !! ”

“I’m sorry being honest comes off bad on Twitter, I’m not hating, I’m stating FACTS!! Facts that I would swear by on my life.”

“And wearing a cross doesn’t make u right. Hitler wore one too! Don’t be FOOLED by a TV persona!! I’m always honest. NO ONE can accuse me.”

“If the truth hurts and makes u think differently of me, ur entitled to that. No apologies necessary on either side, we’re all just people.”

“But ignorance is bliss and I’m not gonna lie to my fans just to sell T-shirts. Wrestling talent is not what I was talking about!!!”

“If being a good “sports entertainer” means more to you than being a decent person, then hate on! I’d rather have friends and family.”

Remember the time Flair jobbed to Rico on Raw? Remember all the wonders that very, very meaningful job did for Rico’s career? Meanwhile, the 2000s Shawn Michaels is the finest professional wrestler who ever lived, and his lows (such as the DX nonsense) are at least comparable to Flair’s cartoonish lows. (Mental hospital skits, anyone?) Forgotten in all of this is that Gregory Helms is a waste of human tissue. – Dusty

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