Kevin’s Blog: Almost Live, Definitely Half Assed Review of Raw

It's been a parade of men in trunks as the WWE shows off it's roster for the 40 man Royal Rumble.

Jeremy IMed me last week and said that he was getting the Royal Rumble. For some reason, it hadn’t dawned on me that I could actually buy a pay per view instead of watching it at Dusty’s neighbor. I have decided to join him in purchasing the pay per view so I’m going to type and talk my mind this week. That means I get the week started with a blog and a Leinenkugel Creamy Dark.

The GM screws Edge one last time. At least they’re keeping an ongoing storyline for a change. Someone has a shot at #40. Tyson Kidd is dispatched first. Wow, has Jack Swagger fallen and not just for this challenge. McIntyre is another guy in a downward spiral. “Who wants to see a smashed lap top computer?” Can’t say I ever imagined those words would be uttered on Raw. Even worse that the crowd popped for it. CM Punk and crew come out. Are they trying to show off all 40 competitors tonight? Mason Ryan officially gets a name. CM Punk cuts an OK promo. Barrett gets a crack on the mic. Edge is such a pussy for leaving when Nexus showed up. Nice big man show down. Mystery GM chimes in to make a Barrett vs. Punk match. The loser has their crew yanked from the Rumble. I’m going to have to count the roster size. They are going to exclude some good wrestlers and add jobbers which is royally dumb.

Morrison & Henry take on Sheamus (another guy who’s been in a funk for longer than I expected) & Del Rio. I smell Henry taking a pin. They take a match break at a predictable time.

Mark Henry takes on Sheamus, who looks like a pansy until the Rogue Kick. Del Rio gets the arm bar on Henry. Looks like I was a little off since Henry tapped out. Two heels should not be celebrating and smiling at each other. On should have turned on the other and tossed him out of the ring to prove they’d win on Sunday. Faces played patty cake like that.

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2011 Royal Rumble Random Draw Kick-Ass Pick ‘Em (Kinda) Game

We dont worry too much about copyrights around here.

Isn't this image public domain yet?

Remember the past eleventy billion years when we did that amazing game where you all signed up, then I picked numbers from 1 to 40 out of a Green Bay Packers fitted cap, and whoever had the number of the man who won the Royal Rumble match got bragging rights and a date with their attractive cousin? Well, Stunt Granny wants to share that fun with you again! For this game (which is totally not affiliated with WWE), all you need to do is leave a comment on this post saying you’re interested in playing. DEADLINE IS 6 P.M. CENTRAL, SUNDAY, JAN. 30. At that time, Eric will randomly draw numbers from 1 to 40 in the order you signed up (don’t worry, the four of us won’t play, but Jordan’s eligible again, unless he posts a LOL YouTube video); once Eric gets to the end of the list, he’ll start from the top again, making it first-come, first-served. So if 10 people sign up, everyone gets four numbers. If 39 people sign up, everyone gets one number, but the first person to sign up gets an extra number.

Wait… didn’t that used to be 30 numbers? And more importantly, didn’t that used to be a Baltimore Colts fitted cap? Anyway…

We have nothing to give you, so all you’ll win is the chance to gloat in a comment. But *what a comment!* So sign up today, then order the 2011 WWE Royal Rumble (we’re totally not affiliated with WWE), and take a spot on the edge of your seat! Whoa!

Sid smokes weed? Heh heh heh, cool.

sid son

"I learned it from watching YOU, Dad! I learned it from watching you..."

According to Prowrestling.net, Sid Vicious, aka Sid Justice, aka Psycho Sid, aka Sid Eudy irl (that’s “in real life” for you uncool kids who don’t know Internet language) was arrested Friday for possession of marijuana, driving without a license and driving without a seat belt. Of course he wasn’t wearing a seat belt, he was high! Just kidding. Anyway, according to the report on WMC-TV in Memphis, Sid had 18 grams of pot in a bag on the arm rest of his car. Damn, son! That wasn’t enough to be accused of trafficking (Jeff Hardy, let this be a lesson to you), but someone had to cough up $1,000 to release Sid on bond.

Remember back when Sid used to sniff the air and say, “I smell… I smell a powerbomb!”? I think I know what a powerbomb smells like. -Eric

UPDATE: Apparently 18 grams of weed isn’t a lot. I don’t know, I don’t have a scale in my bedroom. I do have an adrenaline shot in my fridge, though; I’ve seen “Pulp Fiction.”

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