Embarrassingly bad Hulk Hogan parody Twitter links to YouTube video

Whoever the hell came up with the idea of tweeting the pretend thoughts that would come out of Hulk Hogan’s brain is a sick individual and needs to have his Internet taken away. (It was me. Go to www.twitter.com/hulkhogansbrain to read more!). Nonetheless, thanks to a search for “hulk hogan” on Twitter, the above video came to light. Not that there isn’t already a HulkHogan.com, run in conjunction with the Hulkster himself, but it looks like now it’s going to be much more reality TV-like and quite exploitative. You wanna know how many bullets that Dino Bravo brother took to the head, dude? Try stealing a semi full of cigarettes from the Montreal mafia and you’ll find out, Hulkamaniacs! -Eric

Eric’s blog: Shoddy analysis of WWE fourth-quarter financials

"Yes, Mr. Nelson, that *was* very thought-provoking analysis. Oh, oh, this football over here? Oh, umm, pay no attention to, uhhh..." *elbows it off the table*

My dad and I love each other, and he means me no ill feelings when he says this, but I think his favorite joke is, “What’s the difference between a journalism degree and a large pizza? A large pizza can feed a family of four!” That being said, here’s my analysis of WWE’s fourth-quarter figures, as posted on Prowrestling.net. If you want a business perspective on these numbers, that’s what James Caldwell at the Torch is for. I’m a journalist, this is all knee-jerk scoopy and liquor-fueled.

From Vince McMahon:

For the quarter and the full year, our businesses exhibited three major areas of strength: increased value from our television content, significant growth from our new toy licensing partnership with Mattel, and continued financial discipline. These strengths served to mitigate the impact of a weak economy, changes in our talent base, and unfavorable industry trends in home video.

Anaysis: He didn’t define “value” from their TV content here, so it’s hard to say if he meant monetarily as in more advertising dollars coming in thanks to a more family-friendly PG rating, or if he was just speaking all ethereal, like, “Our TV content is way more valuable now that people don’t swear and bleed on purpose.” However, the PG rating does dovetail nicely with the toy licensing deal, as kid-friendly content can translate much more smoothly into the likelihood of a toymaker picking up the phone and saying, “Can we scan the heads of your wrestlers? We think kids will eat that shit up!” The financial discipline thing is nice to hear, too, but it really only amounts to running fewer Smackdown house shows (and saving money on building rental and local advertising) and not renting buildings for shit like WWF New York. If financial discipline has been a problem of yours in the past, maybe stop trying to start up garbage like the XFL or the World Bodybuilding Federation. (Or WWE Films.)

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