Kevin’s Blog: Definitely Live & Half Assed Review of Raw

This is what the Penguins looked like when I flipped to Raw.

Well, I didn’t expect to go live but the Penguins are mauling the Red Wings (Sorry Jeremy!) so I’m going to flip away from the game and check in during commercials.

Cole comes out as “Good Ole'” J.R. It gets me laughing. The predictable insults come from Matthews and Lawler. Good hype for their feud. Do it again next week. No need for more promos from those two. HHH comes to the ring. I could stand not hearing from him for a week but that isn’t going to happen. Oh, by the way, I’m going to the Smackdown tapings tomorrow night so this is a spoiler alert to anyone who reads this site. I will be  Tweeting from there and then will do some sort of write up. I’m afraid of watching one of these promos tomorrow night. I know it’ll happen. I’m just not sure which ones right now. HHH’s biggest match of his life. HHH is doing well. This match is still hard to hype to me. Or at least hype well since I know Taker is going to win. Ted DiBiase comes out and says he might take out HHH to gain noteriety. HHH kills DiBiase. Nice knowing you Ted. This Pedigree isn’t impressing me. The crowd is cheering well enough. I automatically hate anyone who is going to “Change the Face of …”

I’m a bit behind since my computer almost shit the bed. I’ll catch up quick like. Sheamus takes on Bourne. Sheamus gets props for getting out of his losing funk. Someone’s has ended and could go in the right direction easily. Bourne missed his sweetness then Sheamus Brogue Kicks him for the W. Bryan comes out as Sheamus starts to brag. He challenges him to a match at Wrestlemania. Sheamus gives him the Brogue Kick. Nice. That could be a sneaky good match. It’ll get enough time since it’s WM. Catch up time!

Randy Orton comes off a tour bus. What, he’s talking about it? He brings his family with him? What the hell? Orton ends well. He plays sick and twisted well. Maryse takes on Eve. I like the visual look of Sucker Punch. Cole says he has another World Wide Exclusive on Law. I haven’t read any spoilers so my guess is Stacy Carter aka “Miss Kitty”. This women’s match is just getting rolling when Cole interrupts. Maryse gets the knees up on the standing moonsault. Eve  finishes her with a neck breaker that looked better than whatever her finisher used to be. Eve freaks out on Cole. “Miz-tory”. I can’t wait for the slide show.

The Corre gets hyped for taking out Big Show & Kane. Are these 2 clowns going to be their partners? I hope the Corre wins at Wrestlemania. No reason to have the throw away baby face team win. Oh, it’s 4-2 with 13 minutes left. Wings are definitely in it. I can flip after this match. Should have checked for a score earlier. Kozlov gets the 450 splash to give their win some meat. Big Show & Kane come down. Nice retribution finale with the double choke slam on Big Zeke.

Holy shit. Nice to drop another lead guys. What the fuck! I’m going to need to change that picture. Wings tie it up. What a comeback. My teams are folding here recently.

They do a replay of Miz’s attack. Back to the game for a second. What the hell. Good montage that I’m tuning out because it’s the same slick stuff as normal. Cena promises to resolve the problem with The Rock on Raw next week. Cena admits that he did under rate The Miz. Loud Cena sucks chant. Bigger than normal, I’d say. Cole hypes his World Wide Exclusive.

7:41 left in the 3rd. Still tied with Cole & Swagger jogging around the ring. Swagger is just staring at Lawler. Another replay? I am so screwed tomorrow night. Thanks for giving me 2/3 of a show. I paid full price damn it. It’s a Lawler Family Photo album. I’m sure this will be a hoot. Cole uses real pictures to mock his father. Cole says he will put Lawler in his place. Lawler shouldn’t have fallen for the run around the corner clothesline.That’s even older than Lawler. Swagger Ankle Locks Lawler then lets Cole take over.Cole & Swagger point at the WM sign. I flip to the game.

They make it to OT. I’ll take it. Keeps them above Tampa for #4. I wanted to go to the Consol Energy Center for the first season. I may have to hit the playoffs to get that mission accomplished. Snooki review. Back to the game.Dolph looks to be taking on Morrison. Trish on the cover of Oxygen. WWE scoring all kinds of publicity points with her. They have to advertise Jersey Shore season finale. I flip to the game. 1:27 left in OT. The match is stil hapening. I flip again. They go to a shoot out. Cole is reading from the computer. Oh, it’s the WM match without Snooki plus Vickie.

The match is happening. Round 3 starts. Broken stick, that sucks. James Neal comes through. Go  Pens. Back to Raw for good. Vickie gets the beat down tag but Trish gets Morrison in. Trish shows thong. Zig Zag then tags in Vickie. She gets the cheap win. Dolph should be proud of Dustin Kilgore who won the National Championship in wrestling at 197.

Sin Cara has to come to Raw after all of this hype, right? Matthews throws it to a clip of the WWE Superstars talking about HHH and Undertaker.Nice work. This stuff is working for me way more than HHH or UT are doing for me. Orton comes to the ring for a Wrestlemania rewind match. Rey Mysterio is hyped before the commercial.

Cole explains the audio we missed since it got botched. How does that happen with a pre-produced piece? I’m not really buying this comedy bit Cody is doing. I hope it’s only used until WM. Orton tosses Rey out to the floor stomach first. Nifty reversal out of the cradle DDT. Oh, this is why the bus is important. Orton tears off. Punk ambushes him. Punk finishes with a stomp of the head. Randy’s wife looks horrified. Somebody call help? Bitch, you have a cell phone!

Wow, UT accepted HHH’s Face to Face challenge for the last Raw before WM. I’m shocked. Riley seems to have gotten a gig as Miz’s announcer. Whitey always trying to take the Mexicans jobs. Miz had the belt turned around to look like it’s an M. I’m laughing. Not hilarious though. Cena interrupts via satellite. Cena is in front of the Lemeiux wall. Wow is he trying to milk everyone in his favor. Someone is using the bar table as a shield. Cena is getting bat up but ten picks them off. He locks on the STF. He locks it in thrice. People cheer. I get to watch Hawaii Five-O. – Kevin

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