Kevin’s Blog: Definitely Live & Half Assed Review of Raw

Big Week here at Stunt Granny HQ.

I typed in “Big Week” in the Google image search. I had a hard time figuring out why this would be under that category. I guess spring break is a big week. I only had a real spring break when I was studying over in Italy. That ruled.

CM Punk is sitting Indian style in the ring. Nice start. Never would think they’d go in this direction. Huge reaction for him. Are we in Canada? An excellent choice for an opener. This feud needed more time on TV than it has gotten. Punk gets the DDT. Randall thinking about the punt.  Crowd against Punk now. Keith collapses under his own weight. Crowd chants CM Punk. I’m confused. Randy chant. Make up your mind.Orton is playing hurt well. Punk hits the GTS but gets to lose at Wrestlemania. Punk is one of the few people to not get embarrassed in his hometown.

Edge explains that he can attack Del Rio on Raw. Christian and him are headed to the ring.

Grabbed myself a beer. Yuengling rocks. I’m trying out how to pimp this blog. Flipping through my Twitter as Del Rio takes his grand time getting to the ring. Dana White pimped the #WWE because his boy the Rock is on Raw. Nothing going on in the match with Clay starting for the heels.

Clay has to be called impressive. Dude has had 3 matches in the last week. Who was the winner of NXT again? Del Rio trips up Edge going for the spear. Edge ends up giving it to Clay anyway. Del Rio attacks Christian, Edge runs him off. Del Rio gives Edge the Cross Arm Breaker. Guess we know two winners on Sunday now. Del Rio shouldn’t win the title already anyway. Talk about too much, too soon. Oh my lord, the “bar” that Snooki & Trish are at is terrible.

Why is Cole pimping an iPad? Is he supposed to be slick and cool like the Miz because of it? Cole tells King he has to wrestle Swagger. Not much meat to sink my teeth into writing wise so far. They’re highlighting the matches so I can’t bitch. South Park’s “Montage” will never leave my had as they show video of HHH & Undertaker.

They announce the Corre vs. Big Show/Kane/Santino & Kozlov conglomerate. Santino vs. Gabriel for the time being. Cole still going for the four equals baloney. Crowd goes ape for the Cobra. Gabriel takes the lose so that he can win with the 450 on Sunday. I’ll take that trade off.  Kane doing the trumpet is among the things I didn’t think I’d see. This game (WWE All Stars) looks bad ass. I haven’t had a gaming system in years though. Jeremy did give me a Play Station when he got 2. I used it for about 6 months then stopped.

Getting more followers on my personal Twitter feed. Let’s hope that can translate into more Stunt Granny fans. Keri Hilson. I had no idea who she was.  I’m more worried about the Tweeting because this show is boring if you’ve been following the build up. The opening semgent was the only one with some meat. Let’s hope this one is a bit better. It’s the mid main event for a reason. Stare down part Zwei. Shawn Michaels spices things up for sure. I wonder if he’ll make UT his inductor to piss off Hunter so he can beat the streak. Did HBK turn into Don King? Who needs #managers? Shawn turns on HHH. Spicy! HHH doing most of the talking which is a good thing. Taker is good at staring. HHH telling Taker it’s time to retire. They’re tossing on good flavors in this segment. See I pay attention when it’s not garbage hype. Why is the director loking at Shawn and not Taker & HHH? Shawn acts scared in the corner. He walks away from the ring. Damn man. Great hype and neither of these guys hav been in the ring wrestling since they got on TV. Tak chuckles at HHH and leaves. Great stuff.

I’m in technology overload. More followers and recruiting more for Stuntgranny. Double duty for a busy week. Is Matthews doing the announcing by himself? I’m waiting for an ankle lock. This match bores me already. King goes with the chair. Easy hype. Not sure why King couldn’t have jobbed.

Nelson said Lawler’s music changed. Guess I was asleep at the switch.

Cole celebrates Vickie’s rip off entrance way too much. Wow, Chicago, New York, Atlanta all in a week. Sounds like a buy flight schedule. Sheamus has no cape, confirms that the King gimmick is over. Killer. Bryan could get a big win now over Sheamus and they could still catapult Sheamus back up the ladder. I don’t get the history book problem. Wouldn’t anyone assume there was interference for Vickie to beat Morrison?

Sheamus wins clean so there’s a good chance my theory holds. Orton is dejected and asked if he’ll make it to Wrestlemania. Orton goes obvious but delivers it very well. That match is getting the best hype tonight.

Of course my computer would take a big shit during the Trish/Snooki cat fight. Best hype they could give that part of the match even if it was at the fakest bar ever.

Back to Almost Live status. Not what I wanted but you have to roll with the punches. Rock on the Titantron before he enters. Oh my gawd, I’m going to stop following Rock on Twitter. #TeamBringIt can suck my dick. I’m a positive guy but this is down right annoying. Cena delivering on his end so far. Miz gets the last part. Cena killing it. Miz coming out which is where Mike Tenay would say something. I feel obligated to bash him in big spots where announcers need to shut up.

Miz gets the last intro as Rock & Cena are ready to throw down. Miz bringing up great points while kills it. People are bringing their A game on the mic.  Rock gets the people’s elbow on Miz, Cena gets the Attitude Adjustment on Rock. Nice. Miz & Cena don’t touch. The big guns delivered tonight. the fodder was the fodder. – Kevin

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