Stunt Granny Big 11 Week Ending 4/23/11

1. 1-2-3 Kid – The King of Trios tournament in Chikara Pro Wrestling has been the talk of the town, and Sean Waltman, aka 1-2-3 Kid, has been the talk of the talk of the town. Glad he got over his hepatitis long enough to wrestle, have some fun, entertain the nerds, Tweet about being in a wheelchair in the airport after the weekend, and still have time to plan an intervention for Scott Hall. – Eric

2. Scott Hall – I bet enough people remember Scott Hall that an NWO reunion on A&E’s “Intervention” would draw a decent rating. “Did you guys come here to watch… dogthebountyhunter? Or are you here for the hot mess we call the….” *crickets chirp* “One more for the good guys.” – Eric

3. Jay Lethal – Lethal was the latest new-generation wrestler released by TNA — on his god damn birthday, no less — because they have fuck-all for management and foresight. Maybe I’m in the minority, but if I had money to blow to start a wrestling company, Lethal would be a top-10 pick, for sure. He’s 25 years old, he’ll outgrow the Black Machismo costume, don’t worry. – Eric

4. Sin Cara & John Cena – Sin Cara got a big chant going for himself but John Cena killed it because the whole audience doesn’t like him. I’m not sure why the WWE continues to let Cena give “rubs” to people. Cena is a huge star, just don’t have him do this aspect of his job. The WWE should also note that some wrestlers can get over without speaking a word like Sin Cara. – Kevin

5. Johnny Gargano – He’s been a staple of Pro Wrestling Ohio but is now “out indefinitely”. In the mean time, he’s in EVOLVE and got big wins over Jon Davis and Chuck Taylor to become the wins leader in the league. He’s got a couple of big mentions on Twitter (@JohnnyGargano). It’s only a matter of time until TNA or the WWE comes calling but for the time being I hope to see him back in PWO since I can actually watch that show. – Kevin

6. Stacy Keibler – I saw her when she was on Chuck recently. Now she pops up on Tough Enough to help with the cheer squad routine. Many people wondered if Stacy was making her way back into the WWE. According to her interview on MayhemNightMayhem.com, she will not be coming back any time soon. Evidently because she has so much in the works according to her iMDB page. – Kevin

7. Matt Hardy – Matt Hardy claimed he had a broken arm after Lockdown. Turns out it was just strained from bench pressing forty-seven thirty-pound containers of Mint Chocolate Chip Double Fudge Ice Cream with deep fried pork rhines in to that gape he calls a mouth. -Jeremy

8. TNA Lockdown – What a perfect PPV. You put a bunch of older wrestlers you can’t fire for fear of paying off large sums of money, in a cage and let them do all sorts of dangerous moves in the hopes one of them hurts themselves so severely you can cut their ass for not being able to perform. Who says TNA has no heart? – Jeremy

9. Signs at wrestling shows – If I had any type of control whatsoever, I would ban signs completely from wrestling shows. I think they are ridiculous, unnecessary and a bother to people who just want to come to a show to actually watch the show, and not just look at the back of your idiotic sign all night. However, if you put a gun to my head and forced me to allow signs under a condition, I would make that condition for you to have to be able to spell properly. Please. – Dusty

10. Superstar Billy Graham – So the Superstar is all butthurt now because WWE decided to put Abdullah the Butcher into their total fake, completely arbitrary Hall of Fame because Abby is a garbage wrestler or something. Abby meanwhile is confused about all of this, justifiably so since he can probably still, to this day, main event any indy show in the world, and has helped Graham financially over the years as well. Lesson learned: the only words that come out of Graham’s mouth are nonsense words. – Dusty

11. The Ultimate Fighter 13 – Not necessarily wrestling related, but everyone reading this should be watching this season of TUF on the reg, if only to count how many times Brock Lesnar uses the phrase “turn chicken shit into chicken salad.” – Dusty

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