Batista claims UFC-Strikeforce merger ended his MMA career (*cough*)

Nope, no red flags here.

According to Prowrestling.net, Dave Batista is claiming that his pending deal with MMA company Strikeforce fell through due to UFC’s purchase of the brand. According to my calendar, my lung doctor and my brittle friend who loves steroids and my friend who lives in reality, Batista’s MMA deal is falling through because he’s 42 years old, he’s an asthmatic with no otherwise obvious cardiovascular conditioning, years of (alleged) steroid use have made his muscles cracklier than oat bran, and he’s not worth the money to any MMA company that he’s been asking for. With Undertaker on his annual and ever-growing vacation, Triple H transitioning further into an office position, and Edge recently retiring due to injury, does this mean Batista would be welcome back with open arms? Maybe, but he’d get gassed running toward the embrace. Offer him 20 dates and a hot angle as The Rock’s muscle leading up to WrestleMania 28 and I bet he’d do it for an inhaler and a clean syringe. -Eric

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