Smackdown Spoilers

Eric is tweeting from one of these cities.

My job tonight is simple, compile Eric’s tweets and maybe add some commentary. Should be easy enough. I’m not keeping up with him but will hit his early tweets now and refresh this post later. To make it more official, we’ll even stick a read more button in here in case you want the results of Smackdown to be a secret.

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Stunt Granny Lunch Conversation: Jeremy & Kevin, May 31, 2011

Jeremy: I enjoyed the show more than you I think.
Kevin: Aside from the ending. Wow, Twitter rant!
Jeremy: I need the time to write out my exact thoughts but that was a perfectly fine wrestling show. As soon as Cena comes up and boom goes the dynamite. More gimmick shit to cover the fact he can’t work.
Kevin: I still have no idea what you’re talking about. How is R-Truth resting on the outside Cena’s fault?
Jeremy: What was Cena’s last match? That shitty gimmick match with Miz. Before that? another clunker with Miz at WrestleMania. there was one in the middle. It is just one bad match after another. You can’t blame the dance partner when there is one constant.
Kevin: I can’t argue with the Miz examples but I don’t think last night can be used. Lots of gimmick stuff in there to get R Truth’s new persona over
Jeremy: But man, it is another gimmickfest that stunk the joint out and Cena is involved yet again. They could have had an actual contest and had truth still do same thing. Also that heavy handed crap with the dad at the end was good until Cena started patting the guy on the head like a dog.
Jeremy: Wait.
Jeremy: I am supporting R-Truth? Kill me now. I am done.
Kevin: Easy to support R-Truth but he isn’t exactly a wizard in the ring either.
Jeremy: Oh god no. In no way is their match going to be good. He got by at the beginning of TNA on his vocals not the in ring part.  Good to know you can shut a PPV off at 10:35 and not miss anything though.
Kevin: That’s going to be viewing for my own amusement, train wreck style
Jeremy: As long as they put The Bellas on first it will be fine. Another god damn waster.
Kevin: At least they got something to make people care about them this week. You sound more down on the show than me already. I need to re-read my column.
Jeremy: Those are my only complaints. I have hated the Bellas for a while though.
Kevin: So, you still hate them?  Or weren’t you on board with last night?
Jeremy: As soon as I saw them come out it hit me that they are using them to replace Laycool. As bad as Laycool was, The Bellas are way worse.
Kevin: Not possible, except neither of them is a good looking as either McCool or Layla.
Jeremy: It’s like they are pretending to be Laycool but they come off as nerd kids play fighting.
Kevin: Everyone in the women’s division comes off that way because they’ve taken a dump on them for 2 straight years, at least.
Jeremy: Maryse is ok, Eve got better. Natalya is one of the bad ones
Kevin: Kelly Kelly got better too but she depends on movement in her matches to cover up for her lack of strength.
Jeremy: Yeah using her hair especially.
Kevin: And again, you’re going bananas about last night and I still can’t remember what I said negative about the show.
Jeremy: Think I liked Dolph/Kofi better.
Kevin: Wow, one match that wasn’t nearly a major angle like the Bellas or Cena/Truth. And it was probably because Dolph’s hair is dyed.
Jeremy: Kofi is sloppy but for some reason it worked last night. The action seemed genuine.
Kevin Difrango: I was getting into the post commercial break until that botched sequence. Match was good for the 2nd half, Outside of that part. I blew the Punk/Rey match.
Jeremy: Yeah those guys need to go again for longer. No stips other than one guy beating the other but that is a fanboy thing.
Kevin: I liked the Kharma segment.
Jeremy: Yes I enjoyed it very much. At first I was a little worried then she killed. She was on point, her voice is stronger than I expected, she still looked like a badass by the end as well as building anticipation for the next go around, which I hope happens.
Kevin: Yeah, they’d be dumb not to keep her even if she killed a massive push. And they’d have time to make the women’s division respectable while she’s gone.
Jeremy: Key issue is making the divas respectable. Eve would be fine; she has a nice muscular build that makes her look a threat. Beth of course. Tamina I suppose.
Kevin: That’s why I noted the women’s division getting a minor push this week. Not sure the last time they got 2 segments on Raw. Those 3 are the logical size-wise opponents for Kharma. Along with Twin Magic since it’s 2 of them.
Jeremy: Yeah and if they bump like crazy for her it would work.
Kevin: I still don’t have a lot of faith in them.
Jeremy: Nor should you/we.

Eric of Stunt Granny to Tweet live during WWE Smackdown tapings

WWE Smackdown will be taped tonight from Wells Fargo Arena in Des Moines, Iowa, and Stunt Granny’s own Eric Nelson will be there! Keep in mind that Eric hasn’t watched an episode of Smackdown since, probably, January and couldn’t name five guys on that show’s roster, but he’s sure it’ll be a hoot. (Attending the show with Eric is his poor girlfriend Carly, who will be bored out of her mind since she only knows the superstars of Raw and since Eric will be on his phone incessantly Tweeting all night like a dweeb or Keith Lipinski.) Check back here periodically for updates on StuntGranny.com, but make sure to follow us on Twitter (@stuntgranny) for regular Tweets throughout the night, starting around 6:30 p.m. central.

Kevin’s Blog: Almost Live, Definitely Half Assed Review of Raw

I watched Tough Enough first. I waited to watch Raw.

I couldn’t quite pass up watching this show. Austin screwing with them at the ending is awesome. This show he is coming away looking the best. He’s rattling cages. Not too surprised Jeremiah got booted. The show seemed to be leaning that way. He can get into wrestling easy with more time. Andy has more stepping to do to win this competition.

Starting my viewing at 9:45. I should be able to catch up. It’d be nice to be ready for bed at a decent time. Nice little troops tribute. We go black then R-Truth pops on the screen with no sound. Is this planned? A sign, more black back to the no sound R Truth. Always a fun gimmick. We get a little bit of sound. Cole calling Truth bizarre. They are playing the problems as an angle. Nice of Truth to find the plant family. Sound is acting dumb again. I’m all for different beginnings but this sucks. I do dig the crazy R Truth guy. Wow, who is the broad in the front row in the tie top ref’s jersey. She’s pretty fucking hot. R Truth versus Cena in the main event.

Kharma to speak live? What the hell, she’s got to explain the pregnancy? Awesome.

Kofi Kingston takes on my boy Dolph Ziggler, who went to Kent State. Oh, did I mention that their baseball team is ranked #25 and just won the MAC regular season and tournament securing a bid in regionals for the third time in four years? You didn’t think I’d pass up a chance to toot horns, did you? Cole apologizes to Lawler again. At least they acknowledged the awkwardness. Vickie is looking better these days. Still can’t fix that face though. The match was not impressing me early. It barely got traction before the commercial.

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PWO – Season 4 – Episode 13

PWO is getting "Hammered" again.

Joe Dombrowski points to someone who ends up being Aaron Maguire who is wearing a neck brace. Dombrowski wonders if Maguire is on drugs. (I sure hope so after a neck injury) Krimson versus Gregory Iron is the main event. Greg “The Hammer” Valentine is going to be interviewed by Dombrowski. N8 Mattson takes on Ben Fruith.

Bobby Beverly came out to defend the TV Title against Michael “The Bomber” Facade. Pedro De Lucca did formal introductions. Both Aeroform and Sex Appeal are banned from ring side. Exchanges of mat moves started things. They exchanged kicks to the gut. Beverly got a two after a suplex. Botched move where the opponents barely bummed shoulders then Beverly had to punch Facade. Facade twirled multiple time for a head scissors take over. Pescado onto Beverly on the outside sends us to commercial.

Analysis: The opening to this match was terrible. Not only was that incident botched, Facade looked to be going 50% in the ring. Not his usual speed. Beverly looked fine. Score: -1.

Facade missed a spring board moonsault but got a two count out of it. Beverly drop kicked Facade’s knee then gave him an enziguri. Crisp looking snap driver from Beverly.  Beverly danced like he was going for a thrust kick. When he went for it, Facade grabbed his leg and turned into an ankle lock. Jason Gory came from nowhere and jumped up on the ring apron, Facade shoulder blocked him to the guard rail and looked at him. Beverly caught Facade with the thrust kick when he turned around. Beverly got the victory. Dombrowski blamed the loss on Gory. Gory came back into the ring and got into Beverly’s face. Beverly swung at Gory who locked in a choke hold and covered his mouth. Gory put the TV Title on Beverly’s chest then stomped on it. Gory left the ring. Maguire sided with Gory’s blatant choke.

Analysis: I made sure I noted Maguire’s stance because that would seem to tell me (along with Dombrowski complaining about Gory) that they’re positioning Beverly as a face. They’d have to turn the rest of Sex Appeal or have Beverly go out on his own and let Bobby Shields & Nicki Valentino as heels. That’s early speculation though, nothing wrong about doing it this way. I mentioned the TV Title log jam in the last episode, turning one of the heels face is another way to solve that log jam. Same song as the first half of this match in terms of execution.

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Stunt Granny Big 11 Week Ending 5/28/11

1. Chyna – The girl is back at it again and backing it up with two gay porn guys. It may not be confirmed her co-stars are gay but have you ever watched porn? No way are those guys straight. No straight male looks at his rod pistoning some sweet vagina and looks disgusted. Sure we have all had our share of pigs but even that is no excuse. – Jeremy

2. Kharma – Sticking with the boot knocking, she is pregnant. It’s not like there is a good time to have a kid but this is a bad time to have a kid. She was getting a mega-push on a national television show. If she was in TNA this would be better news since no one cares about them anyway. – Jeremy

3. Ric Flair – Can he now add fugitive to his long list of accomplishments? He owes money and autographs to HighSpots and that sentence couldn’t be funnier. The man owes signatures, ink from a pen he is holding as payment. The justice system sucks a dick. Unless of course he has to sign with his mouth like he is pushing a wheelchair.-  Jeremy

4. Hulk Hogan – He took his “Hulk Hogan and Friends” tour back on the road, trotting out such Saturday Night’s Main Event-era cronies as Koko B. Ware, Greg Valentine and the Nasty Boys to share stories about how great Hogan, Andre the Giant, Hogan, Macho Man Randy Savage and Hogan are. Did you know Hulk tore up his entire back bodyslamming Andre while fearfully accepting the torch from the angry Giant? I think Pontiac Silverdome’s attendance is up to about seven hundred thousand now. – Eric

5. Eric Bischoff – He and Jason Hervey got a show concept starring Cee-Lo Green, um, green-lit; he was seen with Bill Goldberg, possibly courting him for TNA; and he spoke eloquently on why Ring of Honor’s sale to Sinclair Broadcast Group means next to nothing in the big scheme of things. Say what you will, but he’s a *busy* douchebag. – Eric

6. Carly – My girlfriend and I caught the end of Raw this week, and when she saw Rey Mysterio — black mask, black pants and dark tattoos — standing on the second rope, emotively encouraging the crowd to clap as John Cena crawled to the corner for the hot tag, she glared at the screen, paused for about half a second, then declared, “Fag.” I love her. – Eric

7. Tough Enough – We’re down to three contestants – Jeremiah, who is having problems not killing his opponent in the ring but has the best charisma; Luke, who is cockier than he should be because he’s not that special but his look definitely fits into the WWE; and Andy, who the WWE probably likes because he’s tall and they can probably give him some “vitamins” to become a monster. The finale is on Memorial Day. Too bad that the only star (re)made out of this show will be Steve Austin and possibly Bill DeMott. – Kevin

8. CM Punk – You’ve got to love this guy whether he’s performing in the ring or skewering someone on Twitter (@CMPunk, for us go to @StuntGranny). Though he proclaims to not want to get the cheers of the fans, he clearly does little and big things in the ring to get the cheers. This week, he wore pink trunks and yellow boots (a staple Macho Man color scheme) then went for the top rope elbow. If the WWE doesn’t resign him, I’m sure they’ll keep their same 3 point something rating. – Kevin

9. Jacques Rougeau – Rockin’ the newsreel lately. Peep this:

Jacques Rougeau Jr had his last match last night.

The match was the main event of the long scheduled last show of the Rougeau Gym winter/spring tour in Drummondville, saw 5000 people pack the Marcel Dionne Centre (150000$ gate). Rougeau worked a tag team match with his oldest son Jean-Jacques.

After the match, Rougeau removed his wrestling gear (Pads and boots) and threw them in the crowd. He then said that he still felt good but that at age 50, it was time to go. He said he felt that the Rougeau name would live on forever thanks to his 3 sons (more on that later) and the rest of the roster.

At a press conference after the show, he announced that he would graduate an unprecedented 20 students class in July which will double the roster size of his promotion. He also said he was considering running full-time rather than doing tours, and that he was in discussions with Quebecor about having a weekly TV show on the upcoming TVA Sports channel.

This show was marked by the return of Cedric Rougeau, the 2nd oldest son of Jacques’ who had dissapeared years ago due to “injury”. Cedric had been working matches under a mask with midgets as a kid but towards the end he had gotten too big for midget matches and too small / frail for full-sized matches. Many people had speculated that the “injury” was in fact puberty.

Well, the days of being too small for anything are OVER for Mr. Rougeau: He re-emerged, at 17 years old, as a hulking, muscular, Lesnar-sized 6’7″ behemoth. He will start working regular matches in July. If he can work, and there’s no indications showing me that he can’t, this guy will one day sell out the Bell Centre for Rougeau Gym.

Sunny days ahead for Montreal wrestling!

Here’s a family picture taken last night showing, from left to right: little Emile Rougeau (working midget matches until he gets “injured…” but the “midget” he works with seems to grow up too…they’re both larger than midgets now.), the hulking Cedric Rougeau, the smaller but talented J.J. Rougeau, and papa Jacques.

And then there’s the little matter of this video:

Thanks to Miquelio for that. – Dusty

10. Averno – WWE is playing small ball! Read:

Super Luchas reported on their cover today that Averno will be signing with WWE and most likely dropping his mask to La Mascara at CMLL’s next big show on June 17th.The story claims that he had a tryout match with WWE last fall and did well, but WWE was concerned about his age. However, Sin Cara isn’t getting over like they thought he would feuding with guys like Chavo Guerrero Sr., and so the idea is they need to bring in someone who can work his style and showcase his strengths, which Averno can do. The story claims WWE is looking at two other young CMLL luchadors as well.  
 
I’m not sure in today’s wrestling environment this is the best way to get Sin Cara over. He just needs to fight American professional wrestlers that can actually wrestle, as opposed to Chavo Guerrero. In fact, he’d be better off facing Chavo Classic at this point than Chavo Jr. An extended feud with, say, Evan Bourne could potentially elevate both of them. Obviously that is not in the cards. – Dusty
 
11. Cats are awesome – They fucking are. – Dusty
 

Ted DiBiase talks WWE Smackdown, Randy Savage, his sons with Iowa newspaper

million dollar man

See, he *looks* unassuming...

In a story published in today’s Waterloo-Cedar Falls Courier (hey, I was a copy editor at that paper for three years!), writer Amie Steffen (hey, I used to work with her!) interviewed “The Million Dollar Man” Ted DiBiase about the WWE Smackdown house show this Monday, May 30, at the McLeod Center in Cedar Falls, Iowa (hey, I used to live there!). (That still doesn’t give me the go-ahead to republish this copyrighted information, but what are they gonna sue me for? They only paid me $13 an hour, it’s not like I have money.) On the devious tactics he may employ when he comes to Cedar Falls:

I might be offering somebody money to do push-ups, I might give someone 500 bucks for dribbling a basketball. … That’s the thing about me. When I show up in town, you never know what’s gonna happen.

The last time I saw him in Waterloo was at the National Wrestling Hall of Fame Dan Gable Museum, where he blew past a mentally handicapped boy who was trying to say “hi.” But that’s neither here nor there. About his son, Ted DiBiase, Jr., getting into the “family business” of professional wrestling:

He’s been good. I mean, he came out of the starting blocks pretty fast.

That’s all he was quoted as saying, which is code for, “He’s not one-tenth as good as I was. I treat him like that retarded boy at the hall of fame.” And on the passing of Macho Man Randy Savage:

Randy was a very big part of my first and second year… I enjoyed him. He was a pro, a real pro. … He was 58. I mean, I’m 57.

Oh shit! Does that mean I have one year to draft a post titled, “Ted DiBiase, 58, trampled by angry mentally handicapped mob”? Wow, sorry, I guess that event really rubbed me the wrong way. Maybe because that handicapped boy was… me 😦  -Eric

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