Kevin’s Blog: Definitely Live & Half Assed Review of Raw

Party in Miami!

So they start with the Patriot Opening. I’m a little surprised but not by much. Nice to see  Lilian Garcia. Good singer. Bad career choice still. No one can chant “USA” like a wrestling crowd. Poor Josh Matthews has to go from that tribute to the Rock’s Birthday party. Cole gets the easy sell with the Championship match. I’m having to explain too much to my friend Sean. He’s suffering by not watching the Bruins. He’s too lazy to leave and watch them elsewhere. Rock goes from tribute to regular promo. The GM loves to interrupt the Rock. Rock gets to play games with Michael Cole just like old times. Cole going for the cheap boos. How pathetic and obviously pre-planned. The GM is going to shut down the Party if the Rock doesn’t apologize. Cole wants an apology too. Rock goes for the hand shake. Does Cole fall for this? Why are there two big Sin Cara masks in the background? Cole gets Rock Bottomed and Elbowed. Pitbull comes out. He’s a rapper, right? I guess not. Dance music, huh? Interesting choice. What a long segment. They’re going to need to take 15 minutes of commercials.

I’m definitely going to half ass this show by flipping to the Bruins/Flyers. R Truth attacked Morrison before the match. Morrison is a good guy to pick on to get heat. R Truth gets a big cheap shot in on the ramp. Back to commercial.

It’s hard to flip away from the game. I love close games in the playoffs with overtime looming. So did Kharma chose Smackdown since she attacked McCool? Nope. Why is KK still in there? So Kharma is a face? I kind of like the intrigue. Miz explains why Riley can be on both shows.Miz is going to be champ again. Good for him.

Samuel is making himself look older just by wearing that outfit.I love the fake party. Nice way to pimp his movies. Ron Simmons rules! More commercials.

Steve Carell didn’t quite sell that enough. Always funny having to play Wrestling History with Sean. Just had to explain who Ron Simmons was. The explain why this match is the mid main event. So good hearing J.R. Matthews still needs to insert himself more to me. Miz with the double axe handle. He stole it from the Macho Man!

Miz should know not to go for the same move twice in a match. You always miss the second one. Miz makes it to the ropes. Miz combo doesn’t get the count. The announcers don’t call it by it’s old name and I forget what it is right now. It used to be his finisher. Miz tries to cheat and win but fails. Cena with an Attitude Adjustment out of the blue but Miz kicks out. Good call. That helps Miz’s credibility a lot. Miz gets the cheap win on the second try. Oh, maybe not did the “referee” catch him after the match? Reverse decision. Cena gets a little revenge after the match.

Jack Swagger & McIntyre looked really gay with the push up gimmick. This match is all for new residents of Raw. Nice I suppose. More commercials. I knew they’d need to catch up but this is crazy overboard.

8:30 left in OT. Love it. Tension central especially for Philly. They need one at home. Back to the show. Del Rio going with the Destiny gimmick and are they really trying to rekindle the Rey feud? Rey gets the win over McIntyre. He’s screwed already on Raw. Not surprised. The Chosen One is sinking quickly. Looks like we’re on for Rey vs. Del Rio, Raw version. We flip back to see that the Bruins have won. Wow. Tim Thomas coming through big time.

Rock congratulates Christian. Huge moment for him. At least David Hart Smith doesn’t have his cowboy hat on. Rock kisses Mae. Nice touch. Cena gets to overshadow all of the earlier proceedings. Great segment.

Mason Ryan takes on Kane in what is practically the main event. The next segment is short, right? Nice show of strength by Ryan.  Wow, after the interference DQ, Ryan gets to show off the strength more. The spear by Ryan does in the Big Show. Wow, are they giving him the spotlight. Even the announcers are selling it. The rest of Nexus sells it. Punk shouldn’t be really. More party, yeah.

Rock sending us home. How late will this run? I’m going to need to tape Law & Order so that I get all of Tough Enough. Going for the late showing so I could watch the hockey. Vince McMahon with a big appearance. Is he getting Rcok to choke up? Are they really springing this on him? Nice. Cool slick package as always. Rock is holding it in nicely. Maya sings Happy Birthday. I know why they took all of the commercial breaks now. Sean thinks this is the strangest thing he’s ever seen. Big send off for sure. – Kevin

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