Kevin’s Blog: Almost Live, Definitely Half Assed Review of Raw

Get it, hefeweizen!

No witty introduction this week.  I went out with some friends and had a couple of beers (Elevator Brewing Company Heiferweizen from here in good old Columbus). One of them is heading to Iraq as a contractor but that isn’t sparking me for a picture so I’ll wait until the inspiration hits me.

A-Ri interrupts Cena. He calls up Anti-Cena video. Good for him. He introduces the Miz. He goes for the cheap Spurs heat. Good for him. They do a good job of making Riley being well dressed but Miz looking sharper. Cena does the dumb jokes that make older gentlemen hate him.  Ahh, serious turn Cena. I really dug when he talked about seeing the fear in Miz’s eyes. Miz gets to deliver a dumb line after the GM’s ruling. Commercial?

Kofi takes on CM Punk. He needs some ring time after Ryan got all of it the past 2 weeks. Cole did a good job of defending Punk’s credentials. Then he says faith drives your life. Faith doesn’t drive my life. A want to be better does. To make more money does. Not faith. Kofi rightfully misses the high punches. GTS. Good win. Punk gets the mic. Nice to have a mission statement. Now if they actually push them. I mean Otunga & McGillicutty could be a tag team but that’s dead horse made into glue territory. Ryan gets a middle level push, get the US Title from Kofi maybe.

Poor Matthews has to hype the Women’s division. No twin magic so no win. Shocker. Kharma is looming. She  locks in on Kelly Kelly. Only one Bella does after her. These are two dumb broads. Plant a kiss on her! Kharma just flicks her on the head. Weird. The fans don’t know how to act but she’s getting some response.

If you think I watched that awful commercial for Orton’s movie, you haven’t read this blog before. That’s why I watch it almost live. Rey talks about Truth. The call out gets the commercial.

Del Rio comes out instead. They trade Mexican insults. Rey challenges Del Rio to a match. another commercial break as Del Rio takes over the match.

Del Rio is still in control after the break. It is more about the announcers bickering as things go along. Truth interrupts so that Rey can lose. Rey gets a near fall. Rich Rod interferes to cost Del Rio the match. Alberto goes to work on Rey. Truth gets to pick the bones for boos. I do like Truth a bit more as a heel. Truth really nailing home the heel factor.

Cole made it a “Kiss My Foot Match”. Oh no!  I’m concerned. (That’s sarcasm.) Nice clip of Lawler & The Hitman. Still doesn’t do anything for me. If Cole’s foot look like that, it’d need to be amputated. Lawler gets to respond. Cole getting himself in hot water. Swagger needs to capitalize if they push him this way. Used car sales mode for Cole. This bullying thing cracks me up. the reason I started out was to keep the bully from picking on me. It’s been a great thing for my health and I didn’t get beat up.

McGillicutty & Otunga get to take on the champs. Maybe my pipe dream has some reality in it. Oh, it’s Punk & Ryan on Sunday. It’d give Punk something to do. Keep him on both shows. They need to use those belts more wisely one way or the other. Kane gets the hot tag. I’m just expecting the obvious in this match. The tag belts are in trouble Sunday. Not really but we like to play pretend in wrestling.

Scott Standford, because he’s on Zach Ryder’s show.  the Big Show & Kane go through the motions for a promo. Ryder gets face time on Raw, barely.

Swagger gets to take on Cena. This match won’t be a push. He’s got to lose. Back and forth chants dominate the match.

Swagger dominates the match after the break. Quick turn around by Cena and a fairly quick tap by Swagger. Naturally. Miz doing a great job with his promo. Cena ends strong too. Just wish he did that more. Time for Chuck. Seems to be more popular at the office these days. -Kevin

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