Instant Kharma’s Gonna Get You

So like, I have a question for internet fans. What is more likely to take a woman nine months: recovering from a back injury, or a pregnancy? Because like, I’m just wondering, you know? – Dusty

Kurt Angle looking to win gold medal in freestyle delusion

To paraphrase Cracker, the world needs another reality show like I need a hole in my head.

Kurt Angle on twitter said that he would be doing a reality show which would be based on him training and trying to qualify for the Olympics in wrestling. Angle would be 43 by the time the Olympics take place. He said he would officially announce his return to amateur wrestling competition in September. This probably won’t go well, at least as far as Angle doing well at the competitive level.

I also want to point out, for no particular reason whatsoever, that the Olympics does drug testing. – Dusty

Ric Flair said to the judge, “I’ve been framed!”

And the judge said, “Yeah, you like an eight by ten!”

Ric Flair was charged today with contempt of court in a ruling issued by Superior Court in Mecklenberg County. Flair had agreed to pay Michael Bochicchio and Highspots Inc. $35,000 and autograph 300 pictures by 4/29 in a settlement for money Highspots claimed was owed to them by advancing Flair money. The court believed that Flair had the assets and income to where he could afford to comply with the agreement and had failed to do so. The order is that Flair can be put in prison for up to 90 days as long as he remains in contempt by not paying what was owed. Unless he complies with the terms of the agreement, he would be ordered to prison on 6/27

While the fact that Ric Flair has turned into this total mess of a human being is enough to make me want to grab my head in frustration, I also have this here website in which schadenfreude is the order of the day. And schadenfreude is going to win that battle every single time. – Dusty

Chyna to make more porn, eidvo43we.. oops, can’t see, gouged my eyes out

chyna

Yowza. According to Prowrestling.net, Chyna has made an “extremely graphic porn” movie called “Backdoor to Chyna,” starring herself and two male leads. Because at this point, the bar for porn is set so high that you absolutely must have three lead actors, or it’s hardly worth stealing from a bit torrent site and eating a bag of Cheetos with your other hand, m i rite? As you may remember, in 2004, Chyna and her then-boyfriend Sean Waltman released a semi-produced sex tape they titled “1 Night in China,” where X-Pac stuck his X-Coc in about any hole he could dig to Chyna. If I recall correctly, a review posted on SomethingAwful.com likened an anal sex scene featuring Chyna’s heavily pimpled ass to “someone shaking a large pepperoni pizza off their arm.” Kinda makes you think, doesn’t it?

This news comes weeks after TNA brought in Chyna to play the part of Kurt Angle’s mistress. Let’s see… bestiality jokes are too easy… clouded judgment due to too many pills, nah… John Piermarini is to Kelly Kelly as Vince Russo is to Chyna? Maybe. Let’s just all agree that it’s good Chyna finally got her act together, until the opportunity to get railed by two guys in front of a camera crew and work out her daddy issues came a-knockin’. -Eric

%d bloggers like this: