Ric Flair said to the judge, “I’ve been framed!”

And the judge said, “Yeah, you like an eight by ten!”

Ric Flair was charged today with contempt of court in a ruling issued by Superior Court in Mecklenberg County. Flair had agreed to pay Michael Bochicchio and Highspots Inc. $35,000 and autograph 300 pictures by 4/29 in a settlement for money Highspots claimed was owed to them by advancing Flair money. The court believed that Flair had the assets and income to where he could afford to comply with the agreement and had failed to do so. The order is that Flair can be put in prison for up to 90 days as long as he remains in contempt by not paying what was owed. Unless he complies with the terms of the agreement, he would be ordered to prison on 6/27

While the fact that Ric Flair has turned into this total mess of a human being is enough to make me want to grab my head in frustration, I also have this here website in which schadenfreude is the order of the day. And schadenfreude is going to win that battle every single time. – Dusty

Chyna to make more porn, eidvo43we.. oops, can’t see, gouged my eyes out

chyna

Yowza. According to Prowrestling.net, Chyna has made an “extremely graphic porn” movie called “Backdoor to Chyna,” starring herself and two male leads. Because at this point, the bar for porn is set so high that you absolutely must have three lead actors, or it’s hardly worth stealing from a bit torrent site and eating a bag of Cheetos with your other hand, m i rite? As you may remember, in 2004, Chyna and her then-boyfriend Sean Waltman released a semi-produced sex tape they titled “1 Night in China,” where X-Pac stuck his X-Coc in about any hole he could dig to Chyna. If I recall correctly, a review posted on SomethingAwful.com likened an anal sex scene featuring Chyna’s heavily pimpled ass to “someone shaking a large pepperoni pizza off their arm.” Kinda makes you think, doesn’t it?

This news comes weeks after TNA brought in Chyna to play the part of Kurt Angle’s mistress. Let’s see… bestiality jokes are too easy… clouded judgment due to too many pills, nah… John Piermarini is to Kelly Kelly as Vince Russo is to Chyna? Maybe. Let’s just all agree that it’s good Chyna finally got her act together, until the opportunity to get railed by two guys in front of a camera crew and work out her daddy issues came a-knockin’. -Eric

Stunt Granny Audio Show #143.5

I shall fuck up their show!

It’s that time again, yes time for a Stunt Granny Audio Show. They boys talk all sorts of madness this week as they cover the big story as well as the strange. Just why is Kharma out over nine months? What does this have to do with Hugh Grant? Is Triple H’s reputation taking a hit already? And that is all. Somehow our audio recording program fucked you, our loyal audience, out of our take on Randy Savage, Over The Limit PPV, Monday Night Raw and other incredible goodness. So, instead of scrapping the entire show we are giving you what we have so listen. It’s something to listen to at least. Fuck.

Stunt Granny Audio Show #143 and a half

Stunt Granny Poll: Which pro wrestler is best known in mainstream America?

This is the start of a larger conversation the Stunt Granny crew is currently having via instant message. (Did I say “currently”? Because I meant “after business hours.”) This is also a small chunk of a larger list of wrestlers whose mainstream acceptance and recognition we intend to discuss soon. We just want to get your thoughts on a few of the outliers (or in Hall and Nash’s case, outsiders). The wrestler(s) who gets your vote is the one whose name Joe Q. Sixpack would most likely respond to with, “Oh yeah, that wrestler,” as opposed to, “Who in the hell are you talking about, hillbilly?” As always, leave a comment!

(Author’s note: It didn’t even click with me that this same discussion is happening in the Bruce Mitchell Zone of the PWTorch.com VIP Forum, and that thread started because of a Bruce Mitchell Audio, to which I don’t listen anymore. That’s OK, multiple perspectives are welcome. And the Ultimate Warrior does belong in the discussion.)

PWO – Season 4 – Episode 12

The picture will make sense when you read the review.

Joe Dombrowski introduced Vic Travagliante as color commentary again. N8 Mattson takes on Jason Bane in the main event while Jason Gory takes on Michael “The Bomber” Facade. Corey Winters takes on Bobby Beverly for the TV Title. Beverly came to the ring with Nicki Valentino. Winters came out second as the challenger. Odd. Pedro De Lucca went with the formal introductions. Valentino takes over for Tavagiante on color. Beverly gets the upper hand early. Good suplex from Beverly. Beverly drop kicks Winters in the head as he’s on his hands and knees. They put a graphic up saying “More action after the break”.

Analysis: I’d imagine the graphic was added because they usually have a call to the commercial break so it wasn’t planned until post production, in my opinion. A pretty lazy start to the match. There wasn’t quite enough action to want to keep me involved. I’ll wait to grade it though.

Dombrowski tried to ask Valentino about Aeroform but he was so goofy, Dombrowski abandoned the line of questioning. Winters got in some punches and kicks. Winters went for the Snap Mare Driver but Beverly pushed him into the mat face first. Beverly gave him a thrust kick, waited then tagged him with another. Valentino said Sex Appeal values wrestling. They pimp the main event again and other match again.

Analysis: I think the match was wrestled well. Winters and Beverly have both progressed over the last couple of years. That being said, the stuff surrounding the match wasn’t good. Valentino doesn’t seem to have a good grasp of his character. He needed to say more goofy shit to live up to the gimmick. Dombrowski could have led him more but acted upset and abandoned questions that could have led Valentino down the goof path. Dombrowski also need to hype the win a bit more to me. Beverly showed a sadistic side by waiting to give Winters the second thrust kick. He did point out what a roll was inter was on but didn’t translate it well after the victory. Score 0 Continue reading

Kharma is out for “nine months”

So this explains the bizarre angle from Monday Night Raw. Wrestling Observer is reporting that Kharma is expected out for “over nine months.” Trust me it is in the link, you just need to scroll through a near endless amount of shit to get to any actual news bits.

Now there is no need to speculate but, um, nine months or more? Consider me skeptical on this one. This is a pretty poorly timed injury/yup whatever it is. Kharma was one of the only real acts going for WWE that was interesting. It is also a significant blow to Triple H’s ego as she was one of his pet projects along with Sin Cara who continues to frustrate.

At least the Divas can go back to not mattering again and more time can be given to the likes of Evan Bourne or Zack Ryder. -Jeremy

Taryn Terrell, aka WWE’s Tiffany, divorcing Drew McIntyre, doesn’t even know I’m alive

Pictured above: Newly single skank

According to her Twitter account about 18 minutes ago, Taryn Terrell, better known to WWE fans as Tiffany (or that bump on a log from ECW that was worth withdrawing from the spank bank every once in a while) is divorcing Drew McIntyre. Well hell, why not just read her Tweet for yourself:

With great sadness, I announce the end of my marriage. I wish Drew only happiness and continued success.

Good, now maybe he can focus on being as entertaining as watching ice melt, while she can go back to taking her clothes off somewhere without having a pouty Scottish guy with a ponytail to answer to. Win-win. (And for Mr. Morneau, win-win-win.) -Eric

Mick Foley shares YouTube video of ear loss incident

Mick Foley made a pro wrestling career out of getting beaten up, beating himself up, never being in shape (oh, I’m sorry, “looking different than everyone else”) and generally being a garbage wrestler before, during and after the term “garbage wrestling” was cool. And he wears the whole concept as a badge of honor. Or, in some cases, he wears it no longer: Foley Tweeted a link to a YouTube video, taken March 16, 1994, from a WCW house in Germany, of the match where he lost his ear while wrestling Big Van Vader. If you’re not familiar with the story (and if Foley ever found out that you aren’t familiar, I’m sure he’d offer to sell you a copy of his New York Times best-selling book, “Have a Nice Day”), Foley, as Cactus Jack, used to love to tie his head up between the top and middle ropes; one night in Germany while wrestling Vader, he couldn’t get his fat head out from between the ropes without, well, his ear tearing right off of his head. (Kinda like how he hasn’t learned that if you’re still holding a cookie while you’re hand is in the jar, it’s way harder to pull out. Speaking of which, I wish Mr. Foley would have pulled out 46 years ago.)

Start watching at about the 50-second mark and you’ll see his ear totally fall off while he throws a punch, followed by the referee picking it up and showing it to folks at ringside. It’s a historic moment and a turning point in the career of a man who prides himself on sustaining great deals of physical punishment and always working through the pain to finish his job and perform for the fans.

The real takeaway from this Tweet, though, is that Mick Foley spends a great deal of time at home googling “mick foley.” -Eric

WWE’s Randy Savage Tribute Video

If you followed our Twitter account I made the comment that it was near the end of Raw and no tribute or further mention of Randy Savage was made. It wasn’t a surprise since he has been persona non grata for WWE for quite sometime. Hell, they even reached out to The Ultimate Warrior for a Hall of Fame induction but not Savage. So, around 10:33 eastern Jerry Lawler finally gave the old time fans what they wanted. He introduced this video tribute to The Macho Man. Is it good, well, I got misty by the end. So I guess?

Anyway, the video was careful to show Randy mostly during his WWF days. Sure there are some shots of his WCW run but not the end of his run. It was a good decision. Most people remember him from WWF. Actually, I’d bet a lot more remember him from the Slim Jim commercials. So here, it’s a Youtube video by WWE so it won’t be removed anytime soon.  -Jeremy

Kevin’s Blog: Almost Live, Definitely Half Assed Review of Raw

Today's word is passion.

Sometimes, it’s hard to know yourself. I wasn’t sure how I wanted to formulate the beginning of this column but this route seems the best to me right now. My younger brother, who barely watches wrestling, thought it was a good thing to make a weekly column out of the Raw review that I do. Jeremy had told me the same thing before Wrestlemania 27 when I about gave out for the month before hand. My buddy Sean who I refer to often in this blog, said to me as we left the bar (I’m three deep on Great Lakes Dopplerock which is 7.6% alcohol just in case you were wondering) “You’re going to do your review now?” Yes, Yes I am. I think that wrestling is at a low tide but I don’t give a shit. I have a passion for this site to make it the best (Not reviewing a PWO show this  past weekend makes me feel like a failure in this department which I hope to make up for in the evenings coming.) whether it’s my reviews of PWO, t-shirts or this blog. When I bitched that I wanted comments, I suppose I don’t really care about them. I want people to enjoy this feature on the site. Let’s roll.

“Macho” tribute which I hope contributed to our great numbers over the week. God rest his soul. I’m so incredibly pissed at this point. I had a secondary intro about Demitri Martin telling people to “know themselves” because he is similar in age to Jim Norton. Both completely different comics but they know who they are and are both really funny. Anyway, that had something to do with me knowing my column. Since I feel like I can’t replicate my first viewing of the Truth/Cena/Hart segment, lets say they “executed” that well. Truth isn’t in Cena’s league but because of their past, which they acknowledged, it could work.

Big Show & Kane take on the other half of Nexus. Punk is killing on the head sets. No surprise that Show is holding court into commercial break.

By the way, improving this column hinges on me upgrading this shitty ass computer that has lost parts of at least 2 blogs now. I’m sure it has eaten parts of PWO reviews that I can’t remember. Nexus gets a win that is too expensive if you call it cheap. Better champs if well, you thought the tag team ranks were worth it.

I’m not surprised that Luke, Andy & Jeremiah are the final three without watching the last episode of Tough Enough. Randy Orton rocks according to some people.

Show bitches, Del Rio interrupts but gets hit by Rich Rod. I’m confused. Ridiculous to see Kane with “concern” on his face. What a strange segment.

Continue reading

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