Kevin’s Blog: Almost Live, Definitely Half Assed Review of Raw

Vince McMahon did not look this good in the same colored suit.

So, I’m surprised this drawn out Tough Enough Finale got me sucked in as much as it did. It was completely bogus because they didn’t even show the entire match with Bill DeMott. They were too worried about doing live shots from Raw. Of course my DVR skips 10 seconds while flipping programs from Tough Enough to Raw. I missed what Vince did. How great is it to eat a Stunner on your TV debut? I’d say very. Cole amping up the excitement of the choice was too much. I liked Andy more but he still has work to do to get his personality out. What the hell is R-Truth doing? He gets to explain the outfit. Biggest moment of R Truth’s career being in front of McMahon & Stone Cold. R Truth using history against the crowd. A bit more creative than trashing their sports team. Truth is seceding from the WWE until his Title match. Vince makes it a comedy bit. Miz interrupts. I take a break to see that Boston has taken a 3-0 lead. Maybe they decided getting a winning instead of revenge was a better way to go about things. Don’t worry about the cheap shots. Win games. As I type that, Boston makes it 4-0 so I’m going to stick to reviewing for a while. I think Miz needed to go with lighter pants. the dark purple is too close to black. Alex Riley gets to share the spot light. Not really, Cena hits the ring. Vince made it a comedy, Cena’s going to make it not so funny. He was doing fine until making fun of R Truth. Vince gets to tell Cole to shut up. Another stamp of approval. You’re paying Austin, may as well use him.

Santino takes on McGillicutty. Cole tells me he’s half of the tag champs. Honestly, I had completely forgotten. Vlad looks really strange in blue, with an American flag. Longest Santino match, probably ever. At least on TV.  The crowd is eating up Santino’s offense. Santino gets a big pop for the cobra victory. What is a women’s match starting without a commercial break? I got it now.

The crowd is surprisingly into this match. Beth doing a good job of feeding them.  Rebuilding Phoenix needs to be done before Kharma comes back. Nice showing for Beth.

Booker talks to Trish. He has a secret, a Trisharooni. Swagger needs to be introduced by Trish. Booker giving Swagger a clinic in the promo. Punk goes Indian Style on the stage. He gives Swagger a clinic in promos too and he had less time.

I like the new mask that Rey has with the mesh back. More form fitting, lighter, cheap to make., probably more profit. I said last week that I love these two in the ring. They’re not doing anything to change my mind today. They have “it” in the ring against each other. King & Cole still have some issues to work out as a duo. Punk shaking his hand after Rey punched his hands is one of the small things that makes him so great. Mysterio gets a big win. Does the rubber match happen at the Capitol Justice? I hope so. It might make me order that PPV. These Obama press conference segments are making me not order it. Nice of Cena to warn Riley. Rare display of staying with history.

Alberto Del Rio grabs the mic with no Rich Rod intro. I get water while the recap happens. Del Rio wants to make the second apology of the night. Ahh, that’s why no Rich Rod intro. Still not funny. I want to punch Cole for fake laughing more than normal. This segment is a great example of why their product isn’t more popular. Rich Rod has prison tats. I hope you and Cole compare. Del Rio tries to look intense but fails. Video of Kofi.Umm, OK. Are they re-introducing him? Still a little weird.If you want to push him more, give him the damned mic. Not a pretty video clip segment.

Zach Ryder gets a match against Kofi. Ziggler gets on commentary. What is it with the suits tonight? He’s looking slick. (With the ups, come the downs. Our beloved KSU lost in regionals to those fuck sticks from Texas after beating them on Saturday.)Ryder looks like he has added some weight. They finally pimp Rydre show. I never remember the exact name of it. Kofi gets the clean win. Ziggler took the lead and Vicki was in the back ground. I think he did good, not great.

Miz vs Riley is set up for Capitol Punishment. Swagger vs Booker is on the tube now. Why is Cole happy about Booker coming out? e hated him on Smackdown this past week. King tells Cole to shut up then has no idea how to fill the air time. Wow, they are pimping Twitter tonight. What is the WWE doing? Admitting people have power? How dare they! Booker has lost a little bit in the hops department. I just attend Swagger’s funeral. Bourne gets Booker rub.

I FF enough to get the commercial break as Cena’s music hits. Lucky me.

Nothing happens during the first part of the match.

I picked a great time to go live. 2 commercial breaks and basic moves at the top of the match. I may as well have been a mute. Stone Cold looks ridiculous in fancy jeans. The crowd is very pro-Cena tonight. Miz gets to look decent by getting a break with the ropes. Riley acts like he’s going to hit Cena then tags Miz. Austin stuns him, Cena F Us him and gets the pin. Riley gets the loss at Capital Punishment. Cole was dying as the calmed down heel. Aww crap, I’ve got to sit thru 3 hours of this crap next week. -Kevin

Aww shit even more, it’s a cross over show? No good story lines will happen. -Kevin

Next Day Update: I wanted to add a little extra content since I’ve been retweeting this column the next day for any people who wanted to just watch the show and not pay attention to some dummy poking on a key board. Last night was a night for suits. They were all over the board. We kicked off with Booker T in a suit stemming from his Tough Enough appearance. Vince McMahon came out in a suit that looked really comfortable but also large and baggy enough to be pajamas. Miz was the next out in a suit and it was his first piss poor choice that I remember. Alex Riley came in the relaxed suit without a tie and looked better than Vince and Miz. Alberto Del Rio came out in his usual suit. Lastly, my man Dolph Ziggler came out and did commentary in a suit. I feel like this update is an “Art of Wrestling” column.

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