Kevin’s Blog: Almost Live, Definitely Half Assed Review of Raw

I have the feeling we're not going to get all of the power.

It’s time for the weekly party that is Raw. I’m lucky enough to get back to back three hour reviews. Hey, it’ll probably only last as long as Impact Wrestling and Smackdown lasted combined. I’m starting around 9:23 PM so I’ll be live at some point. Let’s roll.

Punk opens the show. Got to love it. Ah crap, Booker is on this show too? It’s too much to ask to have separate teams I suppose. Punk said he’s number 1 contender because of his wins over Mysterio and Cena in the week. He kindly asks for a shot at the title in his home town for TLC (I’m a dope. MIB). Punk’s facial sell the GM’s decision not to make him No. 1 contender. Punk has to earn the spot against Alberto Del Rio. Rey gets to join the party. Oh goody, someone got to choose who Brie would defend her belt against.

They gave us a whole commercial break to vote. Kelly Kelly wins the vote by a land slide. I couldn’t believe Jason Powell didn’t know who Keith Stone was. He must have missed this past football, hockey and basketball seasons. These two aren’t going to bring back women’s wrestling. KK’s boobs are different colors and it’s distracting me. I mean her bikini top. She wins the Divas Title. King gets in the ring and interviews her. It stunk. Evan Bourne video package. My boy Dolph had one last week. Wonder if it’ll be a new trend to signal who they’re pushing. Two examples don’t prove a pattern. You have to wait for #3 before that emerges. We get to chose his opponent. Swagger, Ryan or Sin Cara. I hope Bourne can teach him how not to be sloppy and a high flyer.

The WWE selects Ryan for us. Lots of dancing by Bourne early. Has Mason Ryan stolen Batista’s trunks now? Bourne is at least showing Sin Cara how to sell. He’s a great flopper. Cole tells Lawler to defend the Universe’s choice. It’s easy, see my first statement.  World’s slowest small package. Urinogi by Ryan. Cole is rubbing it in to the WWE Universe. Is the berating of the WWEU stupider than the Capitol Punishment skits? It’s close. Kane vs. Henry in a gimmick match.

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PWO – Season 4 – Episode 17

Click on the Read More button to find out who got revenge in this episode.

Joe Dombrowski & Vic Travagliante introduced the show. The main event if Gregory Iron vs. “Amazing” N8 Mattson for the WrestleRama trophy. Johnny Gargano is back in action against Benjamin Boone. The announcers talked up Gargano being out for 11 weeks and what affects Boone had from a big Baneline from last week. Boone won the collar and elbow tie up. They ruin my viewing by saying that Justin LaBar gets air time. Don’t ruin the viewing of this match. A leg sweep sends Gargano crashing onto ring apron. Boone worked on Gargano’s recently injured neck. Mattson strangled Gargano while Boone distracted the referee. A leg drop didn’t get the pin for Boone. Gargano gave Boone an enziguri to change the tide. Gargano low bridged Boone then hit Mattson & Boone with a suicide dive. Sling shot spear by Gargano only gets a near fall. Boone folds up Gargano with an overhead suplex. Boone missed a splash, Gargano gave a Cutter then kicked Boone with a low thrust kick. Gargano turned a Bear Trap DDT into a small package for the victory.

Analysis: They had a tough road to go with this match because Boone losing twice in a row isn’t good. They made him look good for stretches in both matches and the cheapish win with the small package helps keep that theme going and still gets Gargano a win over a bigger name. Gargano could fight Dan Arkhum in his return but everyone would know he’s going to win. You’ve got to have a little peril for a return match. Score: +1.

Michael “The Bomber” Facade said that he can’t get a fair fight whether it’s with Bobby Beverly & Sex Appeal or Jason Gory & Krimson. He added Shiima Xion but just talked bad about him. Facade told Beverly he only needed one more shot so that the fans could have a champion to look up to. He walked away and showed spray painted card board that read Facade in the upper left, then Next TV Champion cascading down to the right.

Analysis: I like the idea of the card board and spray paint but I think you need to go all in and have multiple colors, minimum. It should also be a nicer design that what he does for fans during his ring entrance. His theory fell apart with Xion. Facade talked well but the log jam of opponents made me feel like he couldn’t concentrate on one person to run down and get a good theory on. Score: 0.

Nicki Valentino had professionalism because of his sport coat, which didn’t have sleeves. Valentino talked like he grew up in the territory days. He challenged PWO to wrestle for 3 days, like he did. He said he’s a better wrestler than anyone they can find.

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Alex Riley Is A Free Man

Apparently Alex Riley hired the right lawyer for the job. Yup, Alex Riley may not live in Southern California but he got out of his legal issues  just the same according to TMZ. A judge in Tampa, Florida tossed out Alex’s pending DUI charge because, as argued by his defense attorney, the police had no reason for pulling him over. Which leads you to believe one thing, the Tampa City government will now create a new law so that things like this will be prevented. I don’t mean stopping possible drunk drivers, I mean harassing you with no probable cause. Gotta get those fines up so your city can make money after all. -Jeremy

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