Kevin’s Blog: Almost Live, Definitely Half Assed Review of Impact Wrestling

Immortal should have been dressed more like these two. This bar is in the Stanley Hotel, where "The Shining" took place. Cool place.

After review from Slammiversary, Immortal shows up in tuxedos. I’m laughing already. Waiting for a train wreck. How white trash, a camo tuxedo. The poker theme is better than the Raw Roulette Wheel, right? Trying to find something positive about this skit. Crazy Sting is comedy awfulness. He needs to channel his inner R Truth. Did they let Orlando Jordan go because Sting is going to be acting as the gay Joker? Oh no, Pennywises are in the rafters. I’m confused but it’s still shit.

They are doing a good job of hyping the Bound For Glory Series. It is ridiculous that they’re trying to sell us on “Bobby” Roode. His character change isn’t working. He’s not a common man.Roode shouldn’t have let Dinero off the hook for the Muscle Buster. you’d be 1 on 1 against Joe, who you have a step on. The losing gimmick doesn’t work in TNA. Samoa Joe has to be kicking himself. What an after thought. Punk is the talk of the town.Did I miss when the Jarretts stopped being gone forever?

Now they’re ready to kick Abyss out of the crew? You need stability with your factions. What was that belt? Shouldn’t you explain that more? I’m not sure where they’re headed with this Devon and Pope thing. If the kids turn on Devon, like Pope suggested, doesn’t excite me.

At least Shannon Moore still shows up for his job. I like Aries build. He’s toned but doesn’t have xtra weght on him. I was thinking of Urjiah Faber and Dominick Cruz and how it was a worthy event. I wonder what Vince McMahon thinks when he sees that kind of stuff. Aries flattens Moore then wins. Taz, you lying sack of garbage, he’s not a player if Aries needed a chain to beat Moore. Abyss walked right into a clown with a bat. Go the other direction and at least make him chase you. Find a garbage lid to parry the attack. Dummy.

Please shot me, Aries is a poet and didn’t know it.Review of Tara & Madison. They both get to do promos. They both are OK at best.

TNA hyping the Bound For Glory Series agin. Seriously, it’s what #TNADidRightThisWeek . Steiner should get a beat down for wanting to take horse face back to his hotel room. Madison with the camo ring gear. At least she went with the blue variety. Madison getting the upper hand after Tara show boated too much.What a silly way to win.If Madison were that scared of spiders, she would have been long gone from the ring. Spider chase ends the segment. What shit.

Magnus & Doug make sense until they sound gay complimenting each other on their ring jackets. If Brutus doesn’t wear the ring jacket and they split up because of it, I riot. Kurt Angle has a title match and said some other stuff while I grabbed graham crackers with peanut butter. the Jarretts attempt another comedy skit. Pennywise beat up Jeff.

Why do they continue to give Mexican America a mic? Utter shit. Those tattoos are terrible on Hernandez. The woman in green in the front row is leading a 3 person booing of the Mexicans. I don’t even know who the tag champs are in TNA. Rosita with the assist for the victory. Gunner tries to hype up Bully Ray but he’s dumb so he doesn’t stay with him. You’re being taken out one at a time, how stupid is Ray? As dumb as the writers for TNA. Makes sense that Fortune would help Sting. Wow, TNA did something else right this week.

I only have 10 minutes left on my DVR as the match starts. I never tape the over run. They’re not worth it. The crowd is solidly behind Sting. Taz & Tenay have to cover for Sting not being able to lift Anderson to hang him on the top rope. Another ref bump in TNA. Fortune should come down and attack Ray. Instead the lights go out, we get help from another Pennywise and Sting wins the title on TV. Wow, that was terrible. -Kevin

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