WWE Release Day! Melina, Chris Masters, Vladimir Kozlov, David Hart Smith

(Fast-forward to about 1:30 to see the latest – and last – appearance of “The Masterpiece”)

Welp, it was bound to happen sooner or later, and when it didn’t happen at the customary time immediately following WrestleMania, I’m sure these Legends of WWE Superstars (exclusively on WWE.com) were increasingly more freaked out about answering their phones when a 203 area code popped up. According to Prowrestling.net, three superstars and one diva have been released, and one more diva claims to have quit (and she probably did).

So say goodbye to that sorry-ass no-talent hack Melina (and to the ultra-talented-and-thus-totally-wasted Gail Kim), to Chris Masters (does that mean he can’t challenge Zack Ryder for the Internet Championship?), to Vladimir Kozlov (who will replace him in his sitcom with Santino Marella? and hey, he got a good pop from the Des Moines crowd a few weeks back), and to David Hart Smith, the third-generation star who (edited to remove reference to dead people’s shadows).

In summary, good luck to Masters, Vlad and Kim in their future endeavors, good luck to David Hart Smith finding something to do with your life that doesn’t involve Del Taco, and good riddance to that insult-to-intelligence Z-grade J-Lo Melina. Hooray Black Friday! -Eric

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