Kevin Nash Meet & Greet for PWO Wrestlelution 4: Overdrive – Kevin’s Perspective

My phone camera sucks more than I thought it did.

OK, to fill in other information that Dan skipped, I’ll pass on describing the venue or our hotel. I will mention the crowd since it’s always good people watching. I’ve seen four very loyal fans there at least the last two years. I could rip on them for a long time but will let that slide to go for my own embarrassment. The son of the group is toothless gentlemen that I mention on Twitter. He got his boxer’s signed by a wrestler that I don’t know. The hard part for me to swallow? He wears a Steelers hat. He gives us a bad name. I’m just saying.

I would like to respond to Dan about his drinking habits. Knowing your limit is something that comes with age. In an older person, they need to know their limit because it wrecks their next day. Rookie old guy drinking mistake my man. I’m glad it didn’t cancel our trip to Melt Bar and Grilled in Lakewood OH. I’d seen it on Diners, Drive-Ins and Dives. It’s a fancy grilled cheese joint. The wait for seating was an hour and thirty minutes. Dan and I went with take out which was still thirty five minutes. It was worth the wait. I got the Municipal Stadium Magic which had fresh local bratwurst, grilled peppers and onions smothered in cheese. It was awesome. It will be stopped at again next year.

When Dan and I were in line, I took some notes on what Kevin Nash was talking about. Dan mentioned the Ricky Morton interview and though I said I’d limit the repeats, one is coming. Nash seemed genuinely pissed at Morton and that he was legitimately going to beat the hell out of him. See the video clip in Dan’s Perspective. Nash talked about how bungled the WCW Invasion angle was, especially since some of the major players didn’t sign with the WWE at the time. He said that they were going to redo the angle in the new upcoming video game for Raw vs Smackdown. Nash mentioned how Rey Mysterio had been unmasked recently when a clip showed of Nash unmasking him on Nitro. He claimed that he had no idea that at the pay per view six days later (I don’t think he mentioned the name but I may be forgetting it.) Rey would unmask for a lengthy time. (It may have been the remainder of his WCW day but he definitely didn’t say that and my memory is faulty.)

Nash thought that it was a problem that wins and losses are not referenced enough at this time. He said it helps give motivation to the character and person performing even when you know that finishes are determined. He also said it helps to make the character want to go out and win against any given opponent even if they lost to them the match before. You’ve got to have the mental rive to always win. When asked about CM Punk, Nash joked (I think) that since the boss (HHH) might need some help that he’d be willing to supply if Punk stepped beyond just flipping his tie. The last thing that he talked about while we were in line (or maybe just getting out of it) when he started talking about his appearance at the royal Rumble earlier this year. He said he heard the crowd erupt after his horn hit while he was still backstage. Nash said that the first thought that popped into his head was “It’s all down hill from here.”

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The Miz lip syncs with some gross-ass muppet named Keenan Cahill

You have to blame for this: About a year ago, I was at this bar in West Des Moines called Wellmann’s Pub, a classy-on-the-outside, whore-clientele-on-the-inside establishment with a bunch of big screens playing the videos of the latest pop/R&B/hip-hop songs blaring over the PA system. It was there where I got my first look at this gross, shriveled ventriloquist dummy who was making his fame by lip syncing to Katy Perry’s “Teenage Dream.” I do use the term “lip syncing” very lightly considering this sea creature can barely move its mouth. The other trick behind Teddy Yuckspin here is that he looks like he’s 8 but he’s really 15 or 16 or 30, I’m not sure, but it’s like that Andy Milonakis asshole who used to trick people into thinking he was a 10-year-old fat-ass foul-mouthed prick when in reality he was a 20-year-old fat-ass foul-mouthed prick. Good one.

So when your gimmick is working people into thinking you’re something other than what you are (talented, for instance), what better way to keep getting attention than to hook up with a popular and media-hungry pro wrestler, in this case The Miz, and then get another no-talent hack like John Morrison involved to really piss off me the pro wrestling community. (Jesus, Morrison *still* can’t throw a real-looking punch!) I guess what we’re left with here is a humongous waste of five minutes that gave Keenan something to rub one off to with his T-rex arms, something to take Morrison’s mind off of his horrendous girlfriend Melina (dare I say Keenan is a better actor than Melina will ever be?), and something Miz already wishes he could erase from history. -Eric

Stunt Granny Lunch Conversation: Eric & Jeremy, August 9, 2011

Yup, this has happened before.

Jeremy: You catch Monday Night Raw?
Eric: The first hour and 10 got bored, even though I knew Punk would be at the end. Punk is ratings; a contract signing is not ratings
Jeremy: He made it interesting.
Eric: see, here’s the thing. WWE is so fucking lazy.
Eric: “Ooh, one week before a big PPV, what can we do to sell it?????”
Eric: “I know a CONTRACT SIGNING!”
Eric: you could have had Santa debate Jesus and I still wouldn’t have watched it
Jeremy: yeah I know
Eric: I swear they’re setting him up to fail
Eric: “Even better!! Let’s get the heat-sucking vacuum asshole of a human being son-in-law Triple H in on the action, too!!”
Eric: he just sucks all of the air out of the room
Eric: Cena didn’t even bother looking him in the eye in their first segment
Jeremy: You get the feeling Punk is going corporate?
Eric: Now the heat is split in thirds instead of in half.
Jeremy: The big swerve
Eric: Eh, I would be severely bored by that
Jeremy: He did it on Ring Of Honor remember.
Eric: I don’t remember.
Jeremy: When he knowingly signed with WWE as the Ring Of Honor champ. Cut and dyed his hair. Wore a suit.
Eric: Oh yeah.
Jeremy: Something doesn’t seem right about the angle but now I hear they are building to him and triple H, which isn’t a bad thing
Eric: CM Punk vs. Triple H at WrestleMania is totally OK with me. Before that? No thanks.
Jeremy: They were saying survivor series, nah, WM works way better but I like that there seems to be some sort of booking plan.
Eric: Well yeah
Eric: Rock vs. Cena, Triple H vs. Punk
Eric: That’s an awesome 1-2 punch for WM28. Then find an opponent for Taker
Eric: Miz?
Jeremy: Taker vs Kane? Only reason is he never got revenge.
Eric: Yuck
Jeremy: I think that is Survivor Series as well
Eric: Possible if Taker comes back by then. See, the shitty thing is the finish to the Taker-Hunter match at WM27 sets up a rematch for them at WM28.
Eric: “Three years ago, Shawn Michaels did almost everything he could to beat me, and he failed. Two years ago, he did do everything, and I put him into retirement…”
Eric: “Last year, I did everything I could to keep Triple H from beating me, and it put me on the shelf. I never thought I’d say this, but I have to prove it to myself: I need to beat Triple H one more time.”
Jeremy: Yeah it does. They way Punk keeps inserting him in between rock and Cena makes me wonder if a three way is set.
Jeremy: I doubt it but it is an idea and wow.
Eric: That would be interesting, but personally I don’t like it. Not a fan of three-ways
Jeremy: Nah
Eric: Here’s the other thing who in WWE is even worth any of these main-event spots at this moment? One year ago this time, someone could have made the case that Wade Barrett could have wrestled Cena, Undertaker, etc. Now he’s so far down the ladder. Christian is not WM main-event worthy.
Jeremy: There is time for Barrett and his commentary on Smackdown only cemented his longevity.
Eric: Yeah. I do like him a lot. And commentary has always been a make-or-break time.
Jeremy: Christian is frustrating man.
Jeremy: He has good performances then his mic work is a letdown.
Jeremy: There was a match, I think with Morrison, where he won and he had this look on his face of pure confidence and it worked. Then the next week he faltered and he was back to being the chicken shit. Barrett and Daniel Bryan is exactly what they should be doing.
Eric: Yes.
Eric: Oh, Barrett vs. Sheamus at WrestleMania 28? I would love that
Jeremy: They brought up Nexus. Bryan and Barrett needs to happen but do they have the patience? As a writing staff.
Eric: I think so.
Eric: a) it needs to be an Intercontinental Title match
Eric: so b) they need to get the belt off Zeke
Eric: This could take a few months.
Eric: c) they could tease it at Survivor Series, then have them eye-to-eye at Royal Rumble
Eric: They need to take these next four months to build Barrett back up
Jeremy: But Bryan already said he is cashing in at WrestleMania. How you get around that? Can’t have him lose it that is hack and I mean the briefcase.
Eric: Orton vs. Bryan sounds OK to me. Hell, heel Bryan up a little.

Dusty’s Blog: Post Monday Night Raw Autopsy

If you didn't like this week's Monday Night Raw, this picture should hopefully put things into perspective for you.

This one will be short and sweet since I’m feeling under the weather today. Kevin wanted me to do this because he’s busy with something or another else. We’re choking down Summer Slam, so they better make this count.

Triple H comes out to start the show. How long do you get to be the new COO of the company before you’re just the COO of the company? He said there were lots of changes going on in the company, what with them going from having no champion to now having two. He said they’re going to resolve that issue at Summer Slam with a match between John Cena and CM Punk to determine who the undisputed champion will be. Punk got a big pop again at the mention. Hunter said a match of that magnitude is going to need a special guest referee of equal magnitude to keep the law and order. So, of course, it’s going to be him. Stevie Wonder could have seen that coming. Ray Charles could have seen that coming. A visually impaired person who needs the assistance of eyewear in order to see things properly could have seen that coming.

In any event, Hunter then got down to the business of laying out the format of the rest of the show. We’ve got a contract signing between Punk and Cena (I’m sure that will go just swimmingly), as well as individual matches for the both of them against other dudes. Hunter said Cena’s match is first, and actually it is going to be right then and there. I love how they do that on wrestling shows, the faux surprise “let’s have a match right now!” thing. What were they going to do otherwise with that time? Just show an empty ring? Have Triple H talk longer? Before they went to break, Cena got in Hunter’s face to question the guest referee stipulation. Hunter told him no one is bigger than him, basically laying down the law there. Interesting.

Back from break, and Cena is taking on Jack Swagger. WWE forgot to fire Swagger on Black Friday a while back, and they’re going to punish him for it by making him job on television. Or something like that. I’m not reviewing the matches this week in any sort of meaningful way, if you want to know the truth of it. Besides, Swagger is not good, so it would just be a bunch of sentences saying stuff like “Swagger did something poorly” and “Swagger sold something poorly.” I just saved you some time. Cena hit the Attitude Adjustment for the victory. It was your basic John Cena match that he had every week while I was doing Smackdown reviews back in the day. I guess Swagger and Carlito are interchangeable.

Later in the show is going to be Rey Mysterio vs. The Miz. Isn’t Rey hurt? Isn’t Miz not much better off? What’s going on here? They show clips of Bret Hart vs. Curt Hennig from Summer Slam 1991, which is one of my favorite matches of all time, ostensibly to get people excited about this year’s Summer Slam. Done and doner.

Ricardo Rodriguez interrupts Scott Stanford (the broski of the forever) to introduce Alberto Del Rio. Del Rio is going to be taking on Punk tonight, and he vows to finish what he tried to start at the Money in the Bank pay-per-view. So apparently Punk is a babyface now, in that he is a babyface when he is facing heels and a heel when he is facing babyfaces. Who doesn’t think Punk is this generation’s Randy Savage, the best thing to happen to wrestling in the last 10 years? If so, harm yourself immediately.

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