Stunt Granny Audio Show #152

It may be Tuesday but that it is still Stunt Granny Audio Show time. Jeremy and Kevin cover the big stories so far this week and from the weekend. You know that means Matt Hardy and the rest of his crew are the main topic. Just what is his malfunction? Why does he talk like a freshman goth chick? Why is his support group a failing mechanism in his life? Is there any chance for redemption and improvement? They then discuss Mick Foley’s recent interview and his aspirations and reported contact with WWE. Does he fit and where does he go? If he does return; what capacity is there for his talents? They round it all out with a follow up on Rey Mysterio. Who called the surgery last week? Is this the right time to be away from WWE and will his return be in WWE? There is a little more so download and listen. It is only forty-five minutes this time around.

Stunt Granny Audio #152

NBC Buys Dwayne Johnson-Jerry Bruckheimer 1980s Wrestling Drama

We interrupt the Matt Hardy News Network to bring you this press release:

NBC is getting in the ring with a put pilot commitment to a drama about the 1980s professional wrestling boom that is executive produced by one of the biggest ’90s wrestling stars, Dwayne Johnson, aka The Rock. The fictional drama set in the world of wrestling in the ’80s hails from Bruckheimer TV, marking a departure from the company’s signature brand of procedurals. It will be written by Brent Fletcher and Seamus Kevin Fahey (Spartacus: Gods of the Arena), who will co-executive produce alongside KristieAnne Reed. Johnson, Bruckheimer and Jonathan Littman are executive producing.

The ’80s, often called “the golden age of wrestling”, marked a surge in the popularity of professional wrestling in the U.S. fueled by the growth of cable television and pay-per-view and the efforts of hot-shot promoters like Vince McMahon. During that period, pro wrestling shifted from a system controlled by numerous regional companies to a system dominated by two nationwide companies: Ted Turner’s World Championship Wrestling and McMahon’s World Wrestling Federation. It featured the launch of WrestleMania and the emergence of wrestling’s first crop of superstars led by Hulk Hugan. The project extends the popularity of period dramas among the broadcast networks, which have two such series, the 1960s-set Pan Am on ABC and The Playboy Club on NBC, premiering this fall. It also expands wrestling’s presence at NBCUniversal. NBC’s sibling network USA carries WWE Raw as well as the revival of WWE Tough Enough. This is the third sale and third put pilot commitment for Bruckheimer TV so far this development season. The company recently set up a Navy SEALs drama at ABC and a procedural about a mom-turned-New York State Trooper at CBS. Fahey previously worked with Bruckheimer TV as a writer on the ABC series The Forgotten.

Hulk Hugan? This is going to be a resounding success. – Dusty

Headlines: Matt Hardy can’t admit to sucking, Young Bucks can’t either, Del Rio (rightfully) gets no love

matt hardy

Who woulda thought, huh?

According to Prowrestling.net (and I saw this earlier on his Twitter account, so also according to me), Matt Hardy lashed out at a fan who must have been speaking the God’s honest gospel truth about how much Matt Hardy sucks as a pro wrestler and a human being (and an actor, and an entertainer, and a ghost hunter, and did I mention human being?).

Please bet against me and insult and have fun at my expense. You you’ve never done anything and never will. While I sit home with enough money to last two lifetimes.

A) Jason Powell corrected Hardy’s spelling because he originally wrote to “best” against him. The best thing that’s ever been against Hardy is the wall that props his drunk ass up at the Waffle Stop while he devours the left side of the menu. (And he can afford it, too, because he has enough money for the two lifetimes he’s very quickly burning through.) B) It’s a good thing we’re a dirt sheet, because that means he can’t lash out at us. Remember, he basically said that already.

Also according to Prowrestling.net, the Young Bucks recently [edit for who-gives-a-fuck] listen guys, you suck, your schtick sucks, and you’re only getting press because there are 10,000 sites like ours hungry for interviews with disgruntled former independent contractors. If you can make enough money on the indy circuit, do it while you can, because eventually everyone is going to see through this spot-monkey bullshit and bandana-wearing garbage and toss you out like yesterday’s garbage. Not that it’s any of my business, but just how much money do you think Marty Jannetty and Ricky Morton are pulling in for that same act, just 25 years later? Then again, they’ve both made enough money to last two lifetimes.

Speaking of indy guys, according to Prowrestling.net, Wrestling Revolution has named its first two roster members, Colt Cabana and Dr. Luther (some old Canadian). Wrestling Revolution began as a Kickstarter project created by Jeff Katz, former WCW Internet nerd turned Hollywood executive producer. Rather than force you to sit through a three-minute video of a fat bearded guy green-screened in front of a wrestling ring he’ll never step foot inside, let me give you the rundown: Katz wants to steal my No. 1 draft pick of Colt Cabana and create a wrestling “league” based on a shortened storyline schedule similar to that of cable TV seasons. Interesting concept, and I hope it takes off. Or I hope it fails at the same time I win the lottery so I can hire Colt myself.

Finally, according to an eyewitness report from WWE Monday Night Raw (posted at Prowrestling.net), WWE Champion Alberto del Rio has no crowd heat whatsoever. Two guesses as to why that could be: He’s not very good, and the writers have completely fucked up a very simple aristocratic character by making him smile like a retard at the zoo and say his own name every week. Come on, let him get down to kicking ass and shoving pesos down his opponents’ throats. Heat = instant. -Eric

Jeff Hardy returning to Impact Wrestling?

Apparently being Hardyless is too much for TNA so they are bringing Jeff back? According to his Twitter handle , @JEFFHARDYBRAND, this sure seems to be the case.

Ok it’s official…time to go back2work!I will be in Huntsville,AL this Thursday with ImpactWrestling!!!!

Now look, eventually a punching bag loses its sand and you have to replace it. The easy thing to do here is bash TNA for bringing back Jeff in the face of all of his continuing legal issues. Couple this with the fact they just fired his brother for being a slovenly waste of money and it just seems like piling on, doesn’t it?

According to Kevin

TNA is just making sure he doesn’t get in any more trouble.

Heavily drenched in sarcasm of course, but is anyone else just exhausted by TNA’s poor decisions? Typing this post is draining enough. Do you realize how hard this is to come up with vague mentions of possible drug use and stupid behavior? Has anyone considered that we post news on the Hardys just because we have to? No one with at least 1% discernable taste in anything that isn’t total trash gives a shit about these guys now, but yet here is yet another post.

So TNA is bringing back a potential felon and fired his tub-of-butter brother because he “impaired himself” and drove his Corvette into a tree, only a few weeks after their buddy decided to drink and drive and wreck his motorcycle, fucking up his life as well as the life of his girlfriend.  Clearly we are talking about people who have all of their shit together. Yeah, we all make mistakes, but constantly making them is just tiring to write about.

Wait, this just in: No one gives a shit about Shannon Moore and his fucking book. Enough already.

In review:

Jeff Hardy: Felony rap pending. In no shape to perform and wrestles a five-minute PPV main event. Still has a job with TNA.

Matt Hardy: Lazy-eyed dolt who was suspended from TNA for being a gravy riched nothing. Gets drunk and runs Corvette in to a tree. TNA fires him.

Greg Helms: Fired by WWE. TNA shows no interest. Wrecks motorcycle while drunk.

Side note from Eric:

Do you think these guys drink out of jugs with ‘XXX’ written on the sides? Or does Bacardi Trash mixed with Mountain Thunder taste better mixed in a classy plastic cup?

Shannon Moore: Who gives a fuck. -Jeremy

Rey Mysterio going under the knife

Just like Kevin and I talked about on “Stunt Granny Audio #151” last week, Rey Mysterio is going under the knife for his injured knee according to Prowrestling.net. It made no sense to try the rehab-only  idea when you have been running on bad wheels for some time now. The timing for this is actually perfect. Rey has done his job and started Alberto Del Rio as WWE Champion on the right track. He also is disappearing at a time where he really isn’t needed. Raw has enough high mid-card players now so he would inevitably get lost in the shuffle. Sure merchandise sales are going to take a hit for a bit but his audience is easily sustained. Again, as we mentioned on the show, Rey is a timeless performer now. The audience rarely boos him even though his character hasn’t changed and he losses as much as he wins. No on has gotten tired of him. Maybe this is due to missing chunks of time due to other injuries but the fact remains he leaves in a good place and has a natural entrance back in the spotlight.

If the timeframe for his surgery holds pat he should return in time for WrestleMania 28. Obviously there is a lot of time between now and then but it seems like there is the ready made feud between he and Alberto again once he returns. They have one match for WrestleMania out of the way. Of course this all hinges on rehab and if Rey can get back in rig shape. -Jeremy

%d bloggers like this: