The Rock loves Twitter, discusses return and his golden touch on pro wrestling

Without a 5 o'clock shadow of a doubt, the absolute, all-time best stubble humanity has ever produced!

According to, the Rock has been blowing up Twitter again, this time talking about how he (and that John Cena guy) could elevate pro wrestling to heights which it has never seen or something along those grandiose lines. Here, read for yourself:

“A few years ago when Cena – inexplicably – started talking trash publicly, I knew then I could turn this into a massive main event,” Rock wrote. “One that could elevate the WWE to unprecedented heights.

“The timing had to be right though. WrestleMania 27: for me and the fans – the time was right. The build to WrestleMania 28 will be like nothing the world has ever seen before. The match itself will be historic. I didn’t come back to WWE to become champion again.

“I came back for these reasons: entertain the fans like no one else can. Elevate WWE to new heights never seen before Challenge and mentor some younger talent. Give the millions what they want which is to kick John Cena’s f’n ass.”

In response to being asked if he regrets saying he’d never leave, and then leaving, he Tweeted:

“I never meant to mislead of confuse the fans and I apologize if I did. The overall goal was to make (a) huge impact and elevate WrestleMania. Shoot my movie commitments, then return as soon as I wrap the film and help elevate the WWE and the overall business of professional wrestling. Survivor Series, Mania, etc.”

First, Rock, hey, listen, hey: Twitter gave us 140 characters at a time for a reason, OK? Simmer down. Second, I’m not one of those people who has even formed an opinion of the Rock coming and going from WWE. I don’t care, and I don’t care if he says WWE is home and then he’s never on TV. Whatever, it’s all about the story, and so far the story is being told gradually, and that’s important. WWE is finally showing restraint leading up to its biggest show of the year, so they can’t burn through the Rock’s special appearances or this main event would have happened at Capitol Punishment.

The thing that bothers me is how Rock is teetering on Mick Foley territory. “I’m gonna do this, and I’m gonna do that,” only in the third person. Yes, the character of “The Rock” has always been a self-assured/egotistical alpha male. But hyperbole is hyperbole, blathering bullshit is blathering bullshit, and things like “historic” matches with freakin’ John Cena and taking advance credit for making WrestleMania 28 “like nothing the world has ever seen before” just doesn’t hit the right note with me. It sounded awesome in promos to 18-year-old son-of-a-bitch Eric. Now, after years of living in the real world and not my parents’ basement, I couldn’t give two shits with three assholes if the Rock promises the best wrestling event since Abraham Lincoln pinned Jesus H. Christ in two straight falls. And I’m a four-year WrestleMania ticket buyer, so yes, I am the target audience here. Again, WWE has been taking the slow-burn approach with this angle, but in my humblest of opinions, they’ll need to kick some serious storytelling ass to get me interested in Jorts-Wearin’ Shoulderblockin’ Hell-Unleashin’ John Cena vs. Nothing Like You’ve Ever Seen Before Just Like All the Rest of ‘Em Johnson. -Eric

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: