Son of a bitch, Jeff Katz steals Shawn Daivari from me for Wrestling Revolution project

*sniff sniff* "Smells like money over here."

You cut right to the heart of me, Jeff Katz: According to Prowrestling.net, Katz announced that the eighth cast member of his Wrestling Revolution project is Shawn Daivari.

We couldn’t be more proud to showcase the completely terrorist and sheik-free talents of Dara “Shawn” Daivari in the WRESTLING REVOLUTION PROJECT.

I didn’t win the lottery fast enough: Katz has nabbed some serious free-agent talent for this project, including Colt “Your Stuff is in the Mail, Jeff Brown” Cabana, Kenny Omega and Ken Doane (as well as former WWE superstar MVP). If he’s able to pull the Human Tornado out of retirement and convince Mike Quackenbush to work for him along with running Chikara, I’ll eat my hat and urinate on my fantasy booking notebook. (P.S. Would I have made Daivari into a stereotypical sheik character? Of course! The Sheik of Freakish, Sudden Musculature. License to print money.) -Eric

Matt Hardy Sucks On Youtube and Twitter

Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa, look at me. Look at me. Pay attention to me.

Matt Hardy pulled a fast one on everyone with his “Suicide” video last night. Even though it isn’t really a suicide video since he never mentioned the words death, suicide, kill, heaven or hell. See that was easy. Hardy took to Twitter and defended himself and Prowrestling.net has the complete rundown. But wait, there’s more, and I don’t mean Chocodiles.

The only words that can convey what this means to me is very simple. Fuck you. Fuck you. No really, fuck you. I have had it with having to cover this caramel and nougat filled retard.  He’s an attention whore who clearly has issues with futility. He isn’t as popular as his brother. He doesn’t have the charisma of his brother. He never had a gimmick like his friends Shane “Hurricane” Helms and his ex-girlfriend made him a public cuckold. This may not cover it all but you get the gist. Covering Matt Hardy was amusing at first because of this lazy eyed jackass and his obsessive style of extreme close ups on his face followed by slurred word delivery.

If you wonder why this makes me so upset its because we are giving him exactly what he wants. Attention. His “me, me, me” bullshit works. You know why this got posted and riled me up in the process; because Eric guilted me to post this.

Eric:  “need to get that posted”

Well do it yourself next time fucko. This is a waste of my time. This hillbilly queef just wasted seven minutes and thirty-five seconds of my time.

You know what you can do in seven minutes and thirty-five seconds? Well, I could have listened  two songs. Read all of the news PWTorch.com broke for the last month. A decent jerk and clean session. Read Kevin’s Almost Live, Definitely Half Assed Reviews.

Any of that is more enjoyable than reporting, yet again, on Matt Hardy. Fuck you.  -Jeremy

ERIC EDIT: A) You’re welcome. B) Here are some fun YouTube comments, the section of the Internet where the dregs of the world go to convene:

Starting from now….after this cheeseburger….at this very consumption of this piece cake….and after this chocolate milkshake…..starting from this large pizza….will be the Genesis…of MATTHEW.

GO FUCK YOURSELF MATT HARDY

I am Matt Hardy and I will never stop eating grapes, getting drunk, taking drugs, being an attention whore and getting fat.

For all we know, this “metamorphosis” probably means that he put on a few pounds and got a different stupid haircut and now calls himself THE METAMORPHOICAL DIABOANGEL or something.

your the biggest fagg of life

Looks like Stunt Granny has competition in the wordsmithing department! -Eric

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