Kevin’s Blog: Definitely Live & Half Assed Review of Raw

I enjoyed Raw last week. That pug is definitely enjoying something.

I was surprised at how much people disliked Raw last week. I never ended up getting to talk about my thoughts of the show since we talked about the ancillary happenings around the show. If Nash did not pass a physical test, then the WWE had to make a serious adjustment to the storyline. I doubt we get a clean finish between HHH and Punk because they’ve had to speed up this storyline so I’ll wait to see what they pull off. I feel like I need to give the WWE the benefit of the doubt here recently because they have stepped up and given a lot of people chances and bigger pushes. One of these competitors is Zach Ryder, who had a slew of signs last week and got his first video package that had Z! True Long Island Story. They’re also pushing the Divas of Doom and giving the ladies a little more ring time. Sure, the tag team push might just be a fad but again, let’s see them out. Change isn’t going to happen over night.  If I remember anything else, I’ll try to add it into the commentary. Let’s roll, pretty much on time.

After a promo that almost put me to sleep by Del Rio, Bret Hart does get a big response but Cole correctly points out that they’re in Canada. His sunglasses are awful. They’re riding too high on his face. They look like they’re trying to cut out the glare coming off of his forehead. Hart is stumbling all over the place as usual. Illegal Canadians got a chuckle out of me. Cena is playing down to the competition again in the promo department. I’m shocked, all that jockeying set up a tag team match. (That’s sarcasm.) Cody vs. Randy was good on Smackdown. I don’t need to watch it again. Oh, check out of Twitter (@Stuntgranny) for random things like me getting entirely too drunk on a Sunday, waking up at 1 AM then finally Smackdown and doing a review. Not a good day all around. Nothing quite like hitting on a lesbian.

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Second Annual Akeem Memorial Hall of Fame: Matches

Every year, starting in 2010, we here at Stunt Granny will go through a rigorous, dangerous, possibly illegal set of votes to induct people into our own Akeem Memorial Hall of Fame. The voting is broken up into four categories: Serious Wrestlers, Fun Wrestlers, Angles, and Matches. This post is for the Matches. Here are last year’s inductees:

Shawn Michaels vs. Undertaker – WrestleMania 25, Bret Hart vs. Owen Hart – WrestleMania 10, Ric Flair vs. Rick Steamboat – WrestleWar 1989, Ric Flair vs. Rick Steamboat – Chi Town Rumble, Cactus Jack vs. Vader – Halloween Havoc 1993, Bret Hart vs. Steve Austin – WrestleMania 13, Randy Savage vs. Ultimate Warrior – WrestleMania 7, Hulk Hogan vs. Ultimate Warrior – WrestleMania 6, Great Sasuke & Gran Hamada & Masato Yakushiji vs. Taka Michinoku & Terry Boy & Dick Togo – ECW Barely Legal

And now, without any further ado, here are this year’s inductees!

Royal Rumble 1992

Randy Savage vs. Ricky Steamboat, WrestleMania 3

CM Punk vs. John Cena, Money in the Bank 2011

Randy Savage vs. Ric Flair, WrestleMania 8

Mick Foley vs. The Undertaker, King of the Ring 1998

Rob Van Dam vs. Jerry Lynn, ECW Heat Wave 1998

Bret Hart vs. Curt Hennig, Summer Slam 1991

Sting & Nikita Koloff & Rick Steamboat & Barry Windham & Dustin Rhodes vs. Rick Rude & Steve Austin & Arn Anderson & Bobby Eaton & Larry Zbyszko, WrestleWar 1992

Second Annual Akeem Memorial Hall of Fame: Angles

Every year, starting in 2010, we here at Stunt Granny will go through a rigorous, dangerous, possibly illegal set of votes to induct people into our own Akeem Memorial Hall of Fame. The voting is broken up into four categories: Serious Wrestlers, Fun Wrestlers, Angles, and Matches. This post is for the Angles. Here are last year’s inductees:

Hulk Hogan joins the NWO, Steve Austin vs. Vince McMahon – WWF 1998, Junk Yard Dog blinded, Jerry Lawler vs. Bret Hart – WWF 1993, Big Boss Man/Big Show/coffin angle, Ric Flair retirement 2008, Brian Pillman works WWF/WCW/ECW 1996, DX invades WCW, Megapowers form – WWF 1988, Randy Savage vs. Jake the Snake – WWF 1991

And now, without any further ado, here are this year’s inductees!

Hart Foundation vs.USA, WWF 1997

 The Four Horsemen form, break Dusty’s ankle

Big Boss Man/Al Snow/Pepper

Ric Flair retirement angle, WCW 1993

Randy Savage vs. Ricky Steamboat, WWF 1987

WWF title vacated, leading to Royal Rumble to crown new champion, WWF 1991-92

Kerry Von Erich vs. Ric Flair, Christmas 1982

Sting is kicked out of the Horsemen, WCW 1990

Bob Orton wears cast

Second Annual Akeem Memorial Hall of Fame: Fun Wrestlers

Every year, starting in 2010, we here at Stunt Granny will go through a rigorous, dangerous, possibly illegal set of votes to induct people into our own Akeem Memorial Hall of Fame. The voting is broken up into four categories: Serious Wrestlers, Fun Wrestlers, Angles, and Matches. This post is for the Fun Wrestlers. Here are last year’s inductees:

Evil Doink the Clown, Honky Tonk Man, Big Boss Man, Akeem, Repo Man, Norman Smiley

And now, without any further ado, here are this year’s inductees!

La Parka

Sensational Sherri

Big Bubba Rogers

Kamala w/Kimchee

Barry Horowitz

Koko B. Ware

Second Annual Akeem Memorial Hall of Fame: Serious Wrestlers

Every year, starting in 2010, we here at Stunt Granny will go through a rigorous, dangerous, possibly illegal set of votes to induct people into our own Akeem Memorial Hall of Fame. The voting is broken up into four categories: Serious Wrestlers, Fun Wrestlers, Angles, and Matches. This post is for the Serious Wrestlers. Here are last year’s inductees:

Ric Flair, Steve Austin, Shawn Michaels, Roddy Piper, Rick Steamboat, The Rock, Curt Hennig

And now, without any further ado, here are this year’s inductees!

Hulk Hogan

Randy Savage

Chris Jericho

Jerry Lawler

Terry Funk

The Midnight Express

Harley Race

Nick Bockwinkel

Andre the Giant

The Freebirds

Headlines: Roddy Piper’s neck, Triple H’s dreck, Kurt Angle’s… movie.

THIS is what a wrestling movie star looks like.

According to Prowrestling.net, Rowdy Roddy Piper announced on Twitter that he’ll undergo neck surgery today.

(1)I’ll try to explain. At he time I was doing Fantasy Factory And WWE Access, I BROKE MY NECK! But I didn’t know it! I knew I was Hurt, (2) I hurt all the time. I just thought the neck injury will go away. But after couple months my neck is hurting worse. No sleep from pain. (3) So I go to best Doctors in Country. When Doc saw the MRI’s he went into the 911 attitude fast. So now at 10 am. there cutting me open!

Other Tweets from Piper include:

There going to shave my hair, slash neck open, and take a chisel and hammer to my neck bones. That’s in 5 hrs.Waiting 4 God to send Locusts

There’s a bright side of geeting neck cut off. You get to wear bumless house coats. Great jello….help me out here!

Leave it to Piper to make light of such a serious situation. He’s clearly drunk.

Also according to Prowrestling.net, the newly released movie “Warrior,” featuring Kurt Angle as a Russian MMA fighter, opened at No. 3 this week, with a box office gate of $5.6 million. That figure places the film in the “failure” category. Only in entertainment can $5.6 million be considered a failure. If only I were Ric Flair, Mark Madden or Matt Hardy; then I’d be a complete success based on my income alone.

Finally, according to Prowrestling.net, Triple H’s movie “Inside Out” didn’t even break the top 50 box office list. Prowrestling.net’s Jason Powell notes that the No. 50 movie of the weekend made $20,400. At $9 a ticket, I’m guessing a movie starring Stephanie McMahon’s husband raked in exactly $18. Stick with what you know, Hunter, which is killing a crowd 20 minutes at a time instead of 90. Blecch. -Eric

Stunt Granny Big 11 (or so) Week Ending 9/10/11

(In the vain of all of these college athletic conferences going out of whack, we’ve decided that the Stunt Granny Big 11 will, from this day forward, include 12 items!)

(Except this one! See, the beauty of the Big 11 is that it can really hold as many items as we like. This week, we liked five.)

1. Kurt Angle – Gargle gargle pill pill drink drive jail. -Eric
2. Jeff Hardy – Hardy made his triumphant return to TNA this week. That’s like being the Employee of the Month at that place where mentally handicapped people sort your cans and bottles. The regular season of the NFL also made its triumphant return to television, so anyone who watched Hardy on TNA live as it happened basically has no penis. -Eric
3. WWE Network – Vince McMahon’s latest foray into the entertainment business is picking up buzz, mostly by people who are hoping WWE simply buys G4 and keeps Ninja Warrior on the air. Believe me, that show is a hell of a lot more entertaining than WCW Nitro from 1999 or replays of WWF house shows from Boston Garden. “Oh my god, Pete Sanchez wrestled Rene Goulet to a 20-minute draw?!?!?!” -Eric
4. Kevin Nash- So he’s gone from WWE for real? Is it an angle? Is it due to his failed alleged physical? Does it matter?  We get Triple H and CM Punk in their first match which is booked like their final confrontation. –Jeremy
5. Michael Luisi- He is the new head of WWE Films, yes it still exists. He spent twelve years at Miramax and they had some decent movies. Just ask Bob and Harvey Weinstein they’ll tell you just how great they are. Here’s hoping Luisi can uphold the excellent quality of WWE’s film releases. You know the ones that go straight to DVD.  –Jeremy
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