Headlines: Batista Tweets about Melina, Ziggler fractures jaw, Vince McMahon goes shit-house

And then he'll have this for dessert.

According to Prowrestling.net, Batista recently Tweeted that he’s not interested in returning to wrestling and that he would entertain an offer from MMA outfit Bellator. The more interesting part of his Tweet, which just sounds kinda thrown in both in and out of context, reads:

I have no idea why WWE released their hottest Diva.

Batista is surely referring to Melina, whom he used to bang on the side when his wife had cancer and when Melina was dating current holder of the deed to the doghouse, John Morrison. What does this ultimately mean? Batista is the man, Melina is a slut, and John Morrison is a skinny punk-ass bitch who needs to cut his losses and get on with life instead of being Matt Hardy with abs. I guarantee if Morrison ever saw Batista walk around a corner, Morrison would use that stupid Parkour shit to run up the wall, but then he’d have a real eagle-eye view of Batista doing whatever he wants with his own sloppy seconds.

Also according to Prowrestling.net, Dolph Ziggler suffered a hairline mandibular fracture this past Monday on Raw, but it sounds like he won’t miss much time, if any. For those of you who weren’t alive to see Mick Foley wrestle as Mankind, “mandible” is another word for jaw. Ziggler’s opponent on Monday, Zack Ryder, isn’t exactly a stiff worker, but Ziggler did take a punch to the face from actor Hugh Jackman. Or as Tracy Morgan calls him, “Jack Human.” (Click ahead to 5:40)

Finally, according to Prowrestling.net, Vince McMahon yelled at Alberto del Rio and Comic Book Guy Writer #482 backstage after del Rio mentioned Vince McMahon by name on Monday Night Raw. McMahon seems totally bi-polar (a really important attribute for a chairman and CEO) and could have easily spun around 180 degrees and kissed a Make-A-Wish kid on the head and asked butterflies to braid a retarded girl’s hair, then gone right back to berating del Rio. In fact, I’m positive he could do that, and I’d pay money to see it. There you go, Vince, book that exact segment for the December PPV and you’ve got yourself an extra buy. -Eric

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