Kevin’s Blog: Almost Live, Definitely Half Assed Review of Smackdown

I'm going to guess none of the cheerleaders at the game near me look like Minka Kelly.

I’m bored and it’s Friday. There’s a high school football game at the high school near me so my one dog becomes a shut in. The public address system hurts her ears. I’m still in the middle of making dinner so this post will still take some breaks. I’m making some creamy tomato sauce with cannelli beans which will go with some whole wheat pasta. Considering I can watch Smackdown in about an hour, I still might catch up. Let’s roll.

Johnny gets the mic to start the show. They must be trying to get us to turn the channel. I tape Star Wars: The Clone Wars at this time slot. Yep, I’m a dork. Oh that’s right, you’re reading this. You’re a dork too. I glaze over until he introduces Mark Henry. He does OK then Trips arrives. Christian kisses up so you know the attack is coming. Ah, the one last match gimmick is coming. That’s kind of funny. I hope they drop the gag soon though. Trips makes a match between Christian & Henry. He was cracking me up telling Henry to hold on. Why wasn’t Sheamus out there?

Ginger on Ginger violence coming up. Slater getting in more offense than I expected. It was still pretty much a squash match though. So, does the WWE really cement Sheamus as a baby face by having him be the one who stopped Henry? Is that why they pulled that feud apart earlier than they should have? Christian still getting much TV time.

Former Nexus members Barrett vs. Gabriel goes down. Glad the announcers let me know they wrestled in a tag match. I thought it was a singles match. I wish this match would have been built up more. It’s not going to be a main event match but why shouldn’t a match like this be a curtain jerker at a PPV? Wow, emphatic win for Barrett.

Randy Orton counting on winning the title back at Hell In A Cell. Striker didn’t look too douchey. I get to FF thru the HIAC retrospective. Christian talking to Zeke when we get back. Christian is the dumbest heel ever. Shouldn’t he be talking to fellow heels? Or does he think these baby faces are like swing voters?

What the hell kind of boots is Kaitlyn wearing? They look like silver sneakers. They do match her outfit. Quick Glam Slam after some offense by AJ leads to a victory for Phoenix & Natalya.

Orton takes on Cody Rhodes for the mid-main event. Orton gets DQed. I wasn’t really paying attention. They are giving Rhodes a reason to continue to wear the mask. I could really FF thru the beat down. Instead, while I watch. I’m going to mention that the food came out great. I sauteed the onions, carrots, garlic & green pepper in bacon fat. I added the tomatoes later along with white wine. Toss in some pepper, crushed red pepper & sea salt to taste. You put the heavy cream, tomato paste & peas in last after the pasta is cooked. I put in some oregano, fresh basil & parsely. Bingo. Best sauce I’ve made in a while. Christian not noticing Sheamus’s sarcasm. Funny potato joke.

Mahal vs. Khali could have been used as a PPV match too. Mahal is toast if he loses. Yep, the WWE isn’t digging him.

Daniel Bryan takes on the Mistico variety of Sin Cara. The announcers are talking about the losing streak. Oh my goodness, Booker forgot what he said last week about the boots. Are the announcers being forced to mix these guys up? Sin Cara the second gets the win. The audience isn’t so much confused as bored. No mic time for either of them hasn’t really built them up to me. Ryder comes out from Orton’s locker room. Ryder acts like he’s still talking to Hugh Jackman. Christian doesn’t talk to Orton. Good plan.

Air Boom does have better timing on their entrance now. I do dig the dance the Usos do before the match. Air Bourne finishes the match. Good win for them. They don’t have anyone now though without Miz & Truth to fight.

Christian takes on Henry in the main event. Glad the announcers are saying this could be quick. Wow, commercial, really? That’s TNA level bad for a break.

The talk is keeping me in the match. I really dig this trio. Even if Booker forgot what he said last week. Christian gets in some offense to get this match moving in the right direction. I know I’m supposed to be intimidated by Henry tossing everyone around but it looks like a bad cartoon. Sheamus tosses Christian back into the win for the clean pin. Orton hits the ring. Henry did nail the facials about some seeping in doubt. -Kevin

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