Kevin’s Blog: Almost Live, Definitely Half Assed Review of Smackdown

There are no posts on this barn, much like our site.

One of the reason I have started doing more reviews is because sometimes we run into the problem of not having enough stories every week. We try to pattern our site partially off of What Would Tyler Durden Do? you need news in the headlines to be able to goof on wrestlers bad decisions. We end up without posts and no idea what to put into the Big 11 when the news cycle is silent. I mean, Jeremy had to post about Jimmy Uso driving tanked out of his mind. That’s kind of desperate. So here I am. Ready to do a Smackdown review so we get another post up. Let’s roll.

Booker T gets Jim Ross’s job and introduces Mark Henry for an interview. Henry going to surly is awesome. He turned both interviewer’s words against them. The close up shots of Henry are great. Look at that the size of that boy’s heed! Well that’s a huge noggin. That’s a virtual planetoid! Henry killing it right now. The Great Khali gets to officially lose on Smackdown. Having Khali get in some offense will only help Henry’s credibility when he wins. No one has taken a beating like this from Khali. Mike Chioda back from his 30 day suspension. Nice seeing you Mike.

Mahal gets to yell at Khali is being carted to the hospital. I FF thru the announcer babble then the ring introductions. Evan Bourne takes on Jack Swagger. I just yawned as Cole started talking about the law suit. Booker brings us back into the match. Ziggler interferes but it doesn’t help. Vickie’s interference does work. Swagger clamps on the Ankle Lock for the victory. More from the announcers so that they can explain the Sin Cara situation. I should yawn now too. Sin Cara squared is booked for HIAC.

The Mistico variety of Sin Cara wrestles everyone’s favorite hill billy, Heath Slater. Wow, Slater is a bigger jobber than I thought. Since Sin Cara did most of his promo in Spanish, he called out Mistico but no one really paid attention and the announcers didn’t stress it well enough. Cole acting confused threw it off. No reason for that. Help the fans.

Video package time then a round table of sue happy people. Johnny Wooden Teeth gets to bore us. Then David Otunga. He tells them to calm down after they barely agree to Monday. What garbage.

Beth is at the announce desk. Kelly Kelly is taking on Natalya. Beth not explaining her point of view or Cole. KK with another cheap roll up victory. Beth is not going to win at HIAC. Not after a beat down like this. It wouldn’t fall under WWE even steven rules. I’m out of hope for the women’s division much like Jeremy losing faith in the long term story telling in other parts of the product.

Cody Rhodes does a good job of selling his grievances. He has more of a point about Orton but his case loses steam after that. Sheamus takes him on.  Obviously Sheamus is not going to win this match since the IC Title is way beneath him.  The WWE has enough faith in Rhodes & Sheamus to carry the mid-main event. Mildly surprising at least in the Cody department.

Cole asks for an explanation for why Orton isn’t fined and Henry was. Dope 1 & 2 couldn’t spit out the words “Because Henry attacked an announcer.” Rhodes trying to toss Sheamus was too funny. I’m close to the size of Cody. I wouldn’t be able to toss Sheamus around. Rhodes looking tough for kicking out of the sledge to the head. There we go. Christian Killswitches Sheamus.

I have 36 minutes left when the show actually ends. Zack Ryder takes on JTG who has to be rethinking his career choices. He gets to job to Ryder. Broski Boot on gets a two count. Rough Ryder for the win. Perfect use of both guys. Booker saying you need to believe in yourself. He’s right. HHH implies firing Johnny Wooden Neck.

After I buzz thru the HIAC video package & the line up, Randy Orton talks about how he isn’t intimidated. I’m glad he has cut back the beard and hair. He also seems to be sporting a new shirt. Good for him. Better than the #1 contender in TNA.

Orton takes on Christian in the main event. Unless HHH has another announcement. I didn’t read the spoilers. My drugged up dog is snoring on my lap right night. He’s still taking pain meds from his surgery to remove a tumor on Tuesday. They’re doing the thing as we hit commercial.

I think this might be the first good match on TV this week. AJ vs. Roode didn’t get a commercial break and they don’t mesh as well as these two. I like that the spear for Christian isn’t a finisher. He’s not as big as other guys that do it so it should have less impact. They get counted out, nice change of pace from more interference. Orton gets ambushed by Rhodes. Sheamus makes the save, Henry marches down and they go at it. Please don’t do even steven booking since Henry got in the World’s Strongest Slam. I’m begging you WWE. Keep Henry rolling. I feel much better after the RKO. -Kevin

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