Kevin’s Blog: Almost Live, Definitely Half Assed Review of Raw

TNA doesn't deserve the picture of a real train wreck.

I haven’t had hope that TNA would take over the WWE for prominence, probably ever. I had traveled to Altoona and barely had my wits about me when I got back. Despite doing an Impact Wrestling review, I had forgotten about Bound For Glory. It seems that TNA forgot they had a pay per view too. What a truly horrific way to finish your “Super Bowl”. Those guys don’t deserve anyone’s money. The results also make me know for sure that despite the WWE’s major slump and veering off course after giving me hope recently that they’re still easily the best wrestling product on TV. I love PWO, but they are still training people on the job who graduate up to both of these organizations. I enjoy seeing that development. Of note, for some reason or another my Twitter froze up last night (on my computer and phone) while trying to do a near delusional review of Smackdown. I hope that doesn’t happen tonight. 9:15, Let’s roll.

I get to FF to start the show. They’re trying to make it worse than TNA. Johnny Wooden GM starts us off. John, we don’t find anything you do humorous or entertaining at all despite trying to get the “irony” boos. I’m shocked that JR really shows up. When’s the punch line coming? The main event is set and I’m completely uninspired. Shouldn’t there be a stipulation that the loser leaves Raw? How does that settle their differences? Orton is introed as we hit the first commercial break. Just wow.

John Morrison gets a good pop from the Mexicans. Sheamus doesn’t do much better. The heels (Christian, Cody Rhodes & Mark Henry) come out in short order. I can’t believe that Cole had to explain to us that Lawler was put thru a table by Henry to explain why Lawler was happy Henry went thru a table. Memories are for losers. Orton assaults Rhodes so that they can make some real animosity before their match on Sunday.

We are informed that it’s now a tag team match. I’d imagine since Morrison is the only one without a PPV match, he’s taking the pin. Sheamus & Christian fight thru the crowd to take it down to one on one match. Morrison looked good in defeat. The toss into the World’s Strongest Slam was cool and most guys couldn’t pull that off.

Brodus Clay gets more hype. He needs to be on Smackdown with the other giants. Man, they expanded that. Clay delivered well. Johnny Wooden GM gets the hoochies because he’s an evil GM. Del Rio comes in. Winner gets to chose stips for the PPV. Um, don’t we need another stipulation for the match? Eve is taking on Beth Phoenix at Vengeance. She gets to beat Natalya who has been the jobber. Eve busted out some reverse Cross Rhodes reverse then a top rope moonsault to try and make herself look like a worthy in one match. The WWE even realizes it’s throwing that match together with a quickness.

Where is CM Punk‘s Ice Cream Bar T Shirt? The Miz & R Truth berate him ironically. Why is HHH in a suit? How does that make any sense? I’m not even going to make a new paragraph for that commercial break. They hyped the PPV so it took up most of that break. I’ve mentioned PPV in almost every segment so good on them, I suppose. Miz just looks comical looking “angry”. Tone down the inner reality TV star. A bottle of water kills Punk. Johnny Wooden GM tells HHH there’s an immigration problem. He’s not immigrating. He’s there on a business trip and would only need a visa. Did that match finish?

I guess it’s not finished. Cool. The match is doing good. I’m pretty sure he could wrestle a paper bag and make it look good right now. As I type that, the top rope elbow looks a bit sloopy. Miz runs into Truth so Punk can win and get the beat down. Solid plan. Miz & Truth go for more “irony” moments. Yep, I chose that word as the theme of the night a while ago.

Vickie comes down to book a match that has been built up before this week. Ziggler & Swagger vs. Air Boom. Dolph’s line about his abs is not equaled by the camera work. How do you not pan to them after that? Swagger gets to suck by poorly singing the National Anthem. Air Boom can’t come quick enough. Zack Ryder gets to wrestle Swagger. Wow, he gets a quick pin fall victory with a Rough Ryder. Mason Ryan saves his ass. Um, why wasn’t that Kofi? Even if Dolph takes him on, why isn’t this still Kofi? Does a Dolph win by any means do anything other than damage Ryan?

Ryan gets DQed after the break. So, the heels look terrible before their title match? How does this make any sense? If Air Boom loses on Sunday, they’re pathetic. Or this is some weird version of even steven booking. JR gets to have a promo but Cole gets the last word even though he’s been on a promo since the match was announced.

Another round of hype goes into Vengeance. Is Del Rio getting a positive response or are people just impressed that he’s this big time in the WWE? They looked to be taking pictures but not really cheering for him.

Ricardo introduces Cole too. JR comes out before Cena who gets a better reception in Mexico than he does in Boston. Cole & JR start out.JR slaps Cole which leads to Cena vs. Del Rio. Alberto is getting some response and there’s more booing for Cena during the match. Why did they basically give away their PPV main event 6 days early? Cena looked really awkward going into that tilt a whirl back breaker. Ah, heel heat tag by Del Rio leads to Cole’s ass kicking. JR gets to tap Cole to the ankle lock. What a lame finish. I don’t care that Cena has the choice. -Kevin

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