Kevin’s Blog: Definitely Live & Half Assed Review of Raw

They are pushing the traditional 5 on 5 matches this year.

It is upon me again. Another three hour Raw. I started late because I needed to knock more stuff off my DVR. It happened to be watching Iron Chef America: Thanksgiving Showdown. I can’t get enough of the cooking. I made some killer baby bok choy slaw and shredded teriyaki ginger barbeque chicken. It is tasty. I was going to babble about my mother’s Thanksgiving dinner but I will save that talk for next week when we’re closer to the holiday. The Rock is on today. Lucky us, a whole segment might be funny. I need to start reviewing Smackdown on more than just Twitter because it is a much better show now that they’re firmly back in the development phase of the show. Oh well, Let’s roll.

We get the pleasure of starting with the Michael Cole challenge. You had to know lots of filler was coming tonight. What would be the use of showcasing wrestlers? We start with the usual arm wrestling schtick. Cole insults BBQ sauce. I haven’t tried JR’s stuff. I should at some point. I can’t drink enough to forget this dance competition and finish this article. Cole is dumb for letting the fans judge anything. He knows they hate him. Is there any cheap heat Cole hasn’t tried yet? After we get to see people on a scale, Punk shows up. Punk stating the obvious again. Does he cry at night that he gets to say what’s wrong but it doesn’t actually solve the problem? Oh, Twitter drinking game is so on tonight.  Twitter gets mentioned for a 3rd time before Mick Foley shows up. I’m glad Foley got a hair cut.

Hunico & Cody Rhodes vs Sin Cara & Kofi to start. It allows me to drink some Brothers Drake Mead, which is a honey wine, Honey Oak flavor. I barely get to type that and we get a commercial. I don’t bag on Kofi’s offense as much as the other guys on the site but that rolling clothesline is beyond dumb. Rhodes wins with his finisher. Good choice for a finish. I will enjoy Cody more without a crutch like the mask or mirror before it.

Santino is back in full force as the comedy act of Raw. The Broski defends Cena’s in ring work. I’ve got nothing on that segment. It existed. Vickie almost announces my boy Dolph as the 5th member of Team Barrett. Ziggler does a solid job again. I want his big title push!

Of course Cole needs to be more important than the show again. Mason Ryan comes out to take on Ziggler. Ryan comes out on fire. I don’t think the monster can lose quite yet. The WWE doesn’t want either guy to lose. Morrison gets to be the next title holder so Dolph can move up. Fingers crossed. Foley gets to talk to Ryder. Are they going to give any segment time aside from ones involving Cole?

Foley gets the top of the 9 hour spot. He gets a good but not great reception. So, he was brought out to be Cena‘s Ricardo Rodriguez? I’m checking texts during “It’s Your Life.” Are they really doing this same segment again? Please mention Twitter again so I have to drink. Bull Buchanan wakes me up when he’s angry. Rock comes in Rock Bottom’s Foley and walks out. Awesome. Lots of filler. Rock gets the 10 PM slot. Maybe the main event. Barrett Barge is so stupid.

Jack Swagger gets to lose to Sheamus to even things up for the teams. That and Swagger is a jobber. Nothing happens in the second match of the night before another commercial. Swagger is in control for some reason after the break. I barely paid attention to the match because it was a fore gone conclusion. And I was drinking for 2 mentions of Twitter. The Bellas try to hook up with Alberto Del Rio. Zack Ryder gets his nose in. The Bellas are disgusted and disgusting.

Kelly Kelly got on the cover of Maxim then a win on Natalya who is the women’s queen of the jobbers. Mention Twitter so I can drink again.

Johnny Wooden GM says that Brodus Clay is debuting next week. Pretty much. Johnny talks straight with Alberto. Might be the best he’s been on a mic. Alberto showing some personality. It’s a start. After a Survivor Series preview, we get the overshadowed appearance of R Truth & The Miz. Striker gets to ask dumb questions. Good segment thru silence. Del Rio attacks Punk before his match. Nice work because they were playing the “going to break” music when it happened.

Punk & Big Show take on Alberto Del Rio & Mark Henry. Punk shows no ill effects from the attack. How dumb. The big guys take on each other. Isn’t that the reason for a tag match? For the opponents of the PPV not wrestling against each other? Every match has been interrupted with a commercial except for the ladies. Go figure. Nice finish with Henry slamming Punk. We can only hope the cross arm breaker is the sign that Punk takes Del Rio’s push to the brakes for the first time. As they replay Foley getting Rock Bottomed, I missed the fat kid pounding his chest like he was tough. Or in shape. Hilarious.

Kevin Nash ends another Santino skit. Seriously, you can’t even pretend to try and use more guys? Nash agrees with Santino before turning on him. He blames HHH for not hiring him after the Royal Rumble. Nash isn’t going to wrestle too often so this is a good segment to get him over. Keep a face for this feud on TV at all. HHH needs to sell his injuries for quite a while.

Jonah Hill & WWE12 both get pimped. Barrett comes to the ring with his team. They’d never do a big brawl to end this segment, would they? (That’s sarcasm.) Randy Orton brings his crew too. Sheamus’ Great White t shirt is so uninspired. I have an article in me about some of the WWE’s shirts and that word is prominently involved. Commercial before a match this time. They did the predictable afterwards though.

The Rock finally does something for Raw. Rock keeps it fairly short and nails it. Glad he calls out Awesome Truth. Cena joins to insult the Rock. So Rock beating up both of them is supposed to make me buy Survivor Series? I might on general principle but that segment though well executed, pointed out again that Miz & Truth only win is if Cena & Rock attack each other. -Kevin

4 Responses

  1. Drinking w/ Kevin on Monday nights has got to be the bright spot lately. #twitter

  2. When will someone realize that we are creating a new generation of alcoholics with this 3 hour concept?

  3. […] little more than a month ago, I asked of CM Punk “Does he cry at night that he gets to say what’s wrong but it doesn’t […]

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