Kevin’s Blog: Almost Live, Definitely Half Assed Review of Raw

Welcome back Sidney Crosby & Zybnek Michalek

Tonight was never going to start on time. Not with Sidney Crosby returning to the Penguins. He did not disappoint. 2 goals and 2 assists after nearly a year off. Incredible. Bring on the haters. On a minor note, Zybnek Michalek, a superb shut down defenseman, came back too. The Pensblog gave him the nickname Michalek Island last year because of how shut down he is. Let’s roll.

Booker T joins the broad cast booth. I love 3 man booths. (That’s sarcasm.) CM Punk really puts over the WWE Title. Old school bitches. Where’s Johnny Wooden GM? There he is. Punk gets Dolph Ziggler. Drink for the Twitter symbol. A fairly boring segment. I had to explain everything to my buddy Sean so I didn’t pay attention. Punk was drug down.

Zack Ryder leads off against Alberto Del Rio. Drink again for Ryder’s petition on Twitter. I don’t like the hair dye by Ryder. Zack looked good and lost in a reasonable amount of time. Neither of these guysa re good enough to sustain a match like Punk & Ziggler will. We hear from John Cena, later!

Sheamus gets to beat down Jack Swagger. Booker informs us that we’re not playing Tiddlywinks. Sean even hates Vickie’s screeching. She does her job. Sean says “I don’t think I’ve ever seen Sheamus lose.” He’s probably right. Sean catches it infrequently. He thinks the Great White is hilarious in a bad way.

They recap the Kevin Nash storyline. Big Sexy walks to the top of the ramp because he can’t go any further than that. He’s mad because HHH was a boss. I would have taken Nash & HHH against Rock & Cena. He’s the last of the Cliq. Good for you, I’m still not terribly interested. Nothing wrong with the promo though.

Sean is gone so I can concentrate a bit more. I’m glad because I’m liking Cody Rhodes already. Short but better than anything else tonight. Santino is even noted as a joker by the announcers. Well, Cody squashed him. Santino is still a joke. Cody talks trash to Booker. It seems we know why Booker joined the booth tonight. Josh talks to my boy Dolph & Vickie. They push his two wins at Survivor Series. I’m pumped that he’s laying claim to the face of the WWE! Kent State represent!

Booker gets questioned coming back but he’s saving his answer for Smackdown because he’s not important enough for a Raw segment. Dolph gets pimped by Cole, Booker blows CM Punk. Drink for a Twitter mention twice, on screen & by Cole. King is under the weather. Hadn’t thought about it until Cole mentioned it. Not a good distinction for Lawler. They’re pushing his KSU creds again. Booker continuing to call him Zig Zag is cracking me up. Booker put over both Del Rio & Punk well. Hurts Ziggler a bit. Ziggler going with the cross face. Nice addition to the arsenal. The high knee miss leads us to commercial? Wow, the 10 count would well be over by the end of the commercials. Have him tossed back into the ring by Ziggler before the break or at least show him going to get him.

Ziggler getting a rocket to the moon if he wins.  Another Twitter tag, drink again. Punk was powered by Twitter. GTS into a sleeper, nice. Punk is over pretty big but I agree with Eric in the lunch convo about his relevance to the mainstream. Ziggler with a big kick out after the high knee, third attempt. Kia woke up to check out the match. She’s a good dog. Big elbow only gets a two count. Suplex reverse by Ziggler solidifies his upward trend even with only a two count. I’m not sure why they planned the Rough Ryder/Fame Asser into the GTS. Really hurt a great match otherwise. Oh yeah, Punk won.

Big Show tells us we missed an epic night. He delivers an average promo. The Divas are playing WWE 12. Beth & Natty pick n Kelly Kelly & Alicia who thankfully blow them off. No one should be upset by that diss. It was terrible.

WWE interaction site on WWE.com. I might have to expand into any social media mention to have to drink. We’d get blitzed every Monday. The Barrett Barge gets an inset promo. He’s going for the title. No you aren’t, noth with Mark Henry as champ. Kofi is his opponent. Twitter insignia again, drink. Cole did mention it so while I consider expanding the game, we’ll stick to Twitter itself for tonight. Barrett is distracted by Orton so Kofi gets to have a longer match. The match length isn’t helping him. This is a long form ass kicking. Lawler tried to chime in. How did they not know he shouldn’t even be on TV? Booker doing a good job of putting over Barrett. I seem to like a lot of what Booker is saying tonight. Twitter double dip again. Maybe I’ll stick to Twitter. I’m too old to get plastered every Monday. Kofi finally gets some offense. Kofi doesn’t trip himself up and Barrett Wasteland’s him for an emphatic victory. That really was a long squash match. Barrett gets the mic. Orton spooks him. Nice slow build to a feud.

John Cena mentions Twitter. Drink. He recaps Survivor Series for his peep. Cena learns to feed the crowd. Bootes to Asses. Awesome Truth interrupts. Miz calls him on out on acting rosy all the time. R Truth runs him down. Cena threatens them. He came on strong there. Cena is really pimping Wrestlemania. Cena calls them out as a legitimate threat. Cena tries to divide and conquer. He really just undressed them. They got in their shots. Awesome Truth starts to argue with each other. Little Jimmy goes back to a baby face, right? A Skull Crushing Finale on the ramp solidifies that guess. What does Miz is in a bit of a holding pattern. He’s in spot CM Punk was in. Has he been in that spot longer than Punk? Been at least since February, right? -Kevin

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