Kevin’s Blog: Definitely Live & Half Assed Review of Raw

Becky Bayless posted this picture of herself and Serena Deeb on Twitter last night. I'm not going to pass up two hotties for my intro picture.

WWE leads us off with Piper’s Pit since he appeared on Funny or Die recently. They probably have more viewers than Raw right now. Cena is his guest. He re-explains himself. Roddy tells us he’s the face of the WWE. Man, is he actually going to make a good point on TV? I’d imagine Cena has heard this line of questioning back stage before. Roddy trying to get Cena to snap. I like Cena taking a stand. It’s not going to help his split response problems. I was hoping that was more of what Piper was getting at. Alex Riley is being told by John Morrison to look forward to taking his spot as a high ranking jobber.

The Miz attacks Morrison from behind. The joke of the Miz re-establishing anything in the WWE is hilarious. Morrison gets a courageous hero spot before he takes his supposed extended absence. I’m glad Dot Net was even further behind in reporting about Impact Wrestling and Smackdown. Head to Twitter (@Stuntgranny) to see my reviews. You might even be lucky enough to become our 100th follower! Morrison using the kendo stick to get in some offense. Morrison gets to do one last job. We get a replay of the beginning of the match. Our memories are really this short? Or the action was so impressive that it needed a replay? Just a buffer for the Miz to come out and talk. I’m supposed to take him more seriously, I suppose because he had a serious face. How about having him win an important match for more than one PPV at a time? Or without cheating? Just sayin.

The Divas are distracted by Beth & Natalya running around the ring. This division is not getting better. Alicia is the flavor of the month so she gets the pinfall victory. Cole can’t even get his dander up about how terrible they all are. WWE12 is pushed more than the Divas ever will be.

Johnny Wooden GM is doing Brodus Clay a favor. Thanks for the guest appearance David Otunga. Del Rio comes and the skit becomes a train wreck because no one can read all of the cue cards. Punk does fine because he doesn’t need cue cards.

Wade Barrett joins the announce crew. I’ll drink for because I want more of my beer. My home boy Dolph Ziggler takes on Randy Orton. Ziggler had a mid-main event match on Smackdown, now on Raw. Both of these guys throw picture perfect drop kicks. Dolph busts his out first. A superplex is our commercial break move. At least someone didn’t get thrown outside the ring. Wow, quick pin after the break. Ziggler gets the duke after a distraction from Barrett.

Daniel Bryan gets berated by Cole after the commercial. We get a replay of Smackdown since no one watches it. Cole gets to run him down more. Vince really has it out for vegans. Bryan admits to being a hypocrite. He said circumstances change and gets a smattering of applause. Bryan really delivering. Mark Henry interrupts. Nice little stomp by Bryan on his way out. Cole being a hypocrite calling someone else hypocrite is supposed to be clever and enraging but it’s just annoying to me.

Jack Swagger comes out to lose to Zack Ryder. Cole bashes Twitter and Long Island Iced Z. Just dumb hypocrisy since he’ll be pushing it later. Cole hating on Ryder is supposed to help him but yet again I’m just annoyed. Just act like regular announcers on TV. I dig the Kane vignette. I doubt they’ll delay his Resurrection. I missed it last week.

Now is an appropriate time to replay the top of the show skit. Maybe someone joined the second half of the program. Decent way to promote Smackdown. Punk appropriately mocks the stipulation. How is that a set back for him?

Twitter logo, drink. We get plenty of time for CM Punk vs Alberto Del Rio. Barrett & Del Rio are the only wrestlers tonight without some black in their trunks tonight. We get a commercial for the early start. Another mention of how silly the stipulation is so it may come into play. He could get DQed then be deemed to be intentional by Johnny Wooden GM. I hope not. “Where’s our ice cream” chant is more interesting than the match. Hello Alberto! Punk finally mounts his comeback. The crowd is not buying either of these near falls. The crowd reacts to Punk almost getting the pin then almost no sells the two count by Del Rio right after it. Del Rio gets GTSed on the exposed turn buckle. Glad the stipulation didn’t get used. -Kevin

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