RNN Update: WWE.com offers specifics on Randy Orton back injury

According to Prowrestling.net, WWE.com has posted an update on this back injury of Randy Orton’s, which I think is a pile of hot garbage soaked in the juice of lies, but who am I to jump to conclusions?

“Randy suffered a herniated disc on the L4-L5 level on the left side, and that’s resulting in pain and weakness down his leg.” Dr. Sampson stated in the story. “He’s going to need some time off for rehab, anti-inflammatory medications and physical therapy.”

Yeah, well, *I* wanna talk to Sampson!

-Eric

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WWE debuts new house show stage set-up in Pittsburgh to packed crowd

wwe house show stage set-up

Thanks to CM Punk for posting this picture on Twitter. See, social media is good! Of course, it just looks like Diesel is about to come to the ring, but whatever.

According to Prowrestling.net, WWE has created a new, house-show-only set — stage, ramp and LED lights — that was erected (hehe) for the first time last night at a house show in Pittsburgh, Pa. The news leaked thanks to Vickie Guerrero on Twitter:

Flying to Pittsburgh!!! I can’t wait to see the new stage setup tonight. See all of you there

And then thanks to photos posted by Prowrestling.net readers, Guerrero saw “all” of them there:

wwe house show stage set-up

Jam-packed to the rafters!

It’s cool that WWE intends to make house shows more aesthetically pleasing, but if a tree falls in a forest, does it make a sound? My hope is they bring TV cameras to a handful of house shows and then show footage of “the live event experience” on Raw to entice fans to nontelevised events. Otherwise, they might as well join TNA in the stall where they flush money down the commode. -Eric

WWE thinks they’re “working the marks,” stages Randy Orton injury at Smackdown tapings

*sniff* "Quit making fun of WWE, you big mean men!"

According to Prowrestling.net, Randy Orton “suffered an injury” at last night’s WWE Smackdown tapings. Of course, no specific injury was named, but since it was Tweeted on the WWE Insider Twitter account and written up on WWE.com under “Latest News,” it has to be legit, right? Bleh. Jason Powell from Dot Net is speculating that Orton may just be taking time off. That’s probably good, since he’s been on every Raw and Smackdown since what seems like the Andre the Giant Era and could use some time away to make our hearts grow fonder. This may also be an attempt to put heat back on Wade Barrett, who appeared to fizzle out by the end of 2010 but has all the potential of 10 Heidenreichs. Hmmm, that didn’t come out quite like it was meant to.

Then again, when a reputable source such as Examiner.com reports the news as real, you might start to believe it. After all, not just anybody can post stories about pro wrestling at Examiner.com, which is about two notches above Wikipedia on the credibility ladder. I mean, who are you to doubt Phillip Barnard?

Anyway, check back with WWE.com for more on this bogus injury and other fake news items WWE is sure to release, because we Internet fans are a bunch of suckers. -Eric

Kevin’s Blog: Almost Live, Definitely Half Assed Review of #Raw

This kind of looks like my dog. Merry Christmas all over again.

I’m watching Impact Wrestling before starting this blog. I don’t get why the main event is a street fight. These guys don’t have this much built up tension and who cares if three heels don’t like Jeff Hardy? He’s been moved up the card too quickly and Roode still needs to prove himself as champ. Give him someone other than Hardy who is already pretty over. Roode needs to be built up more than Hardy. I doubt they humble Hardy by having him job. That outcome would be ideal though. I have no faith in TNA to do that though. I hope everyone had a good holiday weekend. I got to hang with plenty of friends and family. I missed my dogs but they’re down for the count now. Let’s roll.

Johnny Wooden GM comes out to CM Punk’s music. One of my colleagues said Punk tapped danced to a crappy segment already. Let’s see how this segment plays out. And put your initial on the @Stuntgranny feed you dumby. Johnny gives him the night off then calls it back. The segment was just kind of whatever. We know Punk isn’t going to fight Johnny tonight. Three matches is too much. Cool segment for the mystery person. I’m glad they’ve kept a lid on it and not revealed who it is. Speculation is rare these days.

Booker T takes on Cody Rhodes. This match gets downgraded from PPV too. I still haven’t watched Smackdown as they show a replay from the match between Rhodes & Zack Ryder. Cool trying to be too cool but Lawler finally calls him on it and corrects his history. Rare praise for Lawler. Twitter trend. I’m not drinking. They get a commercial break. That’s surprising but a good way to get them to a PPV. Lawler doing a good job defending the aging wrestler. Cool does the unspeakable and says a Cody win is inevitable. Always a sure sign the aggressor will lose. Booker kicks out at the last second. Cody loses to Booker. They put over Booker as the underdog. It’ll be good to have Rhodes win the war in a PPV match, hopefully. Zack Ryder thanks John Cena for starting his career. Cena tells him it’s Zack being ready for his moment. Cena tells Kane the year is going to end in a bang. The three opponents get a title shot next week. The opponents are Jack Swagger, Dolph Ziggler & Mark Henry. Is Henry still hurt? Can Punk actually pull this off? Weird Kelly Kelly, Big Show & Scott Armstrong segment.

Big Show needs to explain knocking out David Otunga on Smackdown. Otunga talks big. Show is going to fight him with one arm tied behind his back. What we always need too, more Johnny Wooden GM. Ziggler starts mocking Swagger. Vickie breaks up the bickering. She gets them to screw their heads on straight. Henry is walking thru to complete the dumb segment. The heels ran each other down for no real reason. Eve & Ryder are teaming together.

They take on Natalya & Tyson Kidd after the break. Hot damn, how predictable. Good win for Ryder or Eve, I suppose. July has the 1000th Raw. Good idea to start hyping it now. That’ll be three fun hours of drinking. Rough Ryder for the win. That would have been my choice too. Eve gets to fist pump. May as well use her as a valet.

John Cena comes to the ring. The Miz allows Kane to not answer for another week. Miz admits that his win at Wrestlemania was tainted by the Rock’s interference. Cena accepts the Miz’s challenge. The Miz yells at the crowd for chanting the wrong man’s name. I like it. He still needs a big win which he won’t get unless Kane interferes. The Miz gets counted out and reverses course on having to win. Yuck, he has to go for a Bears reference? Truth comes back and attacks Miz. Hopefully this opponent helps move Miz up the card permanently. Why is Miz getting such a good beating? Truth trying to be good guy crazy. It’s not working.

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Merry Christmas

The 12 Days of Jesus H. Christmas: Day 12 – John Morrison is boring, Chyna is gross, dude looks like a Lita

(Whew, this is it, the final day of the 12 Days of Jesus H. Christmas, nearly two weeks of looking back at the dummies and their news stories of 2011. Let’s end it with a whimper: the perennially boring John Morrison decided to take time off after seeing the writing on the wall that no one cares about him; Chyna dove even deeper into the world of pornography, and Lita ill-advisedly appeared somewhere without make-up. *shudder*)

(Originally posted Dec. 12, 2011) According to Prowrestling.net, John Morrison has posted a YouTube video (oh god, not another one…) explaining that he needs time to heal and re-train so that when he comes back, he’s better than ever. That’s not saying much, because he’s not very good. If you’ve ever wanted to see 50 seconds worth of wrestling talk that battles Jumpin’ Jeff Farmer for least interesting wrestling talk, this is it.

Also according to Prowrestling.net, former WWE superstar (not diva) Chyna is listed on the My Porn Provider Web site (please don’t click that) as a “porn star escort.” Even as righteous as I am, I’d still rather just see the words “porn star” as her title, because I can’t imagine anyone in their right god damn mind wanting to be escorted by that train wreck. You might as well drag a dead pig on a chain next to you, because the looks from your friends are going to be the same.

“BRAAAAY”-kin’ the law!

Finally, that dude who played Lita in WWE was arrested over the weekend for speeding and driving with a suspended license. By the look of that mugshot, I’m surprised she (“Amy” Dumas) wasn’t charged with DWD (Driving While Donkey). Yikes. Thank god she was gone before WWE went HD. -Eric

Day 1: Ric Flair still can’t keep his finances straight
Day 2: 
Bret Hart on Twitter, put the letter “S” in front of the wrong word 
Day 3:
 IWA-Mid South: Going Out Of Business Since 2002
Day 4: 
Triple H leading WWE new talent development
Day 5:
 Chyna to make more porn, eidvo43we.. oops, can’t see, gouged my eyes out
Day 6:
 Jeff Hardy tases a woman
Day 7: 
IWA-MS is bakk, Ric Flair is in debt, Sin Cara is suspended
Day 8: So Jimmy Yang still hasn’t gotten paid
Day 9: Matt Hardy’s DWI, Kurt Angle’s DWI, one of them goes to rehab
Day 10: Ronnie from MTV “Jersey Shore” coming to TNA

The 12 Days of Jesus H. Christmas: Day 11 – Sin Cara has a penis shirt

(For the 12 days leading up to Christmas, Stunt Granny will relive with you the 12 most head-slapping, dipshitty stories of 2011, the things that made us wonder why we still watch professional wrestling and support some of these dingbats. Funny how these dingbats continue to resurface: Triple H’s first real pet project, Sin Cara, was sin hope from dia una, first being a sloppy wrestler, then failing a piss test, then injuring himself… and then watching some graphic designer create a T-shirt of him with a penis bump. I have a feeling the hands-on Stone Cold Steve Austin would have never a designer to, say, draw a rattlesnake coming out of his jean shorts. Jake Roberts might have, though…)

(Originally posted Nov. 27, 2011) Now, I’m not nearly eloquent enough to put into words how I feel about this, so I am going to just let the picture do the talking. No, I’m not:

1. Sin Cara is a horrible professional wrestler.

2. That is a terrifically horrible shirt.

3. Sin Cara sucks.

4. How did that get off the production line? Somebody thought this was a good idea.

5. Isn’t Sin Cara Triple H’s baby? Strike one. – Dusty

Day 1: Ric Flair still can’t keep his finances straight
Day 2: 
Bret Hart on Twitter, put the letter “S” in front of the wrong word 
Day 3:
 IWA-Mid South: Going Out Of Business Since 2002
Day 4: 
Triple H leading WWE new talent development
Day 5:
 Chyna to make more porn, eidvo43we.. oops, can’t see, gouged my eyes out
Day 6:
 Jeff Hardy tases a woman
Day 7: 
IWA-MS is bakk, Ric Flair is in debt, Sin Cara is suspended
Day 8: So Jimmy Yang still hasn’t gotten paid
Day 9: Matt Hardy’s DWI, Kurt Angle’s DWI, one of them goes to rehab
Day 10: Ronnie from MTV “Jersey Shore” coming to TNA

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